I miss my Friend

[amaginon]

My friend died on Friday. He was only a pet rat, but he was my best friend and i miss him intensely. He would run to me when he felt in need of protection (usually from his bullying father) and would ofeten just climb up to me to be stroked when i was reading or watching TV, or even just so he could curl up next to me and go to sleep. I felt needed and he grew into the most important thing in my life. I would give him attention in the morning before i went to work and I I got home from work, he would often be waiting on the couch for his dinner (often he would prefer some of what of I was eating.) Anyway I have had him all his life and he did live a very long life for a rat). (I only got rats because i couldn't have a dog where i am living and i was told rats have very affectionate and distinct personalities, which I now agree with).

Anyway because I had a rather disconcerting childhood, I find it very difficult to trust and connect to other people, so I have always gotten on great with animals, and feel comfortable around them. I am someone who has suffered from depression most of my life. And before George (my rat), i considered my life quite miserable and lonely. But George made me feel needed, and that someone would miss me if i no longer existed . He enjoyed his life and though i have trouble enjoying mine, i did enjoy his enjoyment in life, so my darker thoughts were suppressed in a way.

Now though, he is dead and i feel more alone and empty than ever. When he died i actually cried for the first time since i was 14. (I had sworn to myself then that nothing and no-one would ever make me cry again), and most people i know, consider me very much in control, but George's death has made me sway and i have found myself teary eyed throuout much of the week.

His father is still alive but he is nearly 3. which is around the 90-100yr mark for rats. I am constantly checking on Georges dad when i wake up in the morning and when i come home from work, to make sure he still alive, and i pick him to stroke him often but he was always more independent and does not like to be held or stroked for very long. But because he is the last link,as such to George I am terrified of his approaching death.

I desperately miss my friend, and my life is so painful and empty without him.

[KTrain86]

I'm sorry about your loss. I had an animal friend too. She was a cat, and she died back in late June. We had to put her down because she was very ill, and the vet couldn't guarantee that he could help her get better.

Our cat was my best friend too, and I still miss her. I know what it's like losing a pet. I don't have any friends either, but I agree that animals make good friends.

I didn't think rats could be affectionate or have personalities. I just thought cats and dogs were the only animals that had these human traits.

[amaginon]

I had never considered having rats as pets until a couple of years ago when they were recommended to me (in a way of coping with my depression and melancholy nature) as an alternative to dogs, since my landlord doesn't allow dogs.

I have been surprised how personable (and very clever) they really are. They are very social animals. Like any interactive pet you won't notice their personalities or even their affectionate natures if you treat them like ornamental pets and keep them locked up in a cage or something. But once you interact with them you notice that they all have their own distinct personalities (and because of this some are more affectionate than others).

There is also a large difference between the sexes and i find the males much more like dogs in that they really enjoy company, while the females are a bit more like cats and are a bit more independent. I was originally was supposed to get to females but one turned out to be male so they had babies (never have rats of opposite sex). I seperated and kept one baby of each sex to keep a parent company. The males i let run free around my apartment most of the time but the females were too hard on the furniture to allow them that freedom (the females have a strong nesting instinct that encourtages them to rip into cushions or clothes or rip up paper in an effort to make a nest.

The main problem with rats is that thir life expenctancy is only two years (both the girls only lived for 2 years, but George (my best friend) lived for 2yrs 8mths and his dad (though a bit frail) is still alive and he turns 3 on the last week of december, and i dread his death as i am clinging to him at the moment in my devastation at Georges death.

I just find it extremely difficult and intimidating to talk to people and even the people i do know or have known me for a long time, i find myself unwilling to let them get too close to me. I let myself get too easily hurt by people and let down by them even though they don't know they they have hurt or let me down. I suppose i expect to much from people (even even myself I suppose), but i've never been let down by a pet.

[Emotional_77]

aw im sorry to hear about your loss.. I love animals too, i have a pet cat and I've been thinking how upseting it will be when she is gone cause she means the world to me, she is my best friend. Having a pet rat must of been cool hehe.. i didnt know they only lived till about 3 years. i guess you learn something everyday.

[BrokenPen]

Losing a pet is always hard. No matter what the species.

There's always that bond that one forms with a pet that just cannot be so easily replaced. I should know since after my dog died people suggested that I get a new dog. And really it seems to be like such an asinine solution to think that a friend that you've bonded with for all that time can be so easily replaced by a trip to a pet shop.

[nerdgirl1968]

He wasn't Just a rat...he was your friend and it doesn't matter what shape a friend taked it hurts when they pass.

Some people don't understand that there can be a connection between animlas and humans. Humans are also animals. I have pets that I get along with better than I get along with some people.

I have a bird that I rescued after he fell from the nest last spring. I took care of him and I could not release him into the wild because he no longer knows he is a bird. It was that or let him die.

This bird sees me as one of his own. He communicates with me in the way a bird communicates with other birds. He knows that he can get away with things and he is very intelligent. He mimics things I say and sings songs I taught him. He does not know what he is saying but he knows we are communicating.

You will miss your pet and you will mourn him. Its normal and necessary. It will feel bad and you will cry but know this....the fact that you cared so much for your pet shows what a great life he had with you. Be proud that you cared for him and had a friendhip with him.

Take care,
nerdgirl

[Monty]

All my life I professed that I didn't like animals. I think that it was a matter of being afraid of letting anyone close to me, human or pet.

Then I got a dog and I knew that it's not just possible to have unconditional love between a parent and child, but also between pet and it's "owner".

My dog doesn't live with me anymore, but still have a picture of her in front of me right now, between my keyboard and screen.

True it hurt when she left, but she added so much life to my existence.
Also true that people who say that, pets are just pets, "just don't get it".

Can see by the thread that you first posted a while ago.

Am interested in seeing how you are doing now.

[aim]

A pet is part of a family. We have a dog, and I swear, if anything was to happen to Dakota, I don't know what I would do. I know a day will come when I have to say good-bye to her, but I try to keep that thought tucked far back in my mind... too hard to face.

I'm sorry for your loss. There is a reason that an expression for when someone looks very sad is, "Did you dog die?" Pets are that important to us.

[crystalgaze]

Hhmm.... I know how you feel. I miss my dog Wobbles! I never wanted a dog 'cause I liked cats & was afraid of dogs for the most part, but he changed my life.

I just take what he taught me & remember those times. He was funny. There were lots of laughs. Man, I'm grateful for that.

I also miss my friend, a classmate of mine, who died when we were in high school. He was 1 of the 1st people in my life to show me love. I don't think I've gotten over him yet, but that's okay. It's probably been 8 or more years now.

I also miss my grandfather. He was strange just like me or maybe I was strange, just like him. He was a little troubled, but I feel he had a good heart. He always wanted the best for me. I didn't understand it then, but that's what it was.

I don't get sad any more, but I remember them & live as best as I can. All things come & go. That's it. I know they would have wanted me to be happy.

I beat myself up over my friend's death, for not being there, but I can't change how things happened & I understand why things were the way they were. I really would have liked to have tried, but there is no going back in time.

Edit: Someone I know (but not too well) just passed. He was a very interesting person. He had this great big smile & really positive energy. The vibes he gave off were very good & as such, I never felt threatened around him. He was one of the few people I didn't mind. He was a fisherman & died on the way to the hospital after nearly drowning. He made it to shore, but somehow, he just didn't make it. ~sigh~ He was one of the sons for the gentleman who cuts the grass. Gosh, I feel for the family.

[aim]

All we can do is keep the memories of loved ones (yes pets sooo included) and move on, huh? Losing a pet can almost feel worse, I think. A pet gives you this amazing unconditional love, and just listens when you want to talk.

But I do miss my grandma too. Very very much.