Depression Understood Forums

Posted: Mon Oct 24, 2005 8:55 pm I- Iatrophobia- Fear of going to the doctor or of doctors. Ichthyophobia- Fear of fish. Ideophobia- Fear of ideas. Illyngophobia- Fear of vertigo or feeling dizzy when looking down. Iophobia- Fear of poison. Insectophobia - Fear of insects. Isolophobia- Fear of solit...

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2005 4:41 pm Wanting to lose weight, a woman placed a picture of a shapely, pinup model INSIDE her refrigerator to remind her of her goal. It worked like a charm as the woman discovered that she had lost ten pounds in the first month of using this method. The downside to this was...

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2005 4:40 pm Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they fecided to get married. One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom. The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom w...

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2005 4:35 pm Medical Terminology for the Layman 1. ARTERY -- The study of fine paintings. 2. BARIUM -- What you do when CPR fails. 3. BENIGN -- What you are after you be 8. 4. CAESAREAN SECTION -- A district in Rome. 5. COLIC -- A sheep dog. 6. COMA -- A punctuation mark. 7. CONG...

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2005 4:34 pm Zen Thoughts 1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone. 2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire. 3. It'...

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2005 4:30 pm Heartless Things to Say in the Ladies Dressing Room 1. That's a bit expensive just for a dare isn't it? 2. I saw a dress just like that one in Woolworths yesterday. 3. Hey, get out of here you filthy pervert! Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were a man... 4. I had a dres...

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2005 4:27 pm Historical Tidbits 1. In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. That's where the phrase, "goodnight, sleep tight" came from. 2. It was the a...

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2005 4:25 pm How to be annoying 1. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way." 2. Drum on every available surface. 3. Sing the Batman theme incessantly. 4. Staple papers in the middle of the page. 5. Ask...

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2005 4:20 pm How to tell if it is going to be a rotten day 1. You wake up face down on the pavement. 2. You put your bra on backward and it fits better. 3. You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold. 4. You see a "60 Minutes" news team waiting in your office. ...

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2005 4:19 pm 1. "Last week I was in rough shape... Why? I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap." 2. "I come from a stupid family. During the Civil War my great Uncle fought for the west!" 3. "My father was stupid. He worked in a bank and t...

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2005 4:09 pm Greeting Cards You Will Never See in the Hallmark Store 1. Front: I heard you have gone deaf. Inside: I'll bet you didn't. 2. Front: I'm sorry to hear you have gone blind. Inside: See you later! 3. Front: I'm sorry to hear you are brain dead. Inside: It's really not ...

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2005 4:04 pm Fun Things to Do in an Elevator 1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off. 2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers. 3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of yo...

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2005 3:59 pm Famous Books Never Written 1. Twenty yards to the Out House by Willie Makit and illustrated by Betty Wont 2. The Yellow River by I.P. Daily 3. Over the mountaintop by Hugo First 4. The Nude Beach by Seymour Hair 5. The Nudist Colony by Seymour Skin 6. The Numbers Gam...

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2005 3:56 pm Inquiring Minds Want to Know Can you cry under water? How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches? Since bread is square, then why is sandwich ...

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2005 3:50 pm Evaluations For everyone who has ever had or given an evaluation - just remember, it could have been worse. These are actual quotes taken from Federal Government employee performance evaluations. 1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom an...