Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.
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Growing up, my dad and I never really got along. We would always argue and sometimea things got so bad, I remember sitting in my room wishing I had a different family. (I would go to his house on weekends) When I told my therapist about this, she said she thinks my dad is verbally abusive. At first, it surprised me but as I thought about it more, it made sense because my dad and I never had a good relationship. Then I started thinking about wether or not the fact that ive been diagnosed with depression had anything to do with my father. I searched it up online and found out that verbally abusive parents can cause low self esteem, depression, a bad social life, aloofness towards others, etc. I looked at several sources and a lot of the effects had to do with my condition. I always found it difficult to make friends, I have depression, I feel as though I get no enjoyment from talking or being friends with others, I feel very distant with others (for example, if I never saw any of my family, friends, or pets I would not be sad at all) Right know I'm 14, in high school, and I haven't talked to my dad in about 2 months. I feel as though a physically can't be social, like going out of my way to talk or make friends feels more like a chore than a fun activity. It's really hard to enjoy school when all you enjoy is being alone. A few weeks ago, I stopped going to therapy, I don't think it'll help. Any comments on the situation? Right now life just feels like a repeating cycle and I'm very lost.
Ms. Sheep, I am really sorry you feel this way. I understand the feeling of meeting friends/people is more like a chore than fun. Try to do a few things that make you happy and that you look forward to. I think the best thing for you is to focus on yourself and put your health first. I really do hope that you feel better and find someone to bring you comfort. I wish you the best!
I'm sorry to read how you are feeling. It would be great if there was a simple and quick solution to depression. If you have been seeing this therapist for a while and you don't think the therapy is working, instead of giving up on therapy completely, try someone else. You can also speak with your school counselor on a regular basis. High school was a tough time for me as well (long long time ago). I was never good at making small talk or starting conversations or anything like that. Looking back, if I had become more involved in different activities and/or clubs at school, that probably would have helped me more. You don't have to throw yourself at people to try and make friends, let it happen naturally. If you are involved with a specific school club and/or playing a sport either inside or outside of school, you are already in a situation where you are around people with similar interests. Right there is half the issue eliminated because you know they share the same interests as you. As you continue participating in the activity or sport, the relationships will develop without you having to do too much. You have to embrace it though and not be afraid to be yourself. For me, I have a hard time starting a conversation but once I start (especially about something I am passionate about), its hard to get me to stop. Smiling is something else you can do to that can make a world of difference in your life and someone else's. There are days I go to work and I don't want to be bothered with anyone but I still find the strength to say 'good morning' and smile when I speak to others. Just that little action will let people know that you are approachable and friendly. Take things one day at a time. Sorry about your relationship with your dad. I wasn't too close with my dad growing up either but we are really close today. Even though I'm an adult, I am still "his little girl". Don't worry, people change. Even if your dad's verbal abuse and anger contributed to your depression, it doesn't have to continue that way. You can unlearn and recondition your mind to think differently which is why you should try to see a different therapist. Good luck to you!
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