lupus, life, and people....sucks

[lavenderlove12]

So I have this illness, lupus, that has me in an emotional roller-coaster. I strongly believe a lot has to do with steroids I have to taje. Sometimes I realize I'm depressed or angry out of no where but other times I find an excuse. I got married last year to a man I believed was the love of my life and would help change everything for me. Instead I reminisce about the peace I had when I was single with just my two kids. Now he goes for custody of his nightmare of a son whom I can barely stand. In one instance I feel bad for the child in the other I just want to send him back to his drug addicted mother. My husband can be insensitive, wrong person for my situation. With me I need reassurance every now and then. For him this is a task. Many days I'm so close to telling him to get out my house. We don't have kids together and he moved in with me. Ever since I married him it's been a downward spiral. I feel like I'm a come up for him. I can't stand his mother. I gained 20 pounds in a 1 year marriage. Oh and a drunk lady runs into the front side of my car chasing a ball. He comes to the seen no words of reassurance. This drunk is probably going to sue me and I did nothing wrong. I'm so tired. I take about 5 different meds for my illness and now I'm going to see a psychiatrist in two weeks who will put me something else to make me fat and deoressed. Most days I don't feel like doing anything.