White dreams, they're just fantasies

[McShae_615]

Hi guys, I'm Michael. I was going to post in the new members forum, then I noticed you had a 'my story' bit..a little confused, I chose to put it in here, because it's kinda more of a story. I'm struggling with life atm, it's challenges are becoming more and more daunting, every flame I battle I'm getting beaten back down into submission...

I'm drinking alot recently since my girlfriend left me, the only thing I could offer that would satisfy her was a line of blow and a $50 bill to snort it with, as soon as that went dry she scarpered off, leaving me still battling my demons. The day haunts me, every one an effort to face, and what hurts the most is my own mother's disappointment. I need to ask, how long does this last? Is there any way for me to win back my mother's approval?

[xn728]

hi McShae_615 ,this is a dark and deep hole your hovering around at the moment ,and you need to step away ,before you fall in ,if you have come here for moral support ,then come on in close the door behind you ,we dont want anything bad getting in here , you can post here and we will listen and talk to you ,if you read our storys you will know who we are ,
As two how long you will have to be like this ,well i dont now but the drink wont help ,or any other lovely liquids or powders .we all suffer here but in differants ways ,you need to reach inside and think how you would like things to be ,then see if you can make any of these things happen ,it wont be easy but if you come here you will find support,the more you read and post ,the better you will feel ,when you feel you have friends who understand you ,you will have taken a big step towards making things better for yourself ,seek medical help if you can .im glad you called out to us ,i heard your wisper in the dark ,so i reached out and found your message ,welcome home , michael ,reach out and we will catch your fall
,,,xn728,,,,,,,,

[aim]

Welcome to the forums, McShae! I do apologize for the delay in answering you... it's been crazy busy at work, and I have not had the time to look through all of the new posts.

The drink definitely won't help, McShae - it is the ultimate depressant. Do you think you are drinking due to your girlfriend leaving? Or do you think it runs deeper than that?

[Monty]

Welcome Michael,

I am in complete agreement with Aim, that drinking will only make a depression worse.There might be a little high involved, but I can assure you (know you know this one already) that the low that follows isn't worth it.

You didn't mention as to whether you drank much before in your life, pre-girlfriend. Just wondering if this is a new behavior that has come about just after your breakup with your girlfriend, or if you have fallen into the overdrinking part before in your life.

I am looking forward to hearing more of your story. I also am a little bit confused if the disappointment you feel from your mother, is because of her reaction to the drinking or to your breakup with you gf.

Hang in there.

[aim]

Michael... I am not a mother, but I can tell you that a mother wants to forgive. A mother always loves her children, and a mother will be there for you when you are at your lowest. My advice would be to talk to your mom... tell her what is going on with you. Let her help you...

As for your girlfriend? Do you really want to be with someone who was using you for your ability to provide drugs to her? You sound like a nice guy is struggling to get your life back on track. Don't let anything stop you from getting what you want.

I hope you are ok. And to answer your question... clinical depression can last for a short or long period of time. Depends on the person and their situation, I think.

[Monty]

Yet again, I agree with Amy. Kind of spooky, isn't it?

I am a mother. Now I can't speak for all but I know that the closest that you can get to unconditional love, is either between a mother and child, or with your pet.

Also with her point about wanting a girlfriend who just uses you to get drugs.

Don't let her, in any way can give you the impression that you aren't a good person, who deserves good to happen to you.

You need your energy to deal with this black dog that is enveloping your life. Don't let her suck you dry.

[Haitch]

Hi Michael, I am sorry to hear you are feeling bad at the moment. I have also recently felt very low and not been able to pull myself out of it.

The site has been a great help to me though, even though it has only been about a week and the last couple of days has been manic at work so i haven't been on, just knowing this group of people are here makes me feel more confident to tackle my issues.

Drinking will make you feel better for a short time but you know it won't solve anything and the sooner you can reduce the about you are consuming the better. Easier said than done, I know, but you can do it.

Your girlfriend doesn't really sound like the best thing for you at the moment, how long were you together? She sounds like she has her own issues and with how things are at the moment you just need to look after yourself.

I am always trying to make my mum proud of me, some things are just not possible. I am trying to learn to be proud of myself though, and be confident that I am a good person and I have nothing to be ashamed of.

I hope you can visit us again and help us help you.

Haitch.