so lonely

[pepethecat]

I've had 2 bouts of severe depression/anxiety over the past few years and feel another one is on it's way. I'm a single mum of 18 year old twins and have been on my own since they were 6. I have no contact with my parents (my decision after a horrible childhood) and feel so alone all the time - my ex husband had an affair, my best friend was nowhere to be seen when my marriage broke up (despite having been through the same herself a few years earlier) and we longer have contact, my ex m-i-l then betrayed my trust by telling my parents where I was living. I then had an 8 year relationship with a man who swore he would never remarry but was engaged within a year of us breaking up. I have absolutely no friends and all my siblings have families of their own. The school holidays are here and once again I will see no-one and go nowhere....the thought of the 6 week summer holiday is making me feel even worse. I hate waking up each day and although would never do anything to hurt my boys, I really wish things would just end. My sons are fantastic but doing their own thing so when I'm at home I'm still alone - I go to work then come and sit on my own. I don't feel I can trust anyone as I feel everyone lets me down eventually.....sorry to ramble

[Bardsley]

Reading your post, my heart hurts for you. I am sorry you feel so lonely. I can relate. I just got off of a week of vacation. I did not go anywhere or do anything and feel worse than ever. I am sorry to reply so late. I hope things are getting better for you. If you need someone, I will try to help.

[theredhead]

I'm sorry you feel alone..I feel alone too even when I am with people. I also understand cutting ties with family because of the past. My family was very abusive growing up but because incest was "normal" no one wanted to talk about it. Growing up that way breaks a person and unfortunately it is a hard thing to get over, so I took my family and moved as far away as I could but now I don't know anyone and I have trust issues, so making friends is not easy. I believe there are alot of people here who can help....I see you had numerous views, so I hope they will post words of encouragement as well.

I can say the best way to get through it is to find a hobby or immerse yourself in helping others by volunteering, etc. There is a lot of healing this way and it helps you see how you do benefit others.