I feel like dying

Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.

Moderators: windsong, cj-, BlueGobi, Moderators, Frame

Plzhelpmeimdying
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Jan 23, 2019 4:16 pm

I feel like dying

Postby Plzhelpmeimdying » Wed Jan 23, 2019 4:50 pm

Hey everyone who is reading this. There are a lot of people in this website who need help and I feel selfish for writing here because I feel like that there is no actual reason for me to be sad. Nothing has happened to me. I've just been depressed for as long as I can remember. I have eating disorders too and I can't survive a day sober. I need something, anything is fine from alcohol to drugs. I would do anything to make this numbness to go away. This feeling of fatness and ugliness and sadness. I'm so distant with all my relatives and family members. My friends too, I only have contact with the one's who are as f***** up as I am myself. And they don't know anything about me. I smile and pretend that I'm happy everyday. I feel so lonely. I feel like i'm so selfish if I talk with anyone. I can't go to school anymore. I can't get out of bed. I can't clean myself or my house. I don't know how to care about anything or anyone anymore. I love sex but it doesn't interest me anymore. I would give anything that it would. I love my friends and I feel terrible I don't know how they're doing. Everyone has problems why would mine be bigger than others'.Big enough to bother other people's lives? No way I'm not that important. I cut and I'm so ready to end this for all. I'm so happy if you read this and sorry to bother you with my problems. Please be well <3

RustyTavern
Posts: 58
Joined: Fri Jul 13, 2018 7:15 pm

Re: I feel like dying

Postby RustyTavern » Wed Jan 23, 2019 6:52 pm

Plzhelpmeimdying wrote:Hey everyone who is reading this. There are a lot of people in this website who need help and I feel selfish for writing here because I feel like that there is no actual reason for me to be sad. Nothing has happened to me. I've just been depressed for as long as I can remember. I have eating disorders too and I can't survive a day sober. I need something, anything is fine from alcohol to drugs. I would do anything to make this numbness to go away. This feeling of fatness and ugliness and sadness. I'm so distant with all my relatives and family members. My friends too, I only have contact with the one's who are as f***** up as I am myself. And they don't know anything about me. I smile and pretend that I'm happy everyday. I feel so lonely. I feel like i'm so selfish if I talk with anyone. I can't go to school anymore. I can't get out of bed. I can't clean myself or my house. I don't know how to care about anything or anyone anymore. I love sex but it doesn't interest me anymore. I would give anything that it would. I love my friends and I feel terrible I don't know how they're doing. Everyone has problems why would mine be bigger than others'.Big enough to bother other people's lives? No way I'm not that important. I cut and I'm so ready to end this for all. I'm so happy if you read this and sorry to bother you with my problems. Please be well <3


If you've always been depressed then how on earth would you know?
Think: key word "always" & a scale between happy <-> depression

What a twat!

Suzi
Posts: 43
Joined: Tue Jun 06, 2017 9:33 am

Re: I feel like dying

Postby Suzi » Thu Jan 24, 2019 10:19 am

I am so sorry you're having a hard time. And don't apologize for sharing what's going on. Getting things all out in the open is the first step in healing. Have you talked to anyone about your cutting and eating disorders? There are caring counselors at 855-382-5433 who can help you . Also, this link has been helpful to me: https://bit.ly/2xLVQVZ
I hope you are able to finding healing and hope.

tlf777
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Jul 31, 2017 7:17 am

Re: I feel like dying

Postby tlf777 » Sun Jan 27, 2019 8:30 pm

I'm sorry you have felt you are going through this as a lifelong balance. I can't promise it will ever stop, but I can promise there is hope and healing enough to make life worth living. I have to force myself to interact with people, it has never came easily for me. I talk myself of out quite a bit. What I've learned is that community isn't found, it is forged. No one has a perfect narrative...you just have to be brave enough to take off your mask, and allow others to do the same.

You are loved. Please keep posting.


Return to “Your Story”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 6 guests