It's difficult to live each day

[kellyrebecca]

Ive only read a few of peoples stories on here. I feel like i shoudnt write casue they need more help n deserve it more than me, that hey have real reasons to be down and depressed. Mine all started a year ago, when my ex bf left me. he was my bf of two years, n we lived together too. He was everything to me, id always look at him and fink id rather die than anyone else be wiv u or for me to loose u.
I havnt been right since he left me, my mind seems heavy n clouded wth sadness, n i fake hppiness so that the friends i have got at when i go to work dont think anytings wrong. I dont no how to get out of it, i feel th because he got me into it, he cn get me out. bu he doesnt want me i find myself mailin him all the time gettin angry at him n at myself for mailing him. it makes me feel crazy but i cnt stop loviin him n cnt get over him, n its drivin me insane.
i want to live a happy life again were i dont cry for him every night.

[Obayan]

First off, we all matter. No one of us any more than another. We all count and we all matter. Pain is pain. No matter how small or how large, it's devestating and it's ok to ask for help when you need it..

Second, loss is a very hard thing to deal with. You have to grieve the loss of the person, relationships, etc. It takes time. I know that's probably not what you want to hear, but that's about it. time, patience and moving on.

We have a chat room associated with here too. You may find some comfort in there as well as in the forums.

[kellyrebecca]

ive bein tryin to move on for two years now n nothin wrks i still do have contact a lil i jus cnt seem to push myself to get rid, i kind of feel like i ned him to live.

[Obayan]

kelly, you can't put the sole resonpsibility of your living on someone else's shoulders. You can overwhelm them so badly doing that and it will always fail. I know it's not what you want to hear, but you have to find a way to get past this. Sounds like you have kinda stalled in place. Do you have a counselor that you talk to? What do you do to help you get past this?

[kellyrebecca]

ive tried cbt and anti depressants nthing seems to wrk. Ive ran out of solutions.

[Obayan]

There is always hope. There are always options. There are more things out there than cbt. And as for medications, we each have a different physiology and will react to the same meds differently. That's why it takes a period of trial and error to find the right med/combo/dosage that works for us. Please keep trying. Keep hopeing. This is one battle that is truely worth winning.

[kellyrebecca]

its great that uv taken the time to help me, im reli greatful.
id have to go to my doctors tho wudnt i, n i hate it casue its like he doesnt even listen to me and i cant tlk to him propely bout m problems.

[Obayan]

kelly, doctors are people just like us. Some good, some bad. For ever one that graduated top of his class there are 30 others that didn't. You have to shop around to find one that you are comfortable with and can work well together with.

If you are having problems talking to them, try going somewhere you can be alone, and write it all out. Get it all out on paper. The desperation. The pain. All of it. Then give them what you write. It will not only help you to get things organized and keep it straight in your mind, but will also provide some perspective into your own psychie. And it will open a lot of doors to communication.

[crystalgaze]

Hello kellyrebecca!

Yeah, break-ups can be pretty tough. One of the things I do during that time is to work on myself. For example, I plan how I'm going to cope & get through it.

I continue to dress well, etc. What I have done also is to work on my attitude. Those break-ups that I went through weren't the end of the world for me. It is possible for there to be something else ahead on the road for you.

It will take effort, but you will overcome it.

[edityou]

kellyrebecca, Try to live each moment of your life right now. Don't let your ego get the best of you and try to destroy your self. Your a loving person and you need to love yourself. You deserve to give your self a chance. Happyness only comes once in a while into our lives. Peace on mind can be a daily thing if we work on our ego.

[shatteredhopes]

(((((((kelly)))))))) big big hugs. Breakups can be crippling, I know. One thing that helped me some in the times after break ups is a book called "How to Fall Out of Love" by Dr. Debra Phillips. Its an inexpensive paperback you can get online. It takes you through a behavior modification process to get over your ex, starting with training you how to think of your ex less so less thoughts equals less pain, how to think about the person differently so is doesn't hurt so much when you do think of them, and has self-esteem building exercises and other positive things to help you move on.

Its not a panacea, but if you are still grieving for him two years later, you need to take some more aggressive action to move on maybe. Therapy and doctors can also be helpful, to help you understand why you aren't able to move on and deal with any subsequent depression.

Wishing you love and light in your day.