My boyfriend is feeling hopeless and suicidal - how can i help?
Posted: Thu Aug 03, 2017 12:34 pm
Would really appreciate some advice. My boyfriend of 4 years is suicidal and for as long as I've known him he's struggled with mental health. Having issues with mental health myself; I feel as though I am fairly understanding of his troubles as I've felt similar but because I have been to therapy and had medication I've been able to recover and learnt how to deal with things better.
Anyway, my boyfriend isn't like me and really struggles to tell anyone anything in regards to his feelings. He has previously told me that he has felt suicidal for the majority of his life, first considering it at only 10 years old (he is now 21). For the 5 years I have known him, he has attempted suicide 3 times through overdose of painkillers and has periods of really intense self harming that have left large scars. Just before Christmas was the last time he attempted suicide and after that he came to live with me in my uni dorm because I am his only source of support - his mum and dad know of his problems but do very little to support him. After months of persuasion, I encouraged him to go to the doctors and to join the gym to try and keep him busy and lift his mood. The doctor gave him a prescription, however he over dosed on those and so was only given small quantities after that and would not consistently take them and then stopped completely and hasn't had them since. Since then I've tried to find things to do to make him enjoy his life more - concerts, holidays etc. and encouraged him to continue being active and keeping in touch with friends and this seemed to work, he spoke about the future and made plans to start university.
However, the past month he's just gone completely back in his shell. He's barely spoken to me and refuses to see me because he doesn't like to be around people when feeling down. As he hasn't spoken to me much, I've been really worried and so looked up his search history as he has previously searched things that suggest he's hurting himself. (I'm very aware this is invasive but by doing this, I cant at least know what frame of mind he's in). I found he's been searching various drugs which could be harmful. I'm feeling very helpless because he's pushing me away and I'm worried he'll try again to harm himself. I have spoken previously to my doctor and councillor about him and they said the only thing I can do is encourage him to seek help himself. I'm really desperate in wanting to help him. has anyone else had a similar experience and if so what can we do to get him to seek help?
Anyway, my boyfriend isn't like me and really struggles to tell anyone anything in regards to his feelings. He has previously told me that he has felt suicidal for the majority of his life, first considering it at only 10 years old (he is now 21). For the 5 years I have known him, he has attempted suicide 3 times through overdose of painkillers and has periods of really intense self harming that have left large scars. Just before Christmas was the last time he attempted suicide and after that he came to live with me in my uni dorm because I am his only source of support - his mum and dad know of his problems but do very little to support him. After months of persuasion, I encouraged him to go to the doctors and to join the gym to try and keep him busy and lift his mood. The doctor gave him a prescription, however he over dosed on those and so was only given small quantities after that and would not consistently take them and then stopped completely and hasn't had them since. Since then I've tried to find things to do to make him enjoy his life more - concerts, holidays etc. and encouraged him to continue being active and keeping in touch with friends and this seemed to work, he spoke about the future and made plans to start university.
However, the past month he's just gone completely back in his shell. He's barely spoken to me and refuses to see me because he doesn't like to be around people when feeling down. As he hasn't spoken to me much, I've been really worried and so looked up his search history as he has previously searched things that suggest he's hurting himself. (I'm very aware this is invasive but by doing this, I cant at least know what frame of mind he's in). I found he's been searching various drugs which could be harmful. I'm feeling very helpless because he's pushing me away and I'm worried he'll try again to harm himself. I have spoken previously to my doctor and councillor about him and they said the only thing I can do is encourage him to seek help himself. I'm really desperate in wanting to help him. has anyone else had a similar experience and if so what can we do to get him to seek help?