Depression Understood Forums

I've had depression and anxiety since childhood. Mostly done ok with SSRI until my daughter was born 5 years ago. Postpartum depression left me hospitalized and I had 12 round of ECT. It took years of memories away and I still have cognitive problems. Since then have been bouncing around with everything from literally tried ever med and med combo out there . Even tried Ketamine treatments. Most days I'm functional but not alive. Very little joy in motherhood though I love her so. I am lucky to have an excellent support system and am financially ok not working though I miss it very much.I was a social worker in a demanding job that I loved. I get by with my Xanex but really am just getting by. I'm not the person or mom I want to be. My doctor is a professor and sees patients only once a week. I have been extremely lucky in finding a doctor who is interested in my case and spends sometimes up to an hour working with me. We are talking about trying an MAOI and I'm excited that this is something totally new to my system and could bring me back to life. I'm ok with the diet restrictions. But I have to come off all my meds which are currently Prozac, Risperidone, Pramipoxle, Mirapex. I also take Adderall, Ambien and Xanex but I'm not sure if I have to come off those. I'm terrified of not having anything in my system. My family is too. Is it worth going to the dark, possible suicidal place for the chance to come out my old self? Does anyone have experience coming off their meds? Thank you for your time. My heart goes out to everyone suffering from this disease

Find what works for you, medication is half the battle, the other half is what you do to overcome the issues that make you depressed.