Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.

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Postby Shauntee » Thu Nov 16, 2017 3:08 am

I don’t really know what I’m looking for. I know I’m depressed. I don’t want to go to therapy and talk about my feelings. I honestly don’t even want to hear that everything will be alright or “things will get better”. But I just needed to air out my feelings I guess. Have someone else hear what’s going on in my head besides myself. This year has been... numbing, I guess would be the best way to describe it. I’ve been abused.....
almost lost custody of my son because of it.
I lost a child I was carrying....
Lost all my friends...
Was diagnosed with cervical cancer and have been financially struggling because of it.
And I’m pretty sure to top it all off I think I might end up flunking out of school and I am only a few credits away from having my degree.

I... I don’t know. I can’t breathe because of it all. I just want to disappear and not feel this way anymore. I don’t think there is anything anyone can say or do that will change this feeling. I’ve had this ringing in my ears ever since I lost my baby and I can barely hear past it sometimes. I don’t know what I wanted to get out of this but I needed to say it.

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Location: Argentina, [email protected]

Re: Umm

Postby DiegoArgentina92 » Thu Nov 16, 2017 4:37 am

Hi, i read your message, i dont go to therapy either, pay someone to tell some things, its not something that really excites me.

So sorry about the things you wrote that been happening to you...

Maybe you can find a support group to talk about this, support groups are not usual where i live but maybe you can ask and see theres something like that where you live.

This thing of chatrooms are ok, but its not as good like talk in real 1 on 1 with someone, and just the fact you have to turn on the computer, look at a screen and then write, and wait for replies, at least to me tireds me a lot.

Good luck, i really feel bad for dont have much to tell you

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Re: Umm

Postby Imnothere » Thu Nov 16, 2017 12:39 pm

Sorry you're going through such a hard time.

DiegoArgentina92 mentioned support groups and I agree they are a nice option if you don't feel like talking to a therapist. Hospitals usually have specific support groups, like cancer, depression, addiction etc., and where I live these are free. Maybe ask your doctor/nurse the next time you have your appointment?

About the financial difficulty and your degree, is there an assistance program available at your school? Some schools offer that, such as loans with very low or no interests, and not just to high-achieving students. You may want to consult a faculty and see what options you have.

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Re: Umm

Postby JonsDragonEyes » Fri Nov 17, 2017 4:17 am

I know how you feel when you say you can't breathe. I can't either. I also know what it feels like when you feel that nobody can say or do anything to make you feel better.

But please know you are not alone. I promise tonight when I look at the stars I will think of you. I hope with all of my heart things get better for you. I know it doesn't seem like much but just know that all the way out there in this great big world someone is thinking of you. Please take care always

Love and hugs to you
"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place, and I don't care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; how much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that! -- Rocky Balboa

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Re: Umm

Postby marshmallow2018 » Fri Nov 17, 2017 9:28 pm

Hi Shauntee,
Life can be brutal and sometimes things do hit you all at once. I will pray for God to comfort you and give you hope, strength, and direction. I know that is what my friends were praying for me when I was going through multiple heartaches and defeats. I will put you on my prayer list and pray for you each day.

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Re: Umm

Postby Muffet » Sun Nov 19, 2017 7:37 pm

You poor dear! I'm very sorry that your little one is not with you here on earth, but I have every confidence that your babe is in heaven! It's wonderful that you have your little guy with you to love and raise. He needs your love, acceptance, and guidance. Before I had my children I didn't want to live, but they gave me purpose; to love them, protect them, raise them to be the best they could be. And as their role model, I tried to be the best I could be, all by the grace of God. So far, so good! So do your best for your little guy, and get yourself taken care of! Cervical cancer is nothing to take lightly, as I'm sure you know. Is there a payment plan you can go on to help you manage your monthly budget?

I encourage you to tackle one problem at a time. If you look at them all in a big lump, they feel and seem overwhelming, but by breaking them apart, they are bearable, and you can breath. You can develop a plan of attack. But just one thing at a time; one step at a time.

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