Here it goes!

Introductions and welcomes.

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kyoung49
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Feb 06, 2018 9:05 am

Here it goes!

Postby kyoung49 » Tue Feb 06, 2018 10:50 am

So I’m new to this online forum but I figured it can’t hurt to try it!
Unfortunately I’m not new to depression. I’ve been struggling on and off for years. Trying different meds some of which helped for awhile but then stopped. In the past year I lost my pt job as a store accountant, my health benefits (which only paid for my well visits, and some prescriptions???) had to stop working as a nanny (taking care of 4 kids under 12) and was diagnosed with IBS. I thought I was just overdoing it but soon came to realize it was depression setting in once again! That feeling of nothing’s ever good enough, can I get a break? I can’t afford healthcare and was denied Medicaid! Along with financial burden from my divorce 5 years ago, I have felt very defeated! I was married for 20 years and have 2 beautiful adult daughters. My job for those years was raising our daughters and taking pt jobs to help out. My ex-husband spent his time working and building a career. He was a good provider but absent when it came to his family! The divorce was heart breaking and messy! I basically walked away with nothing. Needless to say financially I have suffered ever since! I don’t like to play the victim and I’m not. I just have a lot of regrets! I’ve read some stories others have shared here and I feel like maybe there’s hope talking with other people who feel so unworthy and hopeless. Everyone has a story and I hope mine helps other to feel they are not alone! Depression is a debilitating disease!!!
K~

User avatar
Olive
Posts: 24
Joined: Sat Feb 03, 2018 7:36 pm
Location: Buffalo NY

Re: Here it goes!

Postby Olive » Tue Feb 06, 2018 11:42 pm

HI K

I’m so sorry to hear how you’ve been suffering and can only imagine how hard it is to keep on your feet. I think it’s amazing for someone to display so much resilience.

I’m glad you are looking to reach out because it seems like a great thing to do. I’ve only been on for about a week now, and reading people’s posts has been inspiring. And that includes yours!

I know how we all feel not good enough or unworthy or like we are a problem, but it isn’t true. And I know your illness will tell you otherwise, but I think you are awesome and worthy :)

Take care
~Olive

kyoung49
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Feb 06, 2018 9:05 am

Re: Here it goes!

Postby kyoung49 » Wed Feb 07, 2018 8:12 am

Hi Olive,
Thank you for your kind words of encouragement! I really needed some positive reinforcement! Thank you also for sharing your story! I’m sorry you have suffered through your experiences as well! It is hard to share such feelings with some for fear of being judged or just shone! It takes a special person to reach out to others when your going through your own storm, so thank you for that! Life will shake you and bring you to your knees for sure! My family has had there share of tragedy and it’s been a daily struggle. Lately my days are just filled with sadness, fear, guilt and anxiety. I take it moment by moment! I am still a fighter though so I push through it! My hope is that I connect with others on this site~ sharing our good and bad days, inspiring one another, and defeating this battle!!!
Thank you again for reaching out to me! I hope to talk more...
Many Blessings,
K
K~

nightingale77
Posts: 24
Joined: Thu Aug 10, 2017 2:48 am

Re: Here it goes!

Postby nightingale77 » Thu Feb 08, 2018 7:49 am

Welcome K! Sorry to hear you are going through so much. There’s a lot for anyone to go through. But I’m glad you are reaching out for help and most importantly, you are also looking for opportunity to help. Depression is a terrible illness and I pray you will be able to have the help you need soon. But meanwhile, I can sense a strong fighting spirit in you and you are not giving it up yet! There is hope in getting better, no matter how long it takes. You have hope in recovering so press on ok? I’m keeping you in my prayer. But if you do have specific prayer request, do let me know. God bless!

kyoung49
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Feb 06, 2018 9:05 am

Re: Here it goes!

Postby kyoung49 » Thu Feb 08, 2018 11:42 am

Dear Nightingale,

Thank you for the kind words and the prayers! It’s really nice to feel understood! I hold a lot of guilt right now for not being able to be the cheery, outgoing and social person I know I truly am! I am determined though to keep fighting through faith and believe that I can overcome this disease! Hope is there for us all, whatever our battles are! Helping others has always been a part of me, so many people feel so alone, unworthy, ashamed, guilt and so much more. Some silent and some crying out for help! I have more to my story and in time I will share in hope that my life experiences and tragedies might help someone else in need and make a difference in their life!
Many Blessings...
K~

amstcole
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Feb 08, 2018 3:25 pm

Re: Here it goes!

Postby amstcole » Thu Feb 08, 2018 3:36 pm

I'm sorry you are going through this...not sure where you are at, but is there an unemployment office near you? I was going from one job to another not making ends meet until I got into a program that's helping me find a better job...perhaps you can go back to school? Get a case worker...maybe check with Dept of Vocational Rehabilitation to help you with resources...there are programs out there.


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