People who recovered: How did you do it?

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Drea
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Nov 18, 2018 4:54 pm

People who recovered: How did you do it?

Postby Drea » Mon Nov 26, 2018 9:48 pm

Hi. First time posting on this board. The short version of my story is that I was in a relationship with someone who went through a traumatic event that completely changed him. I tried very hard for a very long time to help -- it was incredibly scary and stressful -- and in the end he pushed me away. It's been months since we last spoke but I still think about him every day. He was suicidal; I have no idea how he is doing now, there was absolutely zero closure, and that all completely tears me apart.

I noticed over the past year and a half or so that the the feelings I was feeling were not just sadness, worry or stress. I'm experiencing depression and anxiety to the point that I can't get out of bed. My personality and my outlook have completely changed. It's something that consumes me every waking hour, every day. I recognize the signs. There is this very heavy weight on my chest that won't go away. I have good days every once in a while but those are fleeting.

My job keeps me very busy so I've only spoken with a therapist online before. That was okay, but I'm still feeling how I feel. I have Ativan for anxiety and have not taken anything regularly for depression. I have found that doing cardio can sometimes elevate my mood for a few hours, sometimes into the next day, but getting to a gym is a mountain to climb some days. I have wonderful friends I can talk to about anything, but at this point I feel like I've said the same thing over and over.

I'm wondering: For those of you who have managed to pull yourself out of this, how did you do it? What made you feel better, whether it be temporarily or somewhat permanently?

littlestarsmum
Posts: 81
Joined: Tue May 16, 2017 11:36 pm

Re: People who recovered: How did you do it?

Postby littlestarsmum » Mon Nov 26, 2018 10:50 pm

Welcome to this forum, Drea.
I’m so sorry to hear about your struggles. I appreciate your willingness to help your loved one. I know it’s not easy to go through depression and anxiety. These are very complex issues that deserve personal and in-depth attention. In situation like yours, I believe there is no substitute for one-on-one interaction with a caring professional counselor/therapist. I’d suggest that you get help soon. I just said a prayer for you, and I hope God will surround you with His comfort and provide the strength and help you need at this time. Remember that you deserve to feel better and you don’t need to carry your burdens alone. You can always come here to share and I’m sure you’ll find a lot of help and support. Stay strong. Hugs!

RustyTavern
Posts: 58
Joined: Fri Jul 13, 2018 7:15 pm

Re: People who recovered: How did you do it?

Postby RustyTavern » Tue Dec 04, 2018 11:20 am

Realise that the meaning of life is not to have a goal to be happy but rather a goal to handle strife. If you like 'God' is actually a devil. Indeed if God were traditional, then wouldn't it being hinting at the humbleness he advocates? Consider that if there were a devil, then of course, he would present himself as a goodly God. Yet all God's teachings hint at evil: smite; drink the blood; punishment; plagues/floods etc.

Realise that we're all playing in this game so we need to become masters.

The top of every hill gives a enables perspective

Jtw
Posts: 65
Joined: Sat Mar 02, 2019 9:58 pm

Re: People who recovered: How did you do it?

Postby Jtw » Sat Mar 02, 2019 11:48 pm

For a long time, I beat this. How I did it, I changed my life. I know it sounds like a cliche, but I just abandoned my horrible, dreadful, crushingly awful existence and left it behind.
It wasn't easy. It took a long time, it took a lot of work but I did it.

It's gone wrong again now but I know it's a response to a horrible situation and it's temporary. I also know that I have it in me to beat this. Everyone does.

bluerose391
Posts: 8
Joined: Fri Mar 08, 2019 7:48 am

Re: People who recovered: How did you do it?

Postby bluerose391 » Fri Mar 08, 2019 8:30 am

HI, I am a 51 year old woman living in India. I am single and not ready to mingle. I am a PhD.

I am writing about my struggles with spying and secret harrassment. I was on suicide point for several years but now going firmly in the opposite direction.
However I have not joined this site because I am want to commit suicide. The opposite is the truth. I will never commit suicide come what may. I want to talk about some reasons why people commit suicide. I want to expose some secrets. I want to point at certain things people do not know.

Since last 30 years somebody has consistently spied on me and played tricks with my life. I was severely harrassed using secret methods. My computer, mobile and TV are under the control of an outsider, most probabley a machine. This machine has 3 components- AI, mind reading, and microwave weapons. These 3 things constitute a highly deadly and advanced technology which totaly controlls all aspects of my life. These have beein used to create panic inside me for the last 30 years. somebody has played a clever game of deception with me. he fools me with various tricks. he has planned my tommorows.
A lot of people have harrassed me on the road and scared me stiff. for a long time I was afraid of walking on roads. A lot of psychological tricks have been played on me by the common public. A lot of neighbours have also consistently hararssed me. There has been an organized, deep rooted and systematic attack on me.Whatever my resoponse is, AI is being used to plan a counter attack. I am up against a mixture of humans+AI+ mind reading + microwave weapons. Microwave wepoans make loud noise on your roof intemintantly. For a long time I thought a man was making this noise. It is only last year I have learnt that it was being made by a machine. So tight was this spying machine. It behaved just as a human. Whereever you go in yoir house, it follows you there. It is extremely deadly and painful.

There is an involvement of a system in this. It is not one person. It is a sytem consisting of professionals, strangers, neighbours and machines. there is a networking of different people and also spying devices like phones, computers, AI. All these are mixed togather in this. How can one person do all this? This requires a lot of professional knowledge, something similar to a police organization. I am alive now and I am saying this. It is not one person. There is a lot of programming. Not a computer programming. But a programming of humans. It is also very tightly controlled. They do not make mistakes. They are better and superior than police. That is why police can never catch them. I had made a complaint in 2007, at that time police had told me that they could not find anything. Though It was being done very heavily. For example One day in 2015, I was standing on the side of a road. At that time, I saw a man who was a spy. I decided to take his photograph. So I secretly clicked his photograph. I was standing right in front of him within about half a metre distance. On reaching home I checked my camera, I found theere was no picture of the man, only of trees and sky. How did this happen? When I clicked the photo, there was no tree or sky between me and the man. So there is use of AI. It is a professional group, not a gang of indivuidual spies. it is very sytematic. It is very thorough. I know what i am saying.

One thing I have learnt is that police will never undestand what harrassment is. There is a simple reason for that. It has never happened to them. For somebody to understand harrassment, it has to happen to them. But once it does happen to them, they stop talking to people and shut themselves in their homes. So your complaint will not go to them. They will not be working. Those who are working have obviously not been harrassed, that is why they are working. So there is an if and but situation there.

My old laptop does weird things all the time. One year back it would not work for six months. I tried a lot of stuff to make it work but it never came on. After 6 months, it started working on its own without anybody repairing it. I did not even tell anybody about it. So these things keep on happening with me. Same things happen to my phone and TV. They work only if an outsider wants them to. They have become instruments of harrasment. They make me very angry most of the time. But sometimes they also work beautifully. For example, my old laptop always frustrated me without fail and would not work. sometimes an email would not open for 5 minutes. To just check one email I had to spend 2 hours. But nowadays for the last 10 days My old laptop is not giving me any problems. It is working beautifully. I can quickly check and send emails. So I am also utilizing this time to get lot of work done. Just sending a lot of job applications. I am doing a lot of work on the laptop while it lasts.

I have a neighbour living in flat 204. They have this habit of banging their door in the night. At around 10 pm they will bang their door loudly 3-4 times. It was very painful to bear becasue I have been bomabraded by extreme noise for the last 25 years. I have beocme very sensitive to noise. I have accepted the fact that they cannot shut their door without making noise. But for the last 10 or 15 days they are actually not banging anymore! Surpirses!! That means they know how to close their door slowly.

Everwhere I have lived, my next door neighbour was always making huge noise, sometimes banging doors, sometimes talking in a loud voice, sometimes lot of activity outside the door, children screaming continously etc etc.

The microwave wepaon in my house is no longer making loud noises. for the 15 days it has gone silent almost. The change is very drastic. Whenver it makes noise it is very painful. It makes you jump and scream. I simply want to kill that person who is responsible. It can alter your moods drastically.but when it does not make sound, it is very relieving. For the last 15 days, I am enjoying this calmness. It is heavenly.

In 2008, I had a woman neighbour who used to live flat S3 in a very far off city. My flat was S2 and opposite to her. She was around 35. She had a son who was around 10-12 years old. I did not know this woman at all and had nothing to do with her. She would talk once in awhile with me whenver I went out, just like Hi Bye types, nothing serious. Whenever I was planning to go out and started dressing, around that time, I used to hear very loud noise of somebody talking outside the flat. This woman would talk in a very loud voise through mobile. As long as I was inside my flat, this loud noise used to come in. After I finsihed dressing and collected my bags etc, I used to step outside. At that time I noticed that the woman was S3. She was standing near her door and continously talking loudly for 30 minutes. Strangely when you are talking on a mobile phone, there is another perosn on the other side. It appeared that that person was not doing any talking. S3 was doing all the talking continously. Till I went out of the building, I heard this monologue nonstop. However On days that I did not go out, I did not hear her talking. It happened all the time without fail. It started getting on my nerves becasue her talking was vey loud.As long as i was preparing to go out, this loud noise continued uninterrupted. But as soon as I was out of the building her talk also stopped. one day after going out of the building, i suddenly returned and found out that she was no longer standing outside and talking. he talks only as long as I was around.
Many times when I was inside my flat, I heard loud noise from the roof. As if somebody was hammering with a rock. but on roof there was no flat, just an empty terrace. So why would anybody make any noise on the terrace. It used to disturb me. Many times the sound came when I was changing my dress. I thought that somebody was watching me through a camera. One day when the sounds started coming, I decided to check it. I locked my flat and went out. I found that at that particular momenet, S3 was standing outside the flat and staring at me. I climbed the stairs and went to the terrace. I saw that S3's son was sitting on the terrace and hitting with a brick. he was not doing anything just hitting the terrace with a brick. I told him to stop it. I came back to my flat. After for two three weeks thre was no noise but later on it again started.
Sometimes when I went out I saw that S3 also went out at the same time. When I returned, S3 also returned at the same time. This woman behaved in a fanatical manner. As if she was posseessed. She was terribly interested in me and used to aggressively spread rumors about me. But there was nothing between us. She used to carry on one sided attacks on me. But she also used to talk politely with me. She seemed in a great hurry. But she was not working. the whole day she could be found in her flat, the door being open and she either talking on the phone or talking to somebody in her house.
This kind of aggressive fanatical behaviour I have seen repeatedly by my neighbours. somebody or the other would show the same behaviour. No matter where I lived. I changed house 10 times in the last 10 years. Everywhere the neighbour showed the same beahviour. I lived in diffeent states and diffeent cities. Everywhere this pattern continued.
Infact whenever I went to a public place, suddenly a man would come near me and start talking rapidly and loudly on his mobile phone. In post office, markets, shops and also roads etc this used to happen. I got very irritated.

There was a lot of harrassment on roads. Many strangers used to make circles around me with bikes, many tried to hit me with bikes. even if went from the very side of the road, many bikers (30) would drive almost touching me.

Once when I went to the bank, I found that the network was not working there. On enquiry, I was told that it would come back only after 3 hours. I did not want to return home and then come back again. I had urgent work in the bank. so I stayed in the bank for 3 hours. after 4 hours the network returned. then I could get my work done. Then I went home. After 3 - 4 days I noticed that my computer was behaving strangely. I relized that while i was in the bank, somebody had entered my home and put a chip inside my computer. This sort of thing used to happen to me many times. Something would go wrong in the bank and then I would not be able to return home within 2 hours and at that time some miscreant woiuld enter my house and tampere with my computer, TV, water filter etc. Now who can do this? Okay entering my house is easy becasue I am a common man, but disconnecting the network in the bank? that too when I went to the bank? One individual cannot do this. This need to be organized. An organization is responsible.

I have learnt that somebody wants to set-up my life and project me as a joker. He has already made a joke of my life. I have made a resolution that I will never commit suicide.no matter what. but restarting life seems very immpossible. I am extremely unsure, suspicious and afraid. My enmies are very desperate to make me mad and they have done very drastic things to me. Things that you would not normally do to another person. anything goes as long as no one is looking. Some friends of mine sudenly died. I am now afraid of talking to my friends becasue I am afraid they might die. so I i have stopped talking to lot of people.

many times when I think about it, I feell like I do not know what to do or how to go about it. At other times, I just go out and do my work and pretend to be happy. The road based harrassment has decreased. so I am able to go out and do my work. In the last 4-5 years I have restarted going out a lot and have got a lot of work done. The governemnt in my state is very pro-people. the police is quick and responsive. that is a very big positive factor because now criminals also think twice before trying something.
However my enemies do ocasionally reach me and give me hints of vey tight spying. they want to keep me under pressure always. they want me to think of them.
My parents are 80 year old. i live with them. They are mixed with my enemies. Both of them told me lot of lies in the past 6 years and fooled me. My mother kept on breaking a lot of stuff in the house and I was always running to market to buy them. Sometimes a tap, a shoe, a spoon, a knife, a doorbell, a towel et etc. It made me very angry. I cannot understand why a 80 year old woman would do that. Even while talking they try to make me very angry, saying some stupid lie all the time. Both of them are very desp to stop me from working but I do not know why. They both seem to know about these microwave wepoans. It is surprising that a 80 year person who is not that educated would be aware of microwave weapons but police is not. I myself am not. How is it they know so many things which the police do not know. I know that they themselves do not know but somebody is telling them. Somebody is giving them orders on a daily basis and they are obeying without asking any questions. this somebody is keeping the gun on their shoulders and firing. somebody wants the blame to fall on my parents. Somebody wants to make a tamasha of my life.
So there is a lot of paradox in this story. I know I will never ever know the real truth. The fact is that corporates are playing a deadly game with ordinary people. I decided to dig this a long time back. I have done a lot of digging. But it takes a toll on your life. I have come this far but cannot go any further.


From all these things you can make out that my case is a special or unique case. it is not a typical harrassmnet case. it is different from others. But there are others too to whom this has been done for example Fiza, Kamala Das etc. It is my theory that it is happening for a certain reason. what is that reason, I have no idea.

Three years back, US diplomats working in Havana, Cuba, were attacked by sonic vibrations. Some 20 officers heard disturbing noises in their office. they complained to their govt. the govt recalled them. then the US govt set up a committee to examine the causes. It was decided to let a medical collge examine the diplomats in detail and find out the truth. Accordingly, A neurophysiology dept in a reputed Hospital was assigned this job. the docters examined the diplomats in detail, brain damage, memory loss, hearing loss, psychological damages etc etc. were studied in detail. After this the findings were published in a paper. The Paper is : "Swansen R. L. et al, 2018, JAMA, 319:1125."
According to this paper, all the officers heard a disturbing noise, they could not locate the source of the sound, it was not a hallucination. It was a real thing. This noise caused memory loss, brain damage, hearing loss, psychological problems. It also impacted their working and they were afraid of working. So the officers were given treatment in the hospital. After treatemnt most of the officers were able to work. one did not return to work.
This is a very remarkable piece of work. It proves the existence of microwave wepaons and their effects. It proves that it is not a hallucination or a lie. It also proves that microwave weapons hamper your ability to work.
But there are also some questions:
1. How did Cuba get its hands on such microwave wepaons?
2. Why did US govt not ask any questions to Cuba?
3. If Cuba, which is a poor, developing country could get these wepoans, how is it possible that US does not have them? How is it possible that US does not know about them? That is highly unbelievable. Anything that Cuba gets, US is likely to have got 100 years back.
4. How is it that US govt has not made any statements about this in the UN about this?
5. How is it that a lot of people in US have written books about this topic but the govt itself seems to be ignorant. How is it that wikipedia and internet are full of articles about this but all governemnets are totally silent. All this is not fake news. Why is the media also not making any noise?????

HopeIsReal
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Mar 30, 2019 10:58 pm

Re: People who recovered: How did you do it?

Postby HopeIsReal » Sat Mar 30, 2019 11:19 pm

Hi there!

I would like to share some hope with you all:

I believe in the one true God.
In the beginning God created the heavens,
Earth, and man. He said it was good, but
Man chose to do things their own way and sinned. And sin separates us from God.
In the Bible God shows how He still loves us even when we sin.
So God sent His one and only son, Jesus to come to earth.
Jesus was fully God and fully man. Jesus never sinned,
He lived a perfect life. When Jesus was on the earth
He healed the sick, cast out demons & raised the dead.
After that Jesus not only lived for us, but He died for us.
When He died on the cross He died for all the sins of
Humanity. In three days He rose from the dead. When
We choose Jesus we can live a life of freedom.
Now we are not separated from God anymore.

John 3:16-17
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.

Sadinatura
Posts: 55
Joined: Mon Mar 04, 2019 6:26 pm

Re: People who recovered: How did you do it?

Postby Sadinatura » Tue Apr 23, 2019 11:18 am

There's no such thing as recovery. It just goes away and stores for later.

KimmyO
Posts: 17
Joined: Mon Sep 18, 2017 9:10 pm

Re: People who recovered: How did you do it?

Postby KimmyO » Wed May 01, 2019 11:53 am

I'm so sorry. It is hard to be there for one in depression without it rubbing off a bit and with no closure it can haunt one. I don't know if it would help or hurt to reach out to him and see if he's better or not. Maybe thru a third party, find out for closure. Definitely talking w a counselor is good, maybe a church near you or your work might have one that is free, many do, and it helps plus their time schedule is usually more flexible.
Another thing that helps a lot! is taking magnesium malate and ginseng, they calm the mind body and spirit and get rid of sticky negative thoughts that loop. They have helped many! Malate is the best type of magnesium because it is most bio available and a better quality.
Also, take time for you, even if it's a squeeze. Take a class or join a group. Cardio is good too, maybe make it an outside walk with a friend to take care of your outside time, exercise and social at same time.
Lastly, maybe get into volunteering, even online, to help others who aren't so close to you it tears you up. Helping others helps us. Best to you, I know you can overcome this and use your knowledge to help others too! <3

rooce
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Jun 04, 2019 2:24 pm

Re: People who recovered: How did you do it?

Postby rooce » Tue Jun 04, 2019 3:56 pm

Sadinatura wrote:There's no such thing as recovery. It just goes away and stores for later.

Sadinatura - I feel the same way. eventhough i am hoping there is someone out there who can truely tell me that they are fully recovered.
How do we get out of this cycle?

Sadinatura
Posts: 55
Joined: Mon Mar 04, 2019 6:26 pm

Re: People who recovered: How did you do it?

Postby Sadinatura » Wed Jun 05, 2019 12:27 pm

Rooce, I have no idea. Time? I am trying this summer to focus myself on work and other things to keep myself preoccupied than becoming severely depressed over the summer. I think the best thing for me to do is distract myself for the time being and continue going to counseling. Would you like to pm with me? I think we could really connect together with talking. Stay strong.
-Inatura.


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