THEY BROKE ME (trigger)

[hurtfull]

[c olor=blue][/color]My story is long to long for here so I will try to make it shorter.From the time I was 5yrs.-13yrs.I was raped by my real father. I told no one believed until I was 21yrs.of age.then 2 of my brothers started until I was 18yrs old or whenever they saw me.A3rd brother sold to a man in prison and then chickened out.that was a mess.Anyway I got married to my first husband we had one son .but then he decided that he prefered his mother to me.I never got to see that son again except when I would hide in ditches and such just to get a look at him.after I while I had another son he was took when he was just a few weeks old and I got him back 5yrs later on April foolsday.Well lets jump ahead here I and others believe the man I live with help him but I found my son on his knees hanging.And before anyone ask It happened on a monday,that wenday he was getting his motorcycle and moving into his own place.anyway since then I have had two heart sergry within 1 week and now I found out I,m diabete with my sugar staying between 300-400.

[hurtfull]

[c olor=blue][/color]My story is long to long for here so I will try to make it shorter.From the time I was 5yrs.-13yrs.I was raped by my real father. I told no one believed until I was 21yrs.of age.then 2 of my brothers started until I was 18yrs old or whenever they saw me.A3rd brother sold to a man in prison and then chickened out.that was a mess.Anyway I got married to my first husband we had one son .but then he decided that he prefered his mother to me.I never got to see that son again except when I would hide in ditches and such just to get a look at him.after I while I had another son he was took when he was just a few weeks old and I got him back 5yrs later on April foolsday.Well lets jump ahead here I and others believe the man I live with help him but I found my son on his knees hanging.And before anyone ask It happened on a monday,that wenday he was getting his motorcycle and moving into his own place.anyway since then I have had two heart sergry within 1 week and now I found out I,m diabete with my sugar staying between 300-400.

should I keep liveing like this?

[Obayan]

You should always keep living. And keep fighting. This is a battle worth winning. I have had 11 surgeries on my heart in the past 15 years. I have congestive heart disease, unstable angina, arteriosclerosis, ptsd and hypertension among other smaller ailments. And yet, life is still worth living. I think you need to speak to a counselor. It can help a lot.

[hurtfull]

I have been going to counselors since I was 8yrs.On my own accord even made them put me in hospital when I was 11yrs.I,ve been on so many meds I could be a drugstore.The surgries and diabetes even through it like to stay close to 500 these day really isn,t the thing Don,t get me wrong I can,t kill myself but at the same time I don,t want to go on without my son.He was hung and I know he had help And I know the man in this house helped.It,s just man son was my only reason for living,he was my only friend.My only family I could trust. And now it,s been took from me.What thet did to me hurt but that made me stronger and wiser.BUT THIS WITH MY SON IS TO MUCH .ICAN,T STOP CRYING AND BEGGING GOD TO TAKE ME.

[Obayan]

I know it seems helpliess right now. I lost my husband of 22 years. And I've had to bury 6 babies before I had one that would live past 2 weeks old. I'm not saying that I'm worse off or better off than you. I'm just saying that you can make it thru this. I know it's hard. And I know right now you don't want to make it thru it. Most days I don't either. But I do cherise those days where I do want to keep on fighting and hope for better times. I do hope you find some relief soon.

[hurtfull]

You know all together it has been 4 children two was grown oldest in service the youngest andmy heart as always stay with me.As for my lost love he passed away on my youngest son birthday 2010.In alot of ways we r alike but I,ve decided that its not wroth living in a world of loniness and hate.before I was rebuilding my sons car I had only the tranmission seal left to put in when my heart gave out.It was to be painted blue with the M&M guys on it for a show car to raise money for St.Judes hospital.thats what he wanted but now I can,t even get under a car any more so I throught diabetes will be my out now But thank you .u r the only person I,ve heard from.YOU have a heart of gold and gave me a chip off of it .thnks so very much.