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Everyday life. How was your day?

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lost-soul
Posts: 45
Joined: Tue Jun 05, 2018 8:33 pm

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Postby lost-soul » Tue Jun 05, 2018 8:47 pm

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Last edited by lost-soul on Wed Jun 27, 2018 5:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Cactus.ly
Posts: 27
Joined: Tue Jun 12, 2018 3:45 pm

Re: Im pretty sure that my siblings hate me.

Postby Cactus.ly » Wed Jun 13, 2018 4:45 pm

Have you talked to them about how you all don't talk as much anymore? Maybe invite them to an activity?

If they are not responsive, might have to take a break and focus on recovering your sense of being. There might be an opportunity to invite them into your healing/recovery down the line. They probably need it to.

Coming from a dysfunctional home, can lose our ability to dream, to be loved, to find pleasure, to establish and set off on destinations. If we survive that, there's the dysfuntiom of others and our social institutions to exploit those holes and create more. We no longer have, like, real community. Real community that sees you, gives you a hug, and says this should not be a problem.

I don't have an answer... You seem like a sensitive, thoughtful person, not afraid of being vulnerable. I read your posts, and you are constantly reaching out for self-improvement, connection, something more that supports your growth and helps you understand and establish your place in this world.

What do you want to be doing? What were some activities you used to enjoy?

Cactus.ly
Posts: 27
Joined: Tue Jun 12, 2018 3:45 pm

Re: Im pretty sure that my siblings hate me.

Postby Cactus.ly » Wed Jun 13, 2018 5:43 pm

I dont know if you have ever tried psychadelics, but Michael Pollan, the food science guy, has this new book out:

How to change your mind: what the new science of psychadelics can tell us about dying, depression, and addiction

(that's not the full & correct subtitle, but I can't copy/paste).

I imagine trying LSD and getting a self-perception and world view impenetrable to depression. A distance that heals my wounds while empowering me to connect with those courageous enough to imagine an end to the social ills that created such wounds.

People just don't believe there can be an end to the social machines that injure us. They can't imagine.

I am afraid to take LSD because I feel my mind is trippy enough (and that would be dangerous), but... I know that there is another version of me, glitching out there, happy, embodied, and empowered af. She can come into full reality, but I have to puzzle myself into her expression...

Few and fewer people are going to see your raw potential and then help you create your best self. It can be confusing to see yourself as others see you (based on the things they say to you) if not damaging.. In most cases, we can probably safely assume that our parents injure us because they are jealous of our possibilities, not because of who we are. Unlike when we are adults and can somewhat safely assume that others are attacking what we are as well as who we are.

The point is that there is a Found Soul version of you existing right now, Lost Soul. This version has the love knowledge missing from your childhood. It has knowledge of safety and security, moving forward. This version is you as well. It needs what you know now to become more perfect.

I hope that you will continue to try and see this version of yourself, in yourself, forward, so that your present expression can dream again.

I say this as someone living day-to-day myself. I will continue to try and create a safe place in me (and this world) for the child I was, hoping on tomorrow's possibilities.


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