Hello and thank you

[Treading Water]

Hello. I am Treading Water. I am 23, live alone, and am struggling to stay sober from alcohol due to anxiety and depression that sets in when I am sober. I am on my last limb when it comes to legal situations, drunken debts, etc. but am also near my last limb when it comes to not drowning in the mental states I encounter while sober. I feel desperate for a friend in the location that I live in, yet every time I meet someone I overthink every sentence I say and end up saying something that I feel may have exposed my insecurities to the other person, so I end up feeling embarrassed, awkward, then dwell on the interaction in a depressed state for the weeks following. I am wary to start trying SSRI medications again, because I still have other drug habits (I know this is a bad idea) that could potentially interact with the medicine and cause serotonin syndrome or something equally as dangerous. I have been taken into psychiatric care three times in my life, two of which were involuntary from drug-induced psychosis. I have also received treatment at a 30 day rehab facility and also have spent time in detox centers for alcohol detox, but I seem to get stuck in this horrible scary place and to be honest, I am beginning to fear being alone with myself when I get into the really heavy moments of these dark states. Much love to everyone and thanks for reading!
-Treading Water

[Cuddlecalf]

Hey treading water,

I want to let you know people can be far more understanding than it may look like to someone who has a hard life. Like, if you let someone know why you're insecure (I would like to know!) people can understand it, you look like a very friendly person who cares so much about being valued he thinks about every sentence! Remember, that people love you for who you are and for your logic, I for instance am fairly confident I`d become your friend in an instant if I noticed you are afraid of exposing your insecurities to me, can't really phrase why. I think it's because if I notice my opinion is so valuable, and the irony that you think you're not doing well enough when in fact you're harmlessly doing your best and seem like a very nice person, it's just friendly.. Like, I live in germany, but we can be facebook friends.

Best regards
Cuddlecalf

[Helloraspberries1]

Hi and welcome.

Your story means so much to people who are going through the same problems as you. Alcohol and Drugs are two big problems alot of people face and as your sharing your story is putting the message out there they realise that they are not alone and there's someone who understands.

I see your still battling this addiction and everyday I know can be hard. It's about taking small steps and reaching out to people.

There are people what care. You shouldn't feel embarrassed or insecure about yourself as what your seeing isn't what others are seeing. You already done and amazing thing and that's by making the first step into talking to other people. What can go wrong?

I am glad your seeking help right now and appreciate you sharing your story. I hope things improve for you.

Please do keep reaching out.

Helloraspberries

[Sllim]

Hey
In my experience, I found that yes, getting off the alcohol is hard - so very hard. I built a lifestyle that centered around getting through the week to get drunk. Then you see your friends and what do you do - drink.
What I have noticed though, is if I don't drink, in the following days my mood actually feels better.

Now, I tried to slow down before stopping, so my situation sounds different from yours, but you have to start somewhere. I take it one day at a time, and I still would love a drink sometimes. But I, and you, deserve better.

Hope this helps

"Kick at the darkness, until it bleeds daylight". Bruce Cockburn