My boyfriend when he's deeply depressed pushes everyone away and ignores texts and calls

Depression/anxiety may have touched your family, your friends, yourself; what helps you to deal with it? Sharing is caring!

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HeatherTerwilliger
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Nov 05, 2018 12:02 pm

My boyfriend when he's deeply depressed pushes everyone away and ignores texts and calls

Postby HeatherTerwilliger » Mon Nov 05, 2018 7:09 pm

I've been with my bfs for over a year and a half now and he's a great guy. I love our time together no matter what we do. He treats me great and we love each other and respect each other. Now he warned me that he was like this in the beginning. Stating that he's been like this since high school and when he does it he pushes everyone away! Everyone he really elaborated! Now he's only done this a couple times and this time seems to be the worse. I want to understand where he's coming from more so I don't take it personally. I want to know what I can do to help him. I want to love him through this. Help please

RustyTavern
Posts: 39
Joined: Fri Jul 13, 2018 7:15 pm

Re: My boyfriend when he's deeply depressed pushes everyone away and ignores texts and calls

Postby RustyTavern » Mon Nov 05, 2018 8:04 pm

Your boyfriend wants to leave you but at the current time the sex (though quality has decayed severely) is too good for him to give up. So he's staying for sex but planning to leave you.

HeatherTerwilliger
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Nov 05, 2018 12:02 pm

Re: My boyfriend when he's deeply depressed pushes everyone away and ignores texts and calls

Postby HeatherTerwilliger » Mon Nov 05, 2018 8:23 pm

@RustyTavern you have the right to your opinion but I disagree with you. He's a very blunt in your face guy. Also a very private guy and I know his kids and am around them all the time. This is just a phase he goes through every once in a while. I know he loves me bc he says it and shows it. Nothing between us has changed other than he's having a hard time with his head and depression.

baileyf14
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2018 12:41 pm

Re: My boyfriend when he's deeply depressed pushes everyone away and ignores texts and calls

Postby baileyf14 » Fri Nov 09, 2018 1:54 pm

Depression is a very difficult thing to deal with and I am so sorry that your boyfriend is going through it. The best thing to do is to always be there for him whenever he needs it. Just make sure that you let him know that you are there for him. Have you tried to get him to seek professional help from a doctor or a therapist? That can be very helpful with depression! I hope everything gets better.

BenV
Posts: 11
Joined: Mon Oct 15, 2018 8:24 pm

Re: My boyfriend when he's deeply depressed pushes everyone away and ignores texts and calls

Postby BenV » Fri Nov 09, 2018 9:12 pm

I have great difficulty showing weakness toward my wife. That old fashioned code of honor that the man is supposed to be strong, the protector, the defender. So when my depression rears its ugly head I retreat from my wife rather than reach toward her for support.
I think part of the issue is also the fact my wife really can't relate to what I am feeling and going through. It is so much easier talking to fellow depressives.
My wife is pretty understanding but I know it wears on her at times.

Does your boyfriend know anyone that has depression that he might be able to turn to for support? Has he seen a doctor?
Don't take it personally that you aren't able to fix everything for him. My moods can change day to day, hour to hour. One day I'm fine listening to a song and the next day the same song can bring me to tears. Almost impossible for any significant other to adjust to such rapid fluctuations. Be near but be willing to keep your distance. He needs to know you are there, even if he isn't able to let you close.

It is up to you to find if you can deal with all of this. Don't feel bad if you can't, it is a lot to ask. But you can't sacrifice yourself. You can't ruin your physical health caring for his mental health.

Hopefully the two of you can work through this.

HeatherTerwilliger
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Nov 05, 2018 12:02 pm

Re: My boyfriend when he's deeply depressed pushes everyone away and ignores texts and calls

Postby HeatherTerwilliger » Fri Nov 09, 2018 9:18 pm

Thank you that helps a lot I will keep this all in mind...


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