(((((((((((((((((((((( amy ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
thanks for the sweet words you said. i believe in the time i've spent here in depression-understood chatrooms/forums, it has helped me greatly grow as a person and get a better prespective at life... also, i believe you guys have watched me grow quite a bit as well, which is awesome because i consider you all family no matter what has happened in the past. all the matters to me is the present and future! the past is the past for a reason, its there to help us live and learn, and to grow as an individual! you guys have helped me realize so much that i never would have seen before. and no matter how stubborn i was about listening to the advise you all gave me about how toxic my ex was and life will go on w/o her, you guys still never gave up on me. now that i realize life goes on, i wish i would have listened sooner but everything happens for a reason and if i did listen, Anson wouldnt be on his way... so im thankful for all of you guys, anyways im getting repetative and that means its time to stop typing for now!
(((((((((((((((((((((((( all ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) love you guys! and thanks so much for being here for me, hope i can return the favor!
Lately....
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Warmsoul/Jeanie13
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((((((((((((((((((( Peach ))))))))))))))))
Know your reply was to Amy, and not butting in on it.
Just wanted you to know that I have known you since the first day you came into chat. We have shared many PM's and emails. During this time I have grown to love and respect you more and more.
Anson is truly a lucky child for you will see he gets all the love, attention and guidance that he will need. You will grow with him and make his life much better.
No matter the path, I hope you keep me with you.
Warmie/Jeanie
Know your reply was to Amy, and not butting in on it.
Just wanted you to know that I have known you since the first day you came into chat. We have shared many PM's and emails. During this time I have grown to love and respect you more and more.
Anson is truly a lucky child for you will see he gets all the love, attention and guidance that he will need. You will grow with him and make his life much better.
No matter the path, I hope you keep me with you.
Warmie/Jeanie
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georgiapeach
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((((((((((((((((((((( jeanie! )))))))))))))))))))))))))))
no matter what path in life i choose, you will always be with me. all the chats we have shared together are special and all hold a different meaning to me. also the same goes for me, as time has went on i have grown to love and respect you more also and i still will. i dont plan on losing this chatroom nor the special people that come and go. i have quite a memory that i dont like to show but i remember wayy to much for my own good! jeanie i hope you keep me with you also on your path/journey of life, you are special to me and i look up to you, yes i know it may sound corny, but you have helped guide me through many sticky situations. anywhoo jeanie, be well and stay safe! enjoy your rock(still want pics when you get time!)... love ya lots!
p.s. im trying to figure out how to post my sonagram pics, gotta get them on the comp, but i will find a way to get some pics of him up here to share with you when he's born! promise
no matter what path in life i choose, you will always be with me. all the chats we have shared together are special and all hold a different meaning to me. also the same goes for me, as time has went on i have grown to love and respect you more also and i still will. i dont plan on losing this chatroom nor the special people that come and go. i have quite a memory that i dont like to show but i remember wayy to much for my own good! jeanie i hope you keep me with you also on your path/journey of life, you are special to me and i look up to you, yes i know it may sound corny, but you have helped guide me through many sticky situations. anywhoo jeanie, be well and stay safe! enjoy your rock(still want pics when you get time!)... love ya lots!
p.s. im trying to figure out how to post my sonagram pics, gotta get them on the comp, but i will find a way to get some pics of him up here to share with you when he's born! promise
Thanks for your encouragement Amy. I have always tried to be a decent person and to have mom tell me that I am mean and things along that line really cuts me to the core.
I am not great in the self-esteem department to begin with, and can't really afford to have that drop any lower. Then I don't think of myself as being worth anything. Not a good thing.
Know that i am turtling, in a really serious way.
Today went better.
I am not great in the self-esteem department to begin with, and can't really afford to have that drop any lower. Then I don't think of myself as being worth anything. Not a good thing.
Know that i am turtling, in a really serious way.
Today went better.
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Warmsoul/Jeanie13
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Monty... please keep in mind that your mother is elderly and so many elderly people are depressed themselves, and they tend to take that depression out in an unkind way... especially with the people they love the most.
You are not mean, my friend. Please know that. You are doing an incredible thing by taking care of your mother, even though it is incredibly hard on you.
Please remember to take care of yourself, ok? Spend time with those wonderful friends of yours... can you have a nurse look in on her weekly so that you can truly get away and escape for a few hours at least? A homemaker, maybe? There is always an answer, Monty. Sometimes it just takes some time to figure it out...
Good thoughts your way.
You are not mean, my friend. Please know that. You are doing an incredible thing by taking care of your mother, even though it is incredibly hard on you.
Please remember to take care of yourself, ok? Spend time with those wonderful friends of yours... can you have a nurse look in on her weekly so that you can truly get away and escape for a few hours at least? A homemaker, maybe? There is always an answer, Monty. Sometimes it just takes some time to figure it out...
Good thoughts your way.
Though I have been in the mental health system since 1988, I was brought up in a family where our religion prohibited outside medical intervention. It made it very difficult for me to get outside help when I needed it. For me I was able to accept it, though the first few times I took pills, I swallowed them, and then just threw them back up again.
I now proscribe to a different religion. My mom still is practicing the religion that she was born and has spent her entire life. It kind of ties my hands behind my back, because I can get no medical assessment of any kind. It kind of leaves me out in left field, on my own.
I can't access any senior's services that our government offers her. There is no movement on that point. Mind you my pdoc said that she may deteriorate to the point that she won't make her religion and impediment to getting help. She is 81 so I think that she is going to have to slip a long ways, before I will be able to get help for her.
I am trying to get help for myself. I think that I have mentioned in previous posts, I am really good at sharing and helping others, but don't take either material things or emotional help easily. I think it is one of those things that if you don't ask for help you can at least have the expectation that maybe, if you had asked, they might have said yes. If you ask, and they say no, that there is no hope left.
I must admit that I find my life frustrating but it helps to have this forum to unload on.
I now proscribe to a different religion. My mom still is practicing the religion that she was born and has spent her entire life. It kind of ties my hands behind my back, because I can get no medical assessment of any kind. It kind of leaves me out in left field, on my own.
I can't access any senior's services that our government offers her. There is no movement on that point. Mind you my pdoc said that she may deteriorate to the point that she won't make her religion and impediment to getting help. She is 81 so I think that she is going to have to slip a long ways, before I will be able to get help for her.
I am trying to get help for myself. I think that I have mentioned in previous posts, I am really good at sharing and helping others, but don't take either material things or emotional help easily. I think it is one of those things that if you don't ask for help you can at least have the expectation that maybe, if you had asked, they might have said yes. If you ask, and they say no, that there is no hope left.
I must admit that I find my life frustrating but it helps to have this forum to unload on.
Unload away, Monty!! Sometimes all we need is to vent to feel better, huh? I'm glad you are trying to take care of yourself. Please remember, although your mother is important to you, YOU must be important to you as well, ok? And, honestly, if it's her religious beliefs not to seek help, then those are her wishes. She might be angry at you for defying her wishes if you try. I don't know, Monty. That's just my opinion, but I wanted to tell you that. Please don't feel guilty about things you have no control over, ok? That's really important in this difficult world. We spend enough time feeling badly about the mistakes me made. In this case? You should feel proud of yourself for taking the care and concern you do for your mother. These have been her beliefs for years. Respecting them does not make you a bad person or daughter. Please keep that in mind. Maybe keeping that in mind, and truly respecting what she wants and believes is a part of what makes you a GREAT daughter...
Thanks Amy,
I have always respected her religious views, even when I got to the point that her religion was intolerable for me. Though she has always tried to dictate my religous views, that behavior hasn't been returned.
The problem that is now presenting itself, is that she will not accept the thought of any physical deterioration. As time goes by it is pretty well a given that there will be some deterioration. No matter how badly I want to be able to do things that I did when I was 20 years younger. It just ain't going to happen.
Because of that I know not to attempt some things. She is getting defiant. One afternoon we were walking up to the store. I was supposed to turn left after crossing the busy street, she was supposed to turn right and go on her way. We got to a patch of ice. I suggested that she walk on the grass and avoid the ice.
I thought that I was being reasonable but whether I was or not, really is a moot point now. She decided to walk on the other side of the ice, in the street, rather than on the grass side. I said that maybe she should go on the grass on her walk home (I wasn't intending to be with her). She said that she would "think about it".
That comment changed my life forever because I don't know if she can reason things out. It is obvious to pretty well anyone that walking on a busy street, is not the best plan in the world.
I feel that I am put in the position that she doesn't go out, unless I go out of the house with her. She leans on my arm now to walk, but tells me that she can walk the 17 blocks to the dentist.
I appreciate the fact that it must be scary for her, because she must know how things are slipping away. I really feel for her because she knows that things will never get better.
I just am now at the point, that it doesn't make any difference if I am physically in the house now, I am home (at least in my head) worrying for 24 hours a day.
The kicker is. I tried to talk to my brother yesterday. He is the one with power of attorney. I can't do anything on my own. All I got from him was the same from mom "I know, I know".
Sorry I went on so long, I just had to get this out somewhere. Thanks for letting me rant.
I have always respected her religious views, even when I got to the point that her religion was intolerable for me. Though she has always tried to dictate my religous views, that behavior hasn't been returned.
The problem that is now presenting itself, is that she will not accept the thought of any physical deterioration. As time goes by it is pretty well a given that there will be some deterioration. No matter how badly I want to be able to do things that I did when I was 20 years younger. It just ain't going to happen.
Because of that I know not to attempt some things. She is getting defiant. One afternoon we were walking up to the store. I was supposed to turn left after crossing the busy street, she was supposed to turn right and go on her way. We got to a patch of ice. I suggested that she walk on the grass and avoid the ice.
I thought that I was being reasonable but whether I was or not, really is a moot point now. She decided to walk on the other side of the ice, in the street, rather than on the grass side. I said that maybe she should go on the grass on her walk home (I wasn't intending to be with her). She said that she would "think about it".
That comment changed my life forever because I don't know if she can reason things out. It is obvious to pretty well anyone that walking on a busy street, is not the best plan in the world.
I feel that I am put in the position that she doesn't go out, unless I go out of the house with her. She leans on my arm now to walk, but tells me that she can walk the 17 blocks to the dentist.
I appreciate the fact that it must be scary for her, because she must know how things are slipping away. I really feel for her because she knows that things will never get better.
I just am now at the point, that it doesn't make any difference if I am physically in the house now, I am home (at least in my head) worrying for 24 hours a day.
The kicker is. I tried to talk to my brother yesterday. He is the one with power of attorney. I can't do anything on my own. All I got from him was the same from mom "I know, I know".
Sorry I went on so long, I just had to get this out somewhere. Thanks for letting me rant.
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Warmsoul/Jeanie13
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georgiapeach
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Warmsoul/Jeanie13
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georgiapeach
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Peachy: how's it all going? Getting better, I hope? And how is the little man coming along? All going well in that deparment too? Hope so. I also hope you are just continuing to plunge ahead and prioritize your care and concern onto you and your son. Those are the most important things in your life right now, peachy girl.
Monty: don't worry about derailing, ok? This is a place for all to vent and seek help and/or advice if needed.
Unfortunately, most brothers, from my experience anyway, don't want to hear about all of the bad stuff and simply allow the women in the family to deal with it all. Your brother will not possibly understand what you are going through unless he walks a day in your shoes... a visit, perhaps? Is he married? Can you talk to his wife? Try to reason with her?
My mother is one of eight children - seven of whom are girls. Not only is her brother the only boy, but the youngest child to boot! Half of my aunts were adults by the time he was even born. When she was dying, he was there, but totally allowed my mother and aunts to carry the burden. He believed in telling her the whole truth about her condition, even though there was absolutely no way to help her, and he agreed on, and convinced my 84-year-old grandmother to have a drastic surgery that would do nothing but worsen her condition in the long run. She got terribly depressed and ended up being far, far worse after they operated. Moral here? Boys don't want to see their mothers' weakening...
Then? On her death bed, she was surrounded by her daughters and granddaughters... her son and grandsons were off to the side, unable to deal with what was happening in front of them. I am not at all implying that these men did not feel the loss as profoundly as the women, but men tend to deal with things differently, in my opinion. Ever see, "Steel Magnolias?" Perfect example of that.
Hang tough, Monty. Your brother is just not facing the situation head on as he is not there with it staring him in the face every day, like you. You must find a way to MAKE him see it. Can the power of attorney be switched somehow?
((((((Peachy))))))
((((((Monty))))))
Monty: don't worry about derailing, ok? This is a place for all to vent and seek help and/or advice if needed.
Unfortunately, most brothers, from my experience anyway, don't want to hear about all of the bad stuff and simply allow the women in the family to deal with it all. Your brother will not possibly understand what you are going through unless he walks a day in your shoes... a visit, perhaps? Is he married? Can you talk to his wife? Try to reason with her?
My mother is one of eight children - seven of whom are girls. Not only is her brother the only boy, but the youngest child to boot! Half of my aunts were adults by the time he was even born. When she was dying, he was there, but totally allowed my mother and aunts to carry the burden. He believed in telling her the whole truth about her condition, even though there was absolutely no way to help her, and he agreed on, and convinced my 84-year-old grandmother to have a drastic surgery that would do nothing but worsen her condition in the long run. She got terribly depressed and ended up being far, far worse after they operated. Moral here? Boys don't want to see their mothers' weakening...
Then? On her death bed, she was surrounded by her daughters and granddaughters... her son and grandsons were off to the side, unable to deal with what was happening in front of them. I am not at all implying that these men did not feel the loss as profoundly as the women, but men tend to deal with things differently, in my opinion. Ever see, "Steel Magnolias?" Perfect example of that.
Hang tough, Monty. Your brother is just not facing the situation head on as he is not there with it staring him in the face every day, like you. You must find a way to MAKE him see it. Can the power of attorney be switched somehow?
((((((Peachy))))))
((((((Monty))))))
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