Depressed boyfriend has isolated himself
Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2018 3:51 pm
Hello everyone. I hope that somebody can help me.
I have been with my wonderful boyfriend for 3 years and he has been the most loving, kind and consistent man I have ever met. He was diagnosed with depression 1 year ago and had 6 months off work. Whilst this was a very difficult time for him, he continued to be very loving and we were really happy together. 6 weeks ago, totally out of the blue he broke up with me saying that he felt emotionally numb and wanted to be by himself, had no interest in seeing me and couldnt give me love because he didnt feel anything about anyone. This absolutely broke my heart but I accepted what he said and didnt want to put any pressure on him or make any demands. A few days later he got back in touch saying that he was sorry and had made a terrible mistake and could I be his girlfriend again. I was so happy. He seemed like his old self and we put in place an arrangement that if he felt that he was going downhill he would say that he needed some time out and get back in touch again when this had passed.
All was great until 2 weeks ago when I sensed that all was not well (he wasn't sleeping and was not as 'loving' as usual, wasn't making any plans to see me, was inconsistent in his communication and wasnt expressing any love towards me). I now havent seen him for 3 weeks. We spoke tonight and he told me that he feels like he wants to be left alone, doesnt want anybody ringing him or seeing him, he has no interest in doing anything (other than sitting in his flat by himself), feels numb and feels sick when the phone goes or a text comes through because he doesnt want to communicate with anyone. He says that he doesn't want to be like this but this is how it is for him and he hopes it passes. It felt like I was talking to a friend rather than a boyfriend. I didnt make any demands of him but instead told him that I understood and I am here if he needs me and I asked him to check in with me again which he promised to do. He is seeing the Doctor for his usual depression/medication check up in a few weeks and says that he will explain how he feels to her.
I feel like I am losing the love of my life to depression and the mere thought of this causes me so much pain. Whilst he isnt specifically saying that he doesnt want to see me again it really doesnt feel like we are in a relationship and I feel so sad that my fun loving and romantic man has turned into this recluse.
Has anybody else experienced this and if so, is your relationship back on track? I love this man so much I would happily wait for him but I don't know if this is wishful thinking on my part that all will be ok in the end.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and I will really appreciate it if anyone replies.
I have been with my wonderful boyfriend for 3 years and he has been the most loving, kind and consistent man I have ever met. He was diagnosed with depression 1 year ago and had 6 months off work. Whilst this was a very difficult time for him, he continued to be very loving and we were really happy together. 6 weeks ago, totally out of the blue he broke up with me saying that he felt emotionally numb and wanted to be by himself, had no interest in seeing me and couldnt give me love because he didnt feel anything about anyone. This absolutely broke my heart but I accepted what he said and didnt want to put any pressure on him or make any demands. A few days later he got back in touch saying that he was sorry and had made a terrible mistake and could I be his girlfriend again. I was so happy. He seemed like his old self and we put in place an arrangement that if he felt that he was going downhill he would say that he needed some time out and get back in touch again when this had passed.
All was great until 2 weeks ago when I sensed that all was not well (he wasn't sleeping and was not as 'loving' as usual, wasn't making any plans to see me, was inconsistent in his communication and wasnt expressing any love towards me). I now havent seen him for 3 weeks. We spoke tonight and he told me that he feels like he wants to be left alone, doesnt want anybody ringing him or seeing him, he has no interest in doing anything (other than sitting in his flat by himself), feels numb and feels sick when the phone goes or a text comes through because he doesnt want to communicate with anyone. He says that he doesn't want to be like this but this is how it is for him and he hopes it passes. It felt like I was talking to a friend rather than a boyfriend. I didnt make any demands of him but instead told him that I understood and I am here if he needs me and I asked him to check in with me again which he promised to do. He is seeing the Doctor for his usual depression/medication check up in a few weeks and says that he will explain how he feels to her.
I feel like I am losing the love of my life to depression and the mere thought of this causes me so much pain. Whilst he isnt specifically saying that he doesnt want to see me again it really doesnt feel like we are in a relationship and I feel so sad that my fun loving and romantic man has turned into this recluse.
Has anybody else experienced this and if so, is your relationship back on track? I love this man so much I would happily wait for him but I don't know if this is wishful thinking on my part that all will be ok in the end.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and I will really appreciate it if anyone replies.