looking for a way forward

[steph09]

hi ive just joined so im new to all of this. Im 20 year old from west midlands. Ive suffered from depression for a few years and been on meds for a year and half which do not seem to of helped.
im writting this as i just want someone to talk to as im sure everyone else does im fed up of feeling alone and not having anyone to understand. To make things worse ive just moved to a dif part of country with my boyfriend away from familly and friends and now i dont think things are working. i feel so isolated and low. Im a self harmer and really try not 2 do anything daft but sometimes i feel its my only way out.

[georgiapeach]

(((((((((((((((((( steph09 ))))))))))))))))))))))
welcome here to the forums! there are many ppl here who just look for someone to talk w/ and seek advise from. fortunately for you, you came to the best place on the internet! we try our hardest here... anyways, i understand where you are coming from totally w/ the whole selfharming thing. im currently recovering from being a selfharmer, im not proud of it by all means, i have seemed to found ways that work for me and the right med combo to help my mind not think like that anymore, but sometimes it just cant help it so i wind up chatting w/ people about it. just so you know there is a chatroom associated w/ this site as well if you are interested in it. there are many ppl who go through a lot of the same issues as you, not saying all are the same, but some have similar problems. again welcome and i hope to see more posts from you in the near future!!!

[steph09]

y cant life just b simple and easy going. i feel i never get any further forward no matter what i do my life seems like a rollercoaster and i never seem to be in reality i always seem to think that life is supposed to be perfect i get an idea in my head and i dont think about it i just think lets do it will be great then i come crashing down when i realise the reality of things. What sort of things help people to overide these negative thoughts what gives u the motivation to move forward? xx

[georgiapeach]

steph, life isnt easy... idk who ever said it would be. nothing is perfect. we have to take life as it comes seriously and just try to deal one day at a time, and not try to do to many things that we cant finish/accomplish

[aim]

Hi Steph - welcome to the forums!!!

Let's see...what gives me motivation? I guess, at this point, that would be my desire to have a real future. A future filled with love, marriage, happiness and children and a career that I love. (I'm 33 years old)

But I do have to tell you that I have been in your position, and it's a tough one to get out of - but you can! I can promise you that, Steph. There's a lot of life to live out there.

What exites you, Steph? What do you love to do more than anything in the world? I understand that being depressed take away your interests (I've been there) but maybe think about something that you love/like and throw yourself into that? Just a unprofessional suggestion...

Good luck to you - always believe in yourself.

[steph09]

thats the thing ive been trying to think about for a while now i dont seem to have any real interests, theres not much i can think of that i really do love therefore me been a bit of a hermet staying in my shell and not venturing out that much. The only thing that i really want in life is to be happy with someone who loves me for who i am and doesnt want to change me. All relationships ive been in have messed with my head more. i know the best thing for me right now is to probably be on my own and not in a relationship but i just cant feel secure without one it doesent seem right to me i just want to rush into relationships and hope for the best. lets just hope something works out soon.

[aim]

I feel ya, Steph. I always felt that way too - about relationships, I mean. I felt that I was half a person without a man. Then? Finally? When I got OUT of the horrid relationship I was in and on my own? A funny thing happened... I discovered who I really was again and started to love myself. The old cliche's are true, Steph. You must love yourself before you can love another properly.

I will tell you that I struggled for a long time, but I have found someone who loves me as I am and does not try to change me. It took until I was 32, but it was well worth the wait.

Love yourself, Steph. Once you do? The rest just kind of falls into place...