Unusual self harming
Posted: Sat Jul 07, 2018 6:28 pm
Hi all,
I used to physically self harm myself with cutting, etc but only when I was quite young. I then discovered a weird interest in wearing shoes that were too small (usually trainers/sneakers). I thought it was some sort of fetish, but found it gave me a bit of relief to the depression similar to the self harming. As time went on I bought tighter and tighter pairs of sneakers until people started noticing, and thinking I had really small feet. On a few occasions people asked me what size my feet were, or commented on my small feet, and I found it humiliating, which in turn gave me a bit more relief from the depression.
So I started to experiment more by buying women's style sneakers and wearing them. Even though people very rarely notice, it kind of gives me a self humiliation feeling that helps alleviate the depression along with the tight sensation of the shoes. When I'm going through a good period, the desire to do this goes away, but intensifies the more down I feel. The downside is that it can increase my anxiety, which can be a problem, but I learn to balance everything.
Has anyone else found any odd way that helps them from self harming?
I am a unique weirdo?
Jim
I used to physically self harm myself with cutting, etc but only when I was quite young. I then discovered a weird interest in wearing shoes that were too small (usually trainers/sneakers). I thought it was some sort of fetish, but found it gave me a bit of relief to the depression similar to the self harming. As time went on I bought tighter and tighter pairs of sneakers until people started noticing, and thinking I had really small feet. On a few occasions people asked me what size my feet were, or commented on my small feet, and I found it humiliating, which in turn gave me a bit more relief from the depression.
So I started to experiment more by buying women's style sneakers and wearing them. Even though people very rarely notice, it kind of gives me a self humiliation feeling that helps alleviate the depression along with the tight sensation of the shoes. When I'm going through a good period, the desire to do this goes away, but intensifies the more down I feel. The downside is that it can increase my anxiety, which can be a problem, but I learn to balance everything.
Has anyone else found any odd way that helps them from self harming?
I am a unique weirdo?
Jim