Depression Understood Forums

hey, i just really need some advice or just someone to talk to because i cant handle it on my own anymore.

ive just lost all motivation in doing anything. i have a good life. friends, famil, and going to a good college for a good degree but i just dont care anymore. ive always viewed life as pointless. we live our entire life trying to achieve success but in the end it is worthless. we work our asses off for years to get recognition, once we do this, its the end of our good years and realise it was all an act with no real point. we are so miniscule in the world that if i were to die today, a max of 15 people would grieve and move on while the rest of the world will keep turning. i have friends and family but i feel like i am still alone. the person i cared about most in the world, the person that gave me motivation, the person that gave me happiness, and the person i wanted to spend the rest of my life with left so she could "figure out who she was." i understand someone wanting to do that but damn she was late to decide thats what she wanted. i dont smile or laugh anymore. all i feel is anger, depression, and regret. im the type of person who is happy when i make other people happy, i dont care at all about myself or what happens to me, i only care about other people. i guess thats where the depression is coming from. i feel alone in this world and since i dont care about myself, im just torn up. i dont want it to sound like im completely down about an ex. it does hurt like hell but the feelings i have go far beyond being sad about a stupid breakup. i dont know what is wrong with me, i dont know what to do, and i dont know how to get out of this hole. the only reason im still alive is because i dont want to be a coward in my familys eyes. please, i just need some advice.

Hello there Van! (pronunciation = Vawn??)

This may sound, perhaps too simple, but I think a change in mindset might work for you.

Here's what I mean:

jvanr1988: i just dont care anymore. ive always viewed life as pointless. we live our entire life trying to achieve success but in the end it is worthless. we work our asses off for years to get recognition, once we do this, its the end of our good years and realise it was all an act with no real point. we are so miniscule in the world that if i were to die today, a max of 15 people would grieve and move on while the rest of the world will keep turning. i have friends and family but i feel like i am still alone.


Maybe it might be a good idea to find something else to live for, in your case? It may very well be what you say.... but then there's still a chance it could be something different.

If what you wrote above is not the life you want, you still have the option to do something different. Forget recognition then. Don't work your ass off at all then. (You do enough, but don't stress yourself out too much doing so.) 15 people may grieve; man, I wish I had that many!

If helping other people makes you happy, have you tried volunteering or something like that?

Remember, you CAN live your life according to your own rules. Maybe it won't be everything, but there are some things you can put your foot down on & be like, "my way or the highway".


You really should work on caring about yourself. The reason I say so is: What happens when people desert you or leave? (I've had that happen to me SO many times or better yet, I have what I call 'wishy-washy' people. If I didn't put myself first, I really wouldn't be here right now.)

About other people & the girlfriend, I'm going to tell you what my adopted aunt told me, which was: Don't put all your eggs in one basket & also don't put all your eggs in one basket too soon. People are people.... We flake; we do wrong; we make bad judgments, etc. What other people do, we don't really have control over that, but when it comes to ourselves, WE CAN.

Also, have you tried your college counselor? (Mine was part of my lifesaver system.) What you ask him/her is: Things are sort of rough. I'm feeling very alone. What strategies can I use to cope better?

Have you tried a doctor?

These are just some of my thoughts.

Take care, please! Welcome & it's nice to meet ya!