wind of change,good night

[xn728]

well my dearest freinds ,some of you are still down ,im sad for you ,i will carry you in my thoughts tonight ,but here am i standing up ,feeling strong and positive ,the effects of to much lithium have all but gone ,doctors idea not mine ,ive been down and rescued xn728 from, the pit ,and we stand as one again ,i feel sick at what i have become ,the poor sad man who cant raise his head when he walks down the street ,the queit man who wont raise issue with anyone even if he knows hes right ,how many days of my life must i waste ,the poor warriors who die overseas daily ,i thought of those men and mere boys ,the pain of there familys left behind ,and here i throw my days away ,how low have i become ,so today i walked down the street and in passing made eye contact
a little unerving at first ,but then relisation ,nothing was going to happen
no one was going to say what are you looking at ,no one did ,i just walked on and so did they ,i was just another person in the street ,this may not sound like much to someone else ,but this was a great mountain to climb for me ,and i feel good ,damn it man i feel good ,so i will think and do more things ,xmas i know this is a very hard time for me and many others ,but ive made my mind up ,i want to laugh and enjoy this xmas ,i want my family to see me happy and smiling and it will be real
i owe it to them and to myself ,and to you my freinds ,maybe if i show that i can do a few things for myself ,i would be nice for you to see ,if i look at the things i have around me ,im rich in love i have freinds here
everything in life i have ,apart from happiness ,for some reason i know i have this inside me ,i do i can feel it ,,i will look so hard over the coming
days ,weeks ,mnths as long as it takes ,i will find it ,once when i was at the kennels ,i felt this overwelming feeling of happiness ,it only lasted about 6 seconds or so ,but it was such a beutiful feeling i cryed ,and then it was gone ,the depression had lost its grip just for those few moments
and the happiness that had been trapped all those years burst out and flew into the air ,this is how i know its inside me somewere ,waiting for freedom ,and i will find it ,,warmie girl ,i havent shook that hand yet but i will when the chance arises ,i will keep my promise ,,,ah well i wish you all we,ll. Please feel better soon my dear freinds ,i will pray for you tonight all my dear dear freinds
shatteredhopes ,mich,lisa,crybaby,monty,hanging on,a5,aim ,crystal/onika ,warmie girl. goodnight my freinds ,,,,,,ken

[Mich]

I'm so proud of you for making eye contact today. Good night.

[crybaby1086]

Hey Ken. I am so happy that you are feeling good and strong Keep thinking those postive thought and I am sure you will have the wonderful Christmas you are dreaming about. A mantra I use is "my negative thoughts are weak and my positive thoughts are strong" it's not much but it can change the course of my thoughts. It is from a book called "The Secret". It is a book that I would recommend to anyone to read.

Good night. And sleep well my friend.

[xn728]

i think long and hard abbout things ,today i will start another journey ,the mistake i made when i have tryed this before ,is rushing ,i will walk slowly and take careful steps ,it took me 43 years to get here ,so care and patience is what i must have ,i hope you will all come with me ,if you feel you can ,your words are my strentgh ,dont forget that my dear freinds ,what you say to me ,can help my family see there wonderful
husband and father smile once more ,you all need to realise what you ALL
do for me here ,open your eyes and see what you have done for me
thankyou so much ,hope you all feel better soon ,,,,,later ken