This is alot.

[Briarpatch]

Honestly there isn't enough time ro write out a long story and let's be real. no one wants to hear mine. my life has been one bad choice after another. Some mine. Others not mine. I'm just tired. I've tried asking for help. I'm on enough meds to kill a horse. I look around me and the more I pull away the happier the people I love seem to be. To be honest I've tried doing something about it and point blank I'm really bad at it. Can't die. Can't live. I'm so unbelievably broken but I don't break down anymore. I'm so used to being hurt the thought of not having my pain scares me as much as living with it. It's all I can feel. I don't want to be told "I'm loved" or " well what about your family" or "your worth it" I don't want sympathy I don't want to get attention. I don't know what I do want honestly... maybe Just one person I don't have to smile for and tell I'm ok.