I own a resturant that is failing... yet I come to work everyday anyways. My wife who also co-owns the resturant doesn't seem to care about anything but her own depression and desparation. She needs to be on new meds because the ones she has do not work. Two nights ago, she told everyone she was going to commit suicide, made a few superficial cuts on her arms so people would pay attention to her. They took her to the hospital, deemed she wasn't a threat to herself (they saw right thru her stupid scheme). She went to a psych doctor the next day at CMH, yet they didn't change her meds. She's addicted to pain killers too, has a doctor appt tomorrow to get more meds, and was going to post date a check to pay for the doctor visit (no insurance here). At that point I blew up, I do not see how the hell she can even think about spending money on anything. Rent is due in like 4 days on our house. The rent on the business address is due in 3 days, they are about to shut off the phone and the power, and she wants to spend money we don't have on drugs she doesn't need. I'm trying to get CMH to help, and they are talking to her right now, but I've been sitting here the last few days asking myself, what is the damn point anymore anyways. I hate my life, I hate myself, everything and everyone I touch, I hurt. The world would be a better place without me, and I want to just die. I'm not writing this so I can get a bunch of stupid responses, such as, "you have so much to live for".. and "it will get better.." I've been down that route before, and for the last 8 years, my life has been total shit, and I'm just tired of playin the damn game. In the words of Eric Cartment, "screw you guys, I'm goin home"...
I just wanted there to be some record, somewhere of how I feel. I'm tired, and its time to go...
what is the point anymore....
Moderators: Sunlily92, windsong, BlueGobi, Moderators, Astrid
ok i better be careful here
so you have had enough ,i can see that ,looks bad from here to, must be a big burden ,a failing buisness ,and a troubled realasionship as well .it sounds like your not coming back to view any posts anyway so doesnt really matter what i say ,im not frighten ed of anything you might say to me anyway ,i look death in the eye everyday ,number 1 .wheather you care or not ,i care if you were to die ,if you lay down and give up .deppression will stamp you into the ground ,were will you go if you die ,will it be over ,i dont think so ,you will just go to the next level ,if you think you can give in and wake up among the clouds with a nice man and people playing harps ,that aint gonna happen ,if you do take this path ,let us know what its like ,im sure the big man will let you float down and tell us what its like ,i dont know if you love your wife or not ,it wasnt mensioned anywere ,it was just she ,she ,she wants ,etc ,if shes seeking attention maybe you try giving her some ,i know your hurting to and your so angry ,its making you numb and cold ,you need each other when things are bad ,you,ll get the phone and power sorted out ,and if the resurant goes under you will rise again and do somthing else ,can you pull together and turn it around ,or is it to late ,you started this buisness with your wife so your life has not been shit ,you must be a good man for her to have wanted you ,and you must care for each other in these times of great stress ,so at the moment i can see why you think its not worth bothering with ,but you have to fight back im not gonna tell you it will be easy ,it wont and you will feel shit again and again ,but you will go on if you love your wife ,so turn it around and dont just tell us tell her ,share the burden tell her how much you need her ,oh my love i cant do this on my own ,see it didnt, hurt me ,if you dont reach out to her she will not know how you feel ,you are at the crossroad now ,you can step in ,or you can turn around and walk away from the dark place were the lost souls go ,and you will fall forever and there will be no,one reaching out for you
you did,nt want any mushy crap so i did,nt give you any ,if you wanna shout im here ,but if you die i will hear your cry and my heart will miss abeat ,pull it together reach out and we will catch your fall .we all care here we are the same ,,,,,,xn728
as eric cartman said ,you must respect my authortaaaa , i to have good humour
you did,nt want any mushy crap so i did,nt give you any ,if you wanna shout im here ,but if you die i will hear your cry and my heart will miss abeat ,pull it together reach out and we will catch your fall .we all care here we are the same ,,,,,,xn728
as eric cartman said ,you must respect my authortaaaa , i to have good humour
You aren't going to get any of those canned responses from me.
I have tried before to end my life, I got like you, to the point that I couldn't see any point. Since I am still here I guess that something got be back from edge. If I could give you the formula that helped me, I would, but it is different for anyone. I hope you find the one that is right for you I hate to think of someone that was able to find this place, wasn't able to get what they needed.
I am truly sorry that things are going so poorly for you. It sounds like your world is falling in, around your ears.
Dealing with your stuff, on your own would be daunting for me. Having a wife that is not supportive must make is feel like you are out in left field, all by yourself.
About all I can end off with is, I hope that your first post to us, isn't your last. From what I have found everyone is very supportive and while we can't solve your problems, though if it would help we are here and we will listen.
You won't stand alone.
I have tried before to end my life, I got like you, to the point that I couldn't see any point. Since I am still here I guess that something got be back from edge. If I could give you the formula that helped me, I would, but it is different for anyone. I hope you find the one that is right for you I hate to think of someone that was able to find this place, wasn't able to get what they needed.
I am truly sorry that things are going so poorly for you. It sounds like your world is falling in, around your ears.
Dealing with your stuff, on your own would be daunting for me. Having a wife that is not supportive must make is feel like you are out in left field, all by yourself.
About all I can end off with is, I hope that your first post to us, isn't your last. From what I have found everyone is very supportive and while we can't solve your problems, though if it would help we are here and we will listen.
You won't stand alone.
Hi nos. Definitely sounds like you have so much on your shoulders right now, that what you are feeling is understandable. Did you ever hear of, "Murphy's Law?" Whatever can go wrong will? That sure is what it sounds like. It does stand to reason that, if Murphy's Law is true, why wouldn't everything start to go right again at the same time?
Anyway... I do hope you keep posting.
Anyway... I do hope you keep posting.
just in case you do call back
hi nosveratu if you see these posts from these people you dont know ,i would just like to say ,when i came here i came alone like you did my friend ,and yes i do consider you a friend ,i to was at the end of my rope as it were ,but now these people are all my good friends ,i have read about there lives and i understand them ,we contact each other all the time now ,not just when we feel bad ,but when we feel happy just to say what we did today ,it takes us away from the darkness and it does make you feel better ,you didnt want slushy sympathy so we did not give it ,but we hope you read and learn ,we would not patrenise you ,dont forget we are or have been were you stand now ,you cant see us but we are right at your side now ,you will come through this ,,,,xn728
Nosveratu~
Right off the bat you get a point for the screen-name. But that is beside the point.
xn covered it pretty damn well.
My husband and I were also in the same spot you're in. The good thing was that it was at the time you could go bankrupt no matter what your assets amounted to. So we did. But it nearly killed us, being old fashioned prideful people. We were very ashamed, until we saw that everyone was doing it, the economy was so bad. The bad part was that my husband did what you are doing, getting mad and hating everyone and everything, and had a textbook case mid-life crisis. Told me to go to blazes and everything. So I did exactly what your wife did. I went to the emergency room and asked them why I should live. Little did I know, that was going to cost 660.00 bucks. Then my husband was REALLY mad. And this is a sweet, gentle man. He just completely melted down.
Well, the end result, though it took a few weeks, was that it all worked out. It will for you too. Really. Like xn says, the power and the phone will get sorted out, you'll move on to something better, because it can't get much worse, right?
But the thing I want to say that will justify all this type of talk you didn't want to hear is that suicide doesn't work. Think of this: have you ever had a friend or someone you knew pretty well kill themselves? Well, I've known a couple, and for them, it was fine. They no longer felt anything - they were dead. But beforehand, they thought it was going to punish a lot of people. They thought everybody was going to go off the deep end and cry themselves to death and there would be a big headline in the paper about it etc. etc.. But what really happened was a few people, like his mom, cried for a little while, then they all realized he was much happier being dead, and that cheered them up and they remembered him in good times, and then just put him out of their minds thereafter.
The other problem with suicide is that you have to know what you're doing. I've read alot about people who tried it with pills, but threw up while they were unconscious and saved themselves. Or ones that took antiemitics -keep you from vomiting - and lived, but with severe mental disability. Just great for the people who have to pay the hospital bill and take care of him from then on.
But by this time, after planning it all out, you hopefully will have talked yourself out of it. You are not the first person who's business failed. It's not that important. What's important is your marriage and all that the two of you have been through together and how you've helped each other through the years. That is what is important. But like xn said, that's if you love your wife. You didn't really say. Look at the big picture: one of millions of businesses that went down. One of millions of marriages that is being drug over the coals. Two of millions of men and women that want it all to just end.
But the fact that you found this forum, and wrote it all out, wrote ALL of it out, shows right there that you're already not going to do it. This is not a dare, it is a hope. So write back telling us that you've changed your mind, things could be worse, a LOT worse, and you're going to stay with us. Do that. We'll be waiting.
a5
Right off the bat you get a point for the screen-name. But that is beside the point.
xn covered it pretty damn well.
My husband and I were also in the same spot you're in. The good thing was that it was at the time you could go bankrupt no matter what your assets amounted to. So we did. But it nearly killed us, being old fashioned prideful people. We were very ashamed, until we saw that everyone was doing it, the economy was so bad. The bad part was that my husband did what you are doing, getting mad and hating everyone and everything, and had a textbook case mid-life crisis. Told me to go to blazes and everything. So I did exactly what your wife did. I went to the emergency room and asked them why I should live. Little did I know, that was going to cost 660.00 bucks. Then my husband was REALLY mad. And this is a sweet, gentle man. He just completely melted down.
Well, the end result, though it took a few weeks, was that it all worked out. It will for you too. Really. Like xn says, the power and the phone will get sorted out, you'll move on to something better, because it can't get much worse, right?
But the thing I want to say that will justify all this type of talk you didn't want to hear is that suicide doesn't work. Think of this: have you ever had a friend or someone you knew pretty well kill themselves? Well, I've known a couple, and for them, it was fine. They no longer felt anything - they were dead. But beforehand, they thought it was going to punish a lot of people. They thought everybody was going to go off the deep end and cry themselves to death and there would be a big headline in the paper about it etc. etc.. But what really happened was a few people, like his mom, cried for a little while, then they all realized he was much happier being dead, and that cheered them up and they remembered him in good times, and then just put him out of their minds thereafter.
The other problem with suicide is that you have to know what you're doing. I've read alot about people who tried it with pills, but threw up while they were unconscious and saved themselves. Or ones that took antiemitics -keep you from vomiting - and lived, but with severe mental disability. Just great for the people who have to pay the hospital bill and take care of him from then on.
But by this time, after planning it all out, you hopefully will have talked yourself out of it. You are not the first person who's business failed. It's not that important. What's important is your marriage and all that the two of you have been through together and how you've helped each other through the years. That is what is important. But like xn said, that's if you love your wife. You didn't really say. Look at the big picture: one of millions of businesses that went down. One of millions of marriages that is being drug over the coals. Two of millions of men and women that want it all to just end.
But the fact that you found this forum, and wrote it all out, wrote ALL of it out, shows right there that you're already not going to do it. This is not a dare, it is a hope. So write back telling us that you've changed your mind, things could be worse, a LOT worse, and you're going to stay with us. Do that. We'll be waiting.
a5
Nosveratu,
Have read the posts that were replying to your first one, but haven't read anything back from you.
It doesn't take the brightest bulb on the string, to see that you are under a lot of pressure but even though all you have written is one post., look at all of the support that has been shown to you.
If you are following this thread, would be great if you let us know how you are doing.
Have read the posts that were replying to your first one, but haven't read anything back from you.
It doesn't take the brightest bulb on the string, to see that you are under a lot of pressure but even though all you have written is one post., look at all of the support that has been shown to you.
If you are following this thread, would be great if you let us know how you are doing.
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