I'm not really sure if I even have depression tho??

[JimmyEdith]

To be completely honest, I probably have some sort of anxiety disorder, but I don't really know because I've never been to a counselor. Like I could be suffering from nothing.

But, like, I don't know. Lately, it's just felt like all of my problems are simultaneously really petty and insignificant but also really horrible and life-ruining to the point that I feel like if I tell anyone all the problems I'm having, they'll freak out because- like- I keep putting off doing things I need to do. Like that's the source of most of my problems. Like I put off getting out of this contract (for no reason what-so-ever, I just kept putting off the call to do it), so now I owe money that I shouldn't have had to owe. And I can't drive because it feels like I can't focus on the road, so I don't have a job (I live in the US and my town doesn't really have reliable public transport, so...) I'm going to college, but I'm constantly putting off my homework, or I'll start something and get so involved with it, the other subjects fall behind.

People don't make me nervous and I don't feel any social anxiety if I'm put into the situation where interaction is sort of involuntary, but if I have to initiate it, if I need something from someone or if it feels like the person will want something from me, I'm completely not there. Like when I'm in the classroom, I have no problem raising my hand and answering a question because that's what's expected of me, but if I have to send someone an email asking for notes, or for an interview, or for information about X, I feel like I'm bothering them.

Lately, though, it's been really hard to want to do anything. I'm just exhausted, and it feels like I'm happily ruining my life with my stupid procrastination.

But, uhm. Yeah, I kind of joined this forum because I miss forums. Like I'm 19 years old. And I just feel really bad right now. It's just been a bad week. So.

Anyway, hello everyone. I spent way too long on my signature and avatar.

[petros]

Hi, Jimmy, I'm new to this forum as well, so welcome to it. You can find my intro post under "Hello, I am also new here." I can sympathize with just about all you're going through, and the lethargy and melancholy seem to be symptoms of depression. Are you seeing a therapist and or are you on an antidepressant or other medications? I see a therapist and it seems to help, as well as am taking Lexapro, an antidepressant which has helped for years, but now seems to be "pooping out" on me, so my doctor upped the dosage. Well, hang in there, and I'll talk with you later!

[TheErickDaniel]

Hey Jimmy,

I read what you wrote, it sounds like you're more nervous when it comes down to the intentions of others and you're unsure if you will be right, wrong, or accepted.

I think you need to practice being more thoughtful to the person's intent by putting yourself in their shoes.

For example, in a job interview; people get nervous because they are only thinking about themselves, they aren't thinking about the interviewer at all, such as the interviewer called you in the first place because they were interested in your skills, and furthermore, they have problems themselves and they are hoping you can be the person to solve them.

Text me, I'd like to know what situations this happens in for you other than the ones you wrote: +1 714-886-6581

[JimmyEdith]

:) Hi, Jimmy, I'm new to this forum as well, so welcome to it. You can find my intro post under "Hello, I am also new here." I can sympathize with just about all you're going through, and the lethargy and melancholy seem to be symptoms of depression. Are you seeing a therapist and or are you on an antidepressant or other medications? I see a therapist and it seems to help, as well as am taking Lexapro, an antidepressant which has helped for years, but now seems to be "pooping out" on me, so my doctor upped the dosage. Well, hang in there, and I'll talk with you later!

Hellooo~ It's nice to meet you:)

I'm not currently seeing any type of medical professional, and I've never been on any medication. Depression and anxiety run in my family, though. I know I should probably see a therapist, but, to be completely honest, I'm afraid that I'm over-exaggerating and that I'll feel ridiculous for having gone. It's just difficult for me to tell if I need to go, because, like, the rest of my family is a lot worse than me when it comes to their mental illness. I have 7 siblings, and 4 of them go to therapists for various ailments; the siblings closest to me in age on either side, younger and older, have debilitating anxiety and bi-polar depression respectively. Another one of my brothers is currently seeing a therapist for behavioral problems and another sister suffers from depression. My mom also has depression, but she's had it under control with medication for years. So idk, I feel like I've been handling whatever's been going on with me, so why do I need help now. Like even though I feel pretty bad, I can get through the day without too much work most of the time, while my brother with extreme anxiety can't even leave his room some days.

[Helloraspberries1]

Hi Jimmy, welcome to the forums.

I know you feel so alone in this which is hard on you and can be hard on anyone but please don't feel like you are because your not. You have a support network there so that's good.

I can understand how you feel. You can never tell whether you one day you might have this and the next you have this. I'm glad you gave gone to seek help. How is that going? Is it helping? What medication are you? Do you take anything for anxiety?

The only way to get through long days is to take it one day at a time. Alot of people say that but it's true. I think it does work.

Can't remember if you said your at school? How is that? I can imagine it must be tough. I hated school and my problems were from there. Are you getting any support?

Is it school what's the issue with how your feeling or is it being at home? Does sound you need someone besides a family member there. Do you have anyone else? Friend or relative?

If you feel you need another opinion from a doctor you should go and get one. As you said you may have something completely different. If you can get any transport like a taxi or a lift from someone that would help alot. You can talk to a doctor online. Have you tried that? It does cost money. There's also online therapy too. Maybe have a look into that.

In the mean time please keep reaching out.

Take Care

Helloraspberries

[ramamramam]

I really agree with Petros's comment about that....