How many of you are alone / lonely ?

Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.

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Itsonlyme
Posts: 55
Joined: Sun Oct 19, 2014 2:42 am

How many of you are alone / lonely ?

Postby Itsonlyme » Sun Oct 19, 2014 1:02 pm

For how long ?

Ya' know, I'm an old guy (50yo) and I actually did have two serious relationships WAAAAY back....
Lived with one girl, right out of HS, for 4 years. She was a violent maniac.... but I was young and stupid, and she looked really nice....

Then, lived with one other girl for 7 years. This was a better relationship, in spite of the fact that it was also pretty dysfunctional, and she just did not ever love me like I loved her. I'm sure she just didn't know how to. (messed up upbringing).

This ^ was 18 years ago ! I still remember how all of my friends and family kept telling me; Don't worry, you will find somebody else.... their are plenty of fish in the sea... etc, etc.
But all the while, I "knew better" ! I was just positive I would be alone / lonely, the rest of my freaking life, and so heck yes, I felt like I had good reason to be devastated.

So here we are all these years later, and just like I told them, it has not happened, and its still never going to.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now, I swear if I hear this one more time, I'll freaking scream !!!! > Well see, you have already decided you were going to be alone... you put yourself in that mindset... you have brought this upon yourself.... you have already given up....

BS ! BS ! BS ! No ! I still freaking try all the darn time ! I flirt with every decent looking woman I see ! I look for a ring... and if I like what I see, and can't see that she is taken, I will walk right up, and have a little chat, and straight up ask them out !
I did this probably 4 X's in the last 6 months. It always went so smooth..... {never got told, get away from me you ugly $$%#$} but instead, "Ahhhh, that's really sweet but, I'm already taken...."
Then, even if I could get one to go out with me on a date, I'm sure all my issues would end up killing any chance of a real relationship soon enough anyway...

But I still freaking try ! I guess I just like beating my head against the wall :(

Urggg... late for work.

Off the next two days, but the weather turns to crap the next two days (stealing my days off) :(

I could post a whole other thing about cold, gloomy weather.... if I had time.. maybe later.

Anyway, my life is a lonely POS,

Have a nice day :)

EternalLifeAwaits
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Oct 16, 2014 2:13 am

Postby EternalLifeAwaits » Sun Oct 19, 2014 6:02 pm

Well unfortunately we live in a very selfish society. Most people go about the world living for themselves. People walk around like robots, being controlled by the media, banks etc... . Its hard to find a soul mate let alone a friend in modern times because to many people are trying to keep up with the high life. People rather text message and sit on facebook all day. Nobody says Hi on the streets anymore. Hope you find your love!!!

Itsonlyme
Posts: 55
Joined: Sun Oct 19, 2014 2:42 am

Postby Itsonlyme » Mon Oct 20, 2014 2:47 pm

Thank you Eternal :)

Yes, you are correct, and because of my life-long hand-eye coordination issues, I am SO hampered by anything to do with the internet... I don't even do facebook, twitter, etc... And have the hardest time navigating dating sites, and such....
Heck, I couldn't even text, 6 months ago.... then started texting with a woman for a couple months (had my arm twisted) and took kind of a crash course on it. So now, I'm about 5% as effective as the average 6 yo, when it comes to texting.

As for faith, I am a "completely open minded atheist". Just waiting for God to come sit on the corner of my bed and say, "Okay, you thick sculled $%$%$, here I am ! You have some questions for me" ???

Anyway, as it is, its just easier for me to believe their is no God, than to believe their is a God, who just absolutely could not care less about my pain and suffering.

On occasion, I will curse God.... then stop to laugh at myself, as this probably makes as much sense as cursing the Easter bunny.

I mean, if I really believed in God, I sure wouldn't be talking #$#$ to him :) LOL

Anyway, thanks again Eternal :)

EternalLifeAwaits
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Oct 16, 2014 2:13 am

Postby EternalLifeAwaits » Mon Oct 20, 2014 4:05 pm

Glad to hear from you again!!! I am glad we can still exchange thoughts without it blowing up. I respect your stand on God and don't judge people as I have a lot of friends who don't believe either. I just care about everyone and share my story if there open to hearing it. To sum it up I used to be very angry with God myself, also suffering from depression & addiction. Satan very much exists in the world we live in now, and is evident by wars, disease, selfish governments etc. Having a relationship with Jesus and has helped overcome certain obstacles & has allowed me to become a better man. I really hope you can find your way thru your struggles. Wishing you the best of luck!!!!

Itsonlyme
Posts: 55
Joined: Sun Oct 19, 2014 2:42 am

Postby Itsonlyme » Wed Oct 22, 2014 12:17 am

Right on Eternal :)

Hey BTW, I think we would agree that most atheists just don't believe in anything supernatural whatsoever, right ?

Well, for myself, I wasn't left much choice.....
I lived with a ghost ? spirit ? entity ? whatever you want to call it, for 8 years ! We had literally hundreds... maybe pushing 1000 occurrences in those 8 years.

Most common occurrence by far ? Well, it was a tiny single wide mobile home. The kitchen was right off of the living room, so like 8ft from you on the couch. So you would be in the kitchen, getting some food or whatever... maybe open a drawer or cupboard door, or two... close them when your done > which was always a pain as those doors were worn out, and dragged and jammed... took some skills to open them :) LOL

So you would get done in the kitchen, walk 8ft to flop on the couch and turn on the TV. You might look back in the kitchen 5 min later, and all is fine. Look back 5 min after that, and "every drawer, as well as every cupboard door" is wide open !
WTF ? I couldn't open 1 of those things quietly, and something was doing all 7 or 8 of them, with dead silence.

And all of the hundreds of X's this happened ^ we never once actually saw anything move. It was like a game to toy with us.

Had a bunch of other stuff too, including a crazy grand finally....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, its hard for me to say nothing supernatural exists, but its just a really long jump to believe in a God, who loves and cares for us all, or an afterlife, etc.

Even the bible doesn't really mention ghosts or spirits, except having to do with the holy ghost, or whatever.

So its like, even the one thing I have experienced that is pretty much super natural, isn't supported by the bible ?

But again, open to all thoughts on the matter. Wish I knew the answer.


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