trying to make sense of life.

[leigh_d101]

i dont have word to explain how i'm feeling from day to day.

I am anxious everyday.... feeling that i will make an utter fool of myself.

i cry about things that need not be cried about.

I feel like am always to blame. And that i should have seen it coming.

i sleep only 4 hours per night.

I previously had thoughts of suicide. that i would do that when i reach a certain age. I sometimes wish that something will happen to me. I sometimes wish it could have been me instead of them. Their life is worth living more than mine.

i am scared of what is happening.

I am scared of failing. Of disappointing ppl.

I am not in a relationship because of this.

i have lost my voice...

... my soul.

i dont want to give up and succumb to the loneliness that is trying to envelope me.

Nobody knows what i'm going thru. Nobody need not know.

On the surface i seem ok. But when i'm alone... then i let myself be free. I cry myself to sleep.

I am hoping tomorrow will be a better day. And that i will have to drive to go on with my life. It is still a daily struggle for me.

Will it ever be better?

[georgiapeach]

((((((((((((((( leigh_d101 )))))))))))))))))) <--- hug
welcome to the forums, things always get better in time, how better you may ask, know one really knows that answer, but a bit better is better than what it previously once was. also attached to this site is a chatroom you may be interested into visiting!! im happy you found this site. keep posting!

[leigh_d101]

thanks, georgiapeach.

maybe things will change someday.

maybe things will start looking up.

i hope i can still hold on till then.

[georgiapeach]

well leigh, all you need to do is have the will power to hold on through these tough times in life. i have faith and confidence in you!!! you can do it...

[leigh_d101]

thank you.

i think there is hope for me yet.

nobody knows i feel this way. and that i'm still fxning adequately in the real world.

i'm just sad.

...so sad.