My Thoughts

Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.

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mapz
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Feb 12, 2019 2:00 pm

My Thoughts

Postby mapz » Wed Feb 13, 2019 1:37 am

I have a problem keeping my relationships
I fall in love easily
But I also fall out of love fast
I wonder if it’s really love all along
I say I can take care of myself
But deep inside
I also want someone who will take care of me

someone.
Posts: 17
Joined: Wed Jan 23, 2019 11:47 am

Re: My Thoughts

Postby someone. » Wed Feb 13, 2019 4:55 am

mapz wrote:I have a problem keeping my relationships
I fall in love easily
But I also fall out of love fast
I wonder if it’s really love all along
I say I can take care of myself
But deep inside
I also want someone who will take care of me

I understand. thats why id rather be alone most of the time. sure it gets lonely but I feel like theres no 'love' anymore. I feel like everyone just likes the idea of love and the idea of being with someone in general, instead of loving the person. they love that they're not alone . and at the end it just ends horribly. so whats the point of 'love'? it sucks tho... being alone.

BenV
Posts: 17
Joined: Mon Oct 15, 2018 8:24 pm

Re: My Thoughts

Postby BenV » Wed Feb 13, 2019 10:52 pm

I'm a bit of the reverse. It takes a little while for me to fall in love. But I never can seem to let go after it is over. But I think that is an extension of how I am. When I make a real friend I am willing to hold onto those friendships too.

mapz
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Feb 12, 2019 2:00 pm

Re: My Thoughts

Postby mapz » Sat Feb 16, 2019 3:33 pm

‘The idea of being with someone’, is probably right.I keep on searching for something I’m not sure about, so I tend to settle on things that I don’t really like to fill in the emptiness I feel. But in the end, nothing satisfies me beacause I don’t really know what I want.

bluerose391
Posts: 8
Joined: Fri Mar 08, 2019 7:48 am

Re: My Thoughts

Postby bluerose391 » Fri Mar 08, 2019 8:34 am

Agatha Christie while writing her autobio, described herself in one chapter. She said that she liked cheese but not milk, chocklate but not cake, her fav flowers, colours cats dogs etc . She wrote a long list of her likes and dislikes etc. She was afraid of public speaking. Then she wrote this:" Even though I know today is tuesday, if somebody tells me more than 3 times that today is wednesday, I will believe that today is wednesday and proceed to work accordingly". that is a pretty candid admission for a woman who was a celebrity and that too at the age of about 80. She published her autobio towards her death so I believe that she was aprrox 80 when she wrote this. A lot of people are like this. Infact the majority population is like this but they do not know it.
One thing I know is that I am exactly the opposite of agatha christie. I would never believe some lie even if God were to tell me that.
As far as my own likes are concerned, my favourite flower is and always was Rose. Roses of red and blue color. I do not like tea, milk and eggs. But I do eat eggs and drink milk. I like coffee. My favourite fruit is jackfruit. I love its smell. I do not like cats or dogs and per se would like to stay away from all animals. I am also not a plant lover. I do not have any fav colors. I watch a lot of movies and love good music. I am a bit of a painter and a bit of a writer. I love kids and my childhood goal was to create beautiful home for orphaned kids. It was and is still a goal for me even though I realize that I cannot do it. My fav food is always Indian and esp south Indian. I do not like european or American food. I do not like chinese or thai food. I can never be a cook. I am not a sportsperson but I admire them a lot. I hate politics. I do not like Barak Obama. I like donald Trump much better. The one politican I actually like very much Is Macron.
The only friends that I have are from my profession. I am a diehard loner and introvert. I do not like speaking. I am terrrified of public speaking. I am a good teacher. I would love to teach but unfortunately have no teaching experience. For the last 5 years I have been trying to get a teacher's post. But without any experience you are useless. So I studied a lot. But these things do not work for you if you start at 50. I suppose I should have taught at the begining of my career.
I am a workaholic and would like to immerse my head in my work and forget the world. If left alone, I would rather do scientific experiments and read research papers. that is what I know and that I what I can do. My heart does not beat for anything else.
Last edited by bluerose391 on Sat Mar 09, 2019 12:10 am, edited 1 time in total.

bluerose391
Posts: 8
Joined: Fri Mar 08, 2019 7:48 am

Re: My Thoughts

Postby bluerose391 » Fri Mar 08, 2019 8:36 am

mapz wrote:I have a problem keeping my relationships
I fall in love easily
But I also fall out of love fast
I wonder if it’s really love all along
I say I can take care of myself
But deep inside
I also want someone who will take care of me



It is a phase, it will pass. It is normal to have such thoughts.

Sadinatura
Posts: 44
Joined: Mon Mar 04, 2019 6:26 pm

Re: My Thoughts

Postby Sadinatura » Fri Mar 08, 2019 3:03 pm

Whoever said it is a phase dont ever say that again. You couldnt imagine what they could be going through.

Writer, you'll find love soon.

bluerose391
Posts: 8
Joined: Fri Mar 08, 2019 7:48 am

Re: My Thoughts

Postby bluerose391 » Sat Mar 09, 2019 12:14 am

BenV wrote:I'm a bit of the reverse. It takes a little while for me to fall in love. But I never can seem to let go after it is over. But I think that is an extension of how I am. When I make a real friend I am willing to hold onto those friendships too.




some of it is due to your age. after an age you would find it easy to let go.


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