Depression Understood Forums

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 12:50 pm Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked,"Dad, why are you doing that?" His father repl...

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 12:49 pm Elephant Jokes 1. What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants in the distance? A. "Look, a herd of elephants in the distance" 2. What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants with sunglasses in the distance? A. Nothing. He doesn't recogni...

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 12:45 pm Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy 1. If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because, man, they're gone. 2. If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason."...

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 12:39 pm "Ain't It The Truth" A day without sunshine is like night. On the other hand....you have different fingers. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. Remember.....Half of the people you know are below average. He who laughs last thinks slowes...

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 12:36 pm Brand new edition of "You know you're a redneck when..." 1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree. 2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter. 3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years. 4. You b...

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 12:31 pm Subject: Ole and Lena Ole and Lena were out walking and Lena clutched her heart and fell to the sidewalk. Ole got out his cell phone and called 9-1-1. The Operator said "Where are you?" Ole said, "We were walking and Lena is on the sidewalk on Eucalyp...

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 12:27 pm Donald Rumsfeld is giving the President his daily briefing. He concludes one item by saying: "Yesterday, three Brazilian soldiers were killed". "Oh no!" exclaims the President. "That's terrible!" His staff sits stunned at this display o...

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 12:26 pm An elderly Irishman lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite cheese scones wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall...

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 12:21 pm 25 signs you have grown up- sad but it has happened 1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. 2 . Having sex in a bunk bed is out of the question. 3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. 4. 6:00am is when you get up, not when you go to b...

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 12:13 pm Texas Christian University and Southern Methodist University Go by their initials. TCU and SMU, what if Sam Houston Institute of Technology went by its initials, Wouldn't that be a hoot! The glass is not half-empty, it’s just twice as big as it needs to be. One day,...

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 12:07 pm MOTHERS' MAINTENANCE MANUAL Many of us take better care of our cars then we do our mothers and yet we only expect our cars to last 5 or 6 years but we expect our mothers to last for a lifetime. Maybe we need a maintenance manual for mothers so we would know how to t...

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 12:04 pm The difference between politics and baseball is that in baseball when you get caught stealing, you're out. The eyes of men speak words the tongue cannot pronounce. (Native American proverb) One good thing about being wrong is the joy it brings to others. If you thin...

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 11:51 am A young girl (18ish) walks into a prestige car sales room. Looks around at all the Porsches, Lamborghini's, Jags etc., and says to the salesman "can I have the red one?" - a top of the range Porsche. " I'll pay cash!" and starts taking handfuls o...

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 11:49 am The young bride's mother had some old-fashioned ideas of marriage, and passed them on to her daughter. "Never let your husband see you in the nude," she advised. "You should always wear something." "Yes, mother," replied the obedient gi...

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 11:44 am

Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects. -
Will Rogers, philosopher

Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got. -
Betty Ford

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean
your mother.


- Unknown