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by shatteredhopes
Sun Nov 01, 2009 9:31 pm
Forum: Living with Depression and other Related Health Concerns
Topic: I'm Sorry
Replies: 19
Views: 8571

I feel like I am garbage.
by shatteredhopes
Sun Nov 01, 2009 4:28 pm
Forum: Living with Depression and other Related Health Concerns
Topic: I'm Sorry
Replies: 19
Views: 8571

I haven't been able to eat since lunch yesterday.

As you know, with PTSD, sometimes our reactions are delayed. I surpress and surpress and try to carry on.

I don't know how to carry on anymore. Or why I should.
by shatteredhopes
Sun Nov 01, 2009 2:03 pm
Forum: Living with Depression and other Related Health Concerns
Topic: I'm Sorry
Replies: 19
Views: 8571

Thanks ((Ken))

I had two other forums I could go to, but he drove me off (intentionally, I think). I can't talk to the people in my life, they are worried sick about me. I am just trying to get through the day without harming myself and trying to avoid the hospital and trying to get some peer support...like group ...
by shatteredhopes
Sun Nov 01, 2009 12:58 pm
Forum: Living with Depression and other Related Health Concerns
Topic: I'm Sorry
Replies: 19
Views: 8571

Respectfully, I disagree

I write to get it out, but when I read others stuff, the slightest thing can upset me. Maybe I should stop posting, because I don't want to hurt anyone else...but I try to read others posts and know they don't mean to hurt me, and I just wanted to let others know I don't want to hurt them. I just wa...
by shatteredhopes
Sun Nov 01, 2009 11:28 am
Forum: Living with Depression and other Related Health Concerns
Topic: I'm Sorry
Replies: 19
Views: 8571

I'm Sorry

I'm sorry if I set anyone off mentioning my friends. I didn't mean harm, just as no one means harm to me when they mention pets or family. Truth is, one of my friends made it absolutely clear he wants a romance, and I can't handle it right now, and I'm afraid if I don't want a romance, he won't be m...
by shatteredhopes
Sun Nov 01, 2009 9:18 am
Forum: Living with Depression and other Related Health Concerns
Topic: A bad start
Replies: 11
Views: 4887

I think I've went that long too one time...

without washing my hair. BUT YOU DID IT! Don't beat yourself up because you can't face washing today. Plus, be grateful you can care for your kitty. I used to have pets, and they were my whole world, my family, my "children", often my only reason for living and getting up in the morning......
by shatteredhopes
Sat Oct 31, 2009 5:31 pm
Forum: Your Story
Topic: A LONG DAY ,GOODNIGHT ,FEEL WELL T,MORROW
Replies: 7
Views: 3963

Goodnight friend

I haven't been on this forum long, so I haven't read many of your posts, but noticed you always respond to me and make me feel welcome and cared for...so please don't feel bad about posting so much, especially given how much support you give to others. I know it helps me to get it out and I'm postin...
by shatteredhopes
Sat Oct 31, 2009 5:14 pm
Forum: Living with Depression and other Related Health Concerns
Topic: Discourged
Replies: 29
Views: 12131

Update

My mom called again today to invite me to lunch. This time I forced myself to go. I even put on make up, clean clothes. I could hardly talk through lunch, but my mom was okay with that and I did manage at the dessert buffet to chat with and smile at an elderly woman. It was really nice to have a goo...
by shatteredhopes
Sat Oct 31, 2009 2:15 pm
Forum: Living with Depression and other Related Health Concerns
Topic: Struggling to exist
Replies: 6
Views: 3353

ECHO ECHO ECHO: YOU HAVE MANY FRIENDS HERE SWEET PERSON

I can't speak for you, but I know I used to have many close friends...suffered some betrayals and my own issues drove some away and now I only have two close friends. IT IS HARD FOR ME TO TRUST AND LET PEOPLE IN TO MY DARK WORLD, I feel unworthy sometimes, don't want to be a burden, and hesistate to...
by shatteredhopes
Sat Oct 31, 2009 11:09 am
Forum: Living with Depression and other Related Health Concerns
Topic: A bad start
Replies: 11
Views: 4887

Please don't hate yourself...hate your disease...

because when I saw how compassionately you responded to me and my crises, the empathy, understanding, and love...I knew you were a special soul. In some people I have known, tragedy or serious illness like depression makes them more compassionate toward others and much more loving people. So importa...
by shatteredhopes
Sat Oct 31, 2009 10:42 am
Forum: Living with Depression and other Related Health Concerns
Topic: Discourged
Replies: 29
Views: 12131

Thanks ((ALL)) for responding

I got about 3 and a half hours sleep. Hard because I get mentally sicker when I don't sleep. My knees are still hurting. I take oral ibuprophen, use topical pain gels, and take hot soaks in the bath for relief. I took three baths yesterday just hoping the heat would help, but still much pain. I used...
by shatteredhopes
Sat Oct 31, 2009 1:11 am
Forum: Living with Depression and other Related Health Concerns
Topic: Discourged
Replies: 29
Views: 12131

Can't sleep and getting upset

Sleep is my only respite...but my knees hurt so badly I can't sleep. Once in a while the physical pain is so bad I can't sleep. Unfortunately, that leaves me alone with my thoughts in the late night. I fear I will never get well enough to make much of a difference in this world. There is so much I w...
by shatteredhopes
Fri Oct 30, 2009 8:27 pm
Forum: Living with Depression and other Related Health Concerns
Topic: Discourged
Replies: 29
Views: 12131

Thanks!

((Lisa)) unfortunately, walking is not an option for me today because of severe knee pain. But the cream cheese is a good suggestion! :) ((BlueisGreen)) He is very sick, too. I am fortunate that in my sick I have never wanted to harm anyone other than myself. I guess I cut him slack because of his s...
by shatteredhopes
Fri Oct 30, 2009 6:55 pm
Forum: Expressions
Topic: confused about my feelings
Replies: 20
Views: 10308

Hello

I don't know where you live, but in the U.S. in some places there are community services and free clinics and low cost providers you might be able to find to see someone initially. Maybe you could qualify for a fee reduction or government program you might not even know exists...such as medicare cov...
by shatteredhopes
Fri Oct 30, 2009 6:21 pm
Forum: Living with Depression and other Related Health Concerns
Topic: Discourged
Replies: 29
Views: 12131

((Ken))

I don't know what you feel you've done to deserve severe mental illness "demons" but in the states we have a concept of "cruel and unusual punishment." Just as I did something wrong or annoying that angered the one who beat me, I DIDN'T DESERVE A BEATING. Whatever you've done, wh...

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