Best friend in a deep depression.

Depression/anxiety may have touched your family, your friends, yourself; what helps you to deal with it? Sharing is caring!

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Joined: Tue Oct 02, 2018 6:39 pm

Best friend in a deep depression.

Postby ConfusedAnonymous » Tue Oct 02, 2018 7:08 pm

Let's start with me sayin that this is going to be rly long, so grab a cup of tea and make yourself comfy.

There's that guy, he's my best friend for two years now.
We've been through a lot, pretty much all of the time we've known each other we spent talking, playing games and doing random stuff that we really enjoyed.
I actually fell in love with him a while ago, but it's a different story.
The point is, he told me that he's dealing with some serious sh*t lately. He feels absolutely useless, he keeps saying that everyone would be so much happier if he'd just die already.
He has a lot of good people around him, including his girlfriend (I probably won't ever earn this status, which sucks, but well), but I can't make him see that.
His family is abusing him and he's been hurt by a lot of kids when he was younger. I found out about a few things from his friends, cause he just didn't want to tell me, so I guess there's much more going on than I think.
He somehow managed to start thinking that he doesn't need or/and deserve anyone. Every time when I say I wanna help him, that he just have to talk to me, explain me what's going on inside of his head, he's just either "I don't expect you to help me, you don't have to, these are my problems" or he's starting to be really quiet and he won't answer my questions.
Even though he didn't tell me about some stuff I know, he said that from all of people I'm the only one that knows how bad it is actually. Even his girlfriend ain't aware.
We've been arguing lately, cause he's destroying me with his rejection of my help. I'm starting to blame myself, cause I'm pushing him too hard, and I realise that, but I'm just so, so, so worried. I can't lose him, and if we won't talk about it, I'm pretty sure I will.
I won't make him go see a therapist, I won't make him talk to me or someone else. He just keeps complaining about that, like he truly needs my help. Any help.
I've cried while we talked a few times. He always says that he's so sorry, that he made me cry and he feels even worse about that. I'm always saying that it's not his fault, that I just don't know how to help him, but I think he kinda blames himself for that.

I want to help him, but I can't say when I'm crossing the line. I've repeated myself a thousand times, and he just keeps ignoring that.

I am aware that there's much, much more things that I don't know about, but I've decided to help him one way or another.
I know how bad it feels to be left behind, completely alone with your feelings, and I'm not gonna do that to him. Or to anyone else.

Please, I'm gonna appreciate every single advice, I'm totally lost, I don't know what to do.

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Joined: Tue Mar 20, 2018 10:05 pm

Re: Best friend in a deep depression.

Postby foreverbeach11 » Fri Oct 05, 2018 12:28 am

I'm sorry you and your friend are going through this. Have you considered that your friend does not want to be a burden to you. Maybe recommend that he goes to see a professional counselor. Have you thought that he doesn't want to appear weak in your eyes and doesn't want to discuss "his" problems with you. Don't give up on him. Sometimes we just need to be a listening hear when our friends are ready to share. For me, when I try to force my friends to talk to me, they usually shut down and we both end up upset and frustrated. I let my friends know that I am available to try to help when they are ready. Maybe research some local support groups for depression and give him the information. I let my friends know that I really care about them and want them to be okay. Keep supporting him and try not to get upset with him. I know that it's hard for me to discuss my problems with other people. Wishing you the best.

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Joined: Wed Jan 09, 2019 2:29 am

Re: Best friend in a deep depression.

Postby EugeniaCarignan » Wed Jan 09, 2019 2:41 am

I have also been this situation a long time ago. My friend was going into depression because of his relationship issues. She was going through a lot of pain and she was not ready to share it with anyone. I gave her time to open up to me. I always make sure that she knows I am always with her no matter what. I also take him for consultation, it helped a lot.

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