Depression and Relationships

Feelings and emotions regarding depression, anxiety and other health issues.

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Levy
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Sep 05, 2018 4:42 pm

Depression and Relationships

Postby Levy » Thu Sep 06, 2018 1:48 am

I don't really know where to begin. But I've been suffering with depression/anxiety since roughly 6th grade. I'm now 22 and am realizing just how much of my life has been effected by it, including my relationships with everyone in my life thus far. I struggled all through grade school, and ended up dropping out of high school, because of my depression/anxiety, as well as other reasons.
I was never able to make and/or keep many friends, besides my one great friend. I also have never dated and have never been romantically interested in anyone until recently. I believe this is my fault. I'm quite introverted and I have a hard time opening up to anyone.
Over the years I've had some real ups and downs, in and out of therapy and psychiatrists, and too many meds. Honestly I can't remember a time when I was genuinely happy.
I have made some progress over the past couple years. I got my driver's license, which was a hurdle because of a nerve/back injury. I got my GED, and also have been working part time for the past year. So I know I'm making progress, it's just very hard being so far behind in life.
Recently I made a friend "more like 7 months ago" whome I've grown to really like more and more as we spend time together and talk. I'm not sure how she feels about me, but at the very least we've grown as friends, and that has been such a great thing for me in my life. I've not told her any of this, though I'm sure she's noticed I kinda clam up in any social situation. I want to tell her, but I don't know how, or even if I should. But i feel she deserves to know.
I'm also terrified to pursue anything more with her, in fear of ruining the relationship we already have, which has been some of the best memories I've had recently. And I realize how selfish that sounds, but it's where I'm at.
I guess I'm just a little lost again, and it's been kinda rough these past few months.
I guess I'm posting this cause I wanted some outside opinions and/or advice on how to handle relationships, both romantically and not, while dealing with my mental Illness. And how I can explain to her and any future relationships why I am the way I am without hurting them.
Any advice would be amazing. Thank you

OmaGosh
Posts: 2
Joined: Fri Jul 20, 2018 9:54 am

Re: Depression and Relationships

Postby OmaGosh » Tue Sep 11, 2018 11:18 am

Dear Levy, Congratulations on accomplishing so many goals! You've got your driver's license, you earned your GED and you've made a good friend. That's awesome!
I don't think it's fair to say that you're "behind in life". There's no timeline that everyone has to meet. We are all learning things relationally, emotionally, spiritually, physically and we learn them at different speeds and at different times from each other.
Have you ever figured out where your fears started? Was there an event in your life that triggered it? Were there changes you weren't comfortable with that made you feel uncertain about life? If so, what have you done to face these?
I would suggest that with your friendship with this woman, you take it as slowly or as quickly as seems appropriate to you. Don't choose fear. Choose the joy that you have in having her as a friend. Just enjoy her company and be a good companion to her. If there's a time to open up to her, I think you'll know it. If she's a good friend, she won't be offended by anything you have to tell her.
All the best to you! I pray for complete healing for you.

Jackie33
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Sep 11, 2018 9:23 pm

Re: Depression and Relationships

Postby Jackie33 » Tue Sep 11, 2018 10:25 pm

Levy wrote:I don't really know where to begin. But I've been suffering with depression/anxiety since roughly 6th grade. I'm now 22 and am realizing just how much of my life has been effected by it, including my relationships with everyone in my life thus far. I struggled all through grade school, and ended up dropping out of high school, because of my depression/anxiety, as well as other reasons.
I was never able to make and/or keep many friends, besides my one great friend. I also have never dated and have never been romantically interested in anyone until recently. I believe this is my fault. I'm quite introverted and I have a hard time opening up to anyone.
Over the years I've had some real ups and downs, in and out of therapy and psychiatrists, and too many meds. Honestly I can't remember a time when I was genuinely happy.
I have made some progress over the past couple years. I got my driver's license, which was a hurdle because of a nerve/back injury. I got my GED, and also have been working part time for the past year. So I know I'm making progress, it's just very hard being so far behind in life.
Recently I made a friend "more like 7 months ago" whome I've grown to really like more and more as we spend time together and talk. I'm not sure how she feels about me, but at the very least we've grown as friends, and that has been such a great thing for me in my life. I've not told her any of this, though I'm sure she's noticed I kinda clam up in any social situation. I want to tell her, but I don't know how, or even if I should. But i feel she deserves to know.
I'm also terrified to pursue anything more with her, in fear of ruining the relationship we already have, which has been some of the best memories I've had recently. And I realize how selfish that sounds, but it's where I'm at.
I guess I'm just a little lost again, and it's been kinda rough these past few months.
I guess I'm posting this cause I wanted some outside opinions and/or advice on how to handle relationships, both romantically and not, while dealing with my mental Illness. And how I can explain to her and any future relationships why I am the way I am without hurting them. transfers Caen
Any advice would be amazing. Thank you

C'est trop triste,nous sommes tous avec vous

kevinloveslena
Posts: 6
Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2018 8:28 am

Re: Depression and Relationships

Postby kevinloveslena » Fri Sep 14, 2018 11:24 am

Hello Levy, thank you so much for giving us a glimpse into your history and seeking our opinion. We are all here to help and support one another, so it is so great to get to share our mistakes and successes with others. I have been battling severe pain and depression for going on seven years now and have had some successes and failures in communicating this to others. Probably the biggest mistake that I have made has been to avoid the discussion completely, especially with someone whose relationship I really care about. This has always resulted in the other person getting offended by my actions because I tend to become either very angry or very withdrawn. You can never go wrong being open and honest with the person. They may tell you that it is just too much for them, and that is ok. At least they were able to come to that conclusion honestly without games. I have had people tell me that, but not very many. Most people tell me that they have dealt with it before with a father or mother, brother or cousin. I wish you the best and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. May God bless you!


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