Don't know if I am up or down
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- Posts: 48
- Joined: Tue Nov 12, 2013 10:15 am
- Location: Ayrshire, Scotland
Don't know if I am up or down
After having my tablets changed my moods are still the same as the ones before, one minute I am normal then down really low and just feel so empty and I feel that the moods are going even more erratic more frequent with the downs lasting longer than before and the highs are, well not lasting as long but a wee bit the last couple of days I have been on these mega highs when I feel really hyper and keep talking very fast and non stop, I swear if someone saw me who never knew me they would think I am on drugs or something!
As well as the moods I am getting even more agitated and struggling even more to communicate with people. After my last trip to the doctors I am starting to give up with them, just felt that they were not listening to me and basically just told me with my struggling to communicate to "just" talk to others as if it was that simple.
Argh want to write a hell of a lot more but I don't know what to write even though I am in the mood to write!
As well as the moods I am getting even more agitated and struggling even more to communicate with people. After my last trip to the doctors I am starting to give up with them, just felt that they were not listening to me and basically just told me with my struggling to communicate to "just" talk to others as if it was that simple.
Argh want to write a hell of a lot more but I don't know what to write even though I am in the mood to write!
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- Posts: 48
- Joined: Tue Nov 12, 2013 10:15 am
- Location: Ayrshire, Scotland
Yeah, it is the extreme nature of the swings that are getting worse, they are changing so fast so frequent these days with the lows lasting even longer than before and now with these highs where I am like a child at christmas getting everything they wanted which really is a good feeling although pretty tiring for myself and those around me, I don't know how how to describe some of the feelings, if I was to try I would say at the lows surreal, numb and just pure tired to the extremes of pure exitement and this feeling of having loads and loads of energy.
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- Posts: 48
- Joined: Tue Nov 12, 2013 10:15 am
- Location: Ayrshire, Scotland
Yeah been this way before and it got better but back then I found it easier as I knew where the problems in my life were and I knew what to do to beat my problems and my deamons which I done but this time I don't know why I am feeling like this and with the negative thoughts I know that they are only thoughts and with them being only thoughts it dosn't make them real.
I also try and keep in the back of my mind what I felt like at my lowest so I know to do my best to stop me going down that path again but somethimes I just think that I am wasting my time as I may just be that type of person.
I also try and keep in the back of my mind what I felt like at my lowest so I know to do my best to stop me going down that path again but somethimes I just think that I am wasting my time as I may just be that type of person.
Often, Metal bear, when I'm in this mood:
You can try to describe it later; sometimes it's the expression, just getting it out, that's important.
I just start scratching on the paper. Sometimes the doodling or typography is more beautiful than the sentence. After a while something comes out that couldn't be described in words. Sometimes it's the cadence or the spaces in between the words.Argh want to write a hell of a lot more but I don't know what to write even though I am in the mood to write!
You can try to describe it later; sometimes it's the expression, just getting it out, that's important.
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- Posts: 48
- Joined: Tue Nov 12, 2013 10:15 am
- Location: Ayrshire, Scotland
Thanks Frame, tried that but end up drawing patterns, look cool though but I suppose writing, typing just sodn't work for me. Although I have dusted down my old guitars which is kinda helping. Got the feeling that I need to make more changes though but I just don't know what yet.
Last edited by metal bear on Sat Dec 21, 2013 4:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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- Posts: 48
- Joined: Tue Nov 12, 2013 10:15 am
- Location: Ayrshire, Scotland
And here comes the low, even after a few whiskys and listening to some skynyrd I still feel like shit for no reason, starting to feel even more isolated as when I try to talk or something I just feel like I am pissing my wife off, really not seeing the point of it now and not even sure why I am posting lol but meh don't see the difference I would make in or out of anyones life
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- Posts: 48
- Joined: Tue Nov 12, 2013 10:15 am
- Location: Ayrshire, Scotland
Well now after a few more weeks working in the charity shop I feel that I am gaining some confidence which is a good thing think and I am starting to be able to talk more to others which I am proud about
Still getting the low moods but they are getting less and less so again I think this is positive
Stopped posting on here for a small wee while as I thought I was wasting my time but I actually think being able to post things like I have have helped me when thinking about it, good wee place is this
Still getting the low moods but they are getting less and less so again I think this is positive
Stopped posting on here for a small wee while as I thought I was wasting my time but I actually think being able to post things like I have have helped me when thinking about it, good wee place is this
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- Posts: 48
- Joined: Tue Nov 12, 2013 10:15 am
- Location: Ayrshire, Scotland
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