Depressed Girlfriend

Depression/anxiety may have touched your family, your friends, yourself; what helps you to deal with it? Sharing is caring!

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Joined: Thu Aug 16, 2018 5:00 am

Depressed Girlfriend

Postby Kraken » Thu Aug 16, 2018 5:10 am

Hello. I don't know if you people can help me, well.. I'll keep it short if that's ok, I'm in a long distance relationship for a year now, and my girlfriend is suffering from depression, and as much as I want to, I find it so hard to understand certain behaviors that she has, so.. maybe someone can give me an advice, we love each other that's for sure and trust each other.

Even since I met her I found out a bit about her problems, since she was in the middle of one but it went well till January when something bad happened that threw her "down" again, but it's still going on for months now. I just want to help her by not making it hard for her at least and offer my unconditional support to her, but I really need some help understanding some things.

Lately, she barely talks to me, doesn't want to voice chat, just texting sometimes, she seems very closed in herself not expressing her feelings like before, we even talked about it, she said just that her feelings are the same and I'd know if she would lose feelings for me. Also, when she doesn't talk with me, she kinda ignores me in a way, which I can totally understand and I do not blame her, but sometimes, it just got me into a really sad state when I reacted how I shouldn't to her.

I am just "mindfucked" by the fact that she seems to talk just fine with her other friends, even online or real life, and I don't understand why is it just me she doesn't talk to when that happens, at least that's how it feels. Her problems from now come from her ex tho. Anyone can help me with any advice? I can provide more information if needed cause there is a lot

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Joined: Tue Aug 29, 2017 2:43 pm

Re: Depressed Girlfriend

Postby LookUp1430 » Fri Aug 17, 2018 2:42 pm

I am very sorry you are going through this. From reading your words, it seems the impression of you feeling ignored is hurtful to you. I can see how it would be. Nobody likes to feel ignored, especially when he or she is trying to help someone through a bad situation. Have you considered talking to a counselor or a pastor about this? Someone like that who helps people effectively communicate might be able to help you devise a way to reach out to your girlfriend in a way that she would respond. And, someone like that might help you understand what your responsibility is to your girlfriend in a situation like this.

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Joined: Thu Aug 16, 2018 5:00 am

Re: Depressed Girlfriend

Postby Kraken » Thu Aug 23, 2018 2:17 am

Hi and thank you for your reply. Yes, in a way, it's just hard to understand, I mean, I see her spending time with friends and I barely manage to get a reply from her. I did think of the possibility of seeking a therapist, but I was wondering if I should tell her about it too?

I do have a small issue too to be honest. I do tend to get anxious quite fast, and always think what if, what if. Trying to control that as much as I can. Many thoughts went trough my mind, and it's not only in this situation, but yeah, I guess that's my part of the issue. All the negative thoughts went trough my head starting from things like what if this will make her do something really stupid like hurting herself, or what if she doesn't like me anymore, and so on. And a part of my problem comes from my past too, been hurt a lot, cheated on with one of my best friends, and the list goes on.

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Joined: Thu Sep 27, 2018 12:08 am

Re: Depressed Girlfriend

Postby CindyIngraham » Thu Sep 27, 2018 12:51 am

Hi Kraken,

Sorry about your situation. Have you tried to contact her other mutual Friend you both have? Why don't you try to approach her in other way?

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Joined: Fri Jul 13, 2018 7:15 pm

Re: Depressed Girlfriend

Postby RustyTavern » Sun Nov 04, 2018 10:16 pm

Your long distance relationship has been unable to be taken to the next level!

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Joined: Sun Nov 04, 2018 7:30 pm

Re: Depressed Girlfriend

Postby LostHopeGirl » Sun Nov 04, 2018 11:12 pm

I have two thoughts I hope might help you. I don't know your girlfriend so I obviously can't say what she's going through. But I do know so many people are going through depression and they don't have anybody like you who is willing to support them. In my opinion if she continues to reject your help but yet seems to be okay talking to others, I think at some point you have to ask if you want to take yourself down with it. I guess because it is so hard to find people who truly are supportive it's hard for me to understand why she would reject that support from you but yet accept it from others. That doesn't mean you can solve her problems, but it does mean she should allow you in even just a little bit. Otherwise you are going in circles

My second thought is if you are already anxious and that is one of your tendencies as it is one of mine, to be in such a situation is going to make it worse. That being said all this is easier said than done when you care for someone. Is there anyway you can even communicate with her how you feel?
At some point if you cannot I think you're have to ask yourself if you can continue in a situation with someone you cannot communicate with
I don't know if this is helpful or not

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