Long story you probably won't care about

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vic23
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Long story you probably won't care about

Postby vic23 » Wed Apr 08, 2009 7:29 pm

Where do I begin? I was a victim of whats going on with the economy right now, and the company I worked for closed. 2 days after christmas, they called everyone in for an emergency meeting and told us all that that would be our last day of employment. I'd really like to talk to someone, but I don't have the money and I know with whats been going through my head I really need to speak to someone.

I finally found work. I work the graveyard shift taking any hours I can just so that I can eat. I'm 24, I'd like to finish school but theres no way I can do that right now. My main priority now is surviving. I've found that even though my job is not too challenging, I can't find the will to do it anymore. So do I not eat, or do I hold back the tears and go to work? Some weeks are better than others.

I lost my father a few years ago. He was my best friend. I never took a moment to grieve, as when I returned home I literally jumped into a new job and had been working since. I have been feeling out of control since December when my previous employer closed. I feel nervous, panicked, scared.

I have not been intimate with my boyfriend for a few weeks because I just don't feel up to it. Previously, we had a very healthy and strong relationship. I try not to tell him everything and I hold alot of stuff in.

I don't want to miss anymore work and I'm sick of feeling like this. It hurts that my boyfriend loves me and I can't bring myself to give him something as simple as a hug or even to hold his hand. It really hurts me and I know I need help.

georgiapeach
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Postby georgiapeach » Wed Apr 08, 2009 8:47 pm

((((((((((( vic ))))))))))))))))
welcome to the forums first off... im sorry to hear about how the economy is hurting you. hopefully there is a way that you can make things look up a bit. if you live in the united states have you looked into public assistance such as food stamps and medicaid if you dont have insurance. also there are programs such as heap to help with your heating bill for low income families. also there is one for your electric also. i hope this is helpful for you...

aim
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Postby aim » Thu Apr 09, 2009 2:23 pm

Vic... I too am sorry for what is going on with you. It's good that you wish to go to school - it's the best way to guarantee a future for yourself.

You can get financial aid for school - especially if your salary is on the lower side; have you looked into that?

Also, there are mental health places that can help you for free or on a sliding scale. Look up clinics, ok? Call them and find out what they can offer you. Do anything and everything to help yourself at this point.

Why do you think you don't trust your boyfriend? Is he supportive? If the answer is yes, I'm sure he would want you to share your fears and anxieties with him.

Please remember that many people are affected by this current economic crisis... you are not alone. Never alone, Vic.

Good thoughts coming your way...

vic23
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Joined: Wed Apr 08, 2009 7:16 pm

Postby vic23 » Thu Apr 09, 2009 6:36 pm

georgiapeach wrote:((((((((((( vic ))))))))))))))))
welcome to the forums first off... im sorry to hear about how the economy is hurting you. hopefully there is a way that you can make things look up a bit. if you live in the united states have you looked into public assistance such as food stamps and medicaid if you dont have insurance. also there are programs such as heap to help with your heating bill for low income families. also there is one for your electric also. i hope this is helpful for you...


Will I qualify for medicaid? Certainly, if there is an income qualification I'm sure I'm well below whats needed.

You can get financial aid for school - especially if your salary is on the lower side; have you looked into that?


I want to attend a technical training school, and the only assistance they offer is the number to a loan company.

Why do you think you don't trust your boyfriend? Is he supportive? If the answer is yes, I'm sure he would want you to share your fears and anxieties with him.


I don't think I love him anymore. All this time, I have for the most part been supporting us while he "claims" he has been looking for work since we've been together (nearly 3 years). Go ahead and call me stupid. I should have known better to even involve myself with him. I have asked for a copy of his resume to help him look, and every time we have a talk about him finding work he gets defensive.

The only thing he has contributed was selling his gaming system that I bought, along with the games that I also bought so we could pay some bills.

I hate his attitude about some things and the way he feels that he is entitled to lay in bed till noon. When I lost my job, I was up at 5 am every morning looking for work. I can only blame his mother for the way he turned out. He was raised in a single parent home, his mother lived with his grandmother and they did not leave the grandmothers house until after she passed away.

I guess I'm giving out alot of information, but theres just too much going on. I feel like why should I waste my time talking to him? What is he going to do? Oh yeah, crawl back into bed and go to sleep for 5 more hours. I thought I loved him, but it's very frustrating for me to deal with him at times.

We're both adults, I should not be supporting him.

georgiapeach
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Postby georgiapeach » Thu Apr 09, 2009 7:05 pm

vic, there is a money qualification. its if you make below a certain level you will qualify... and there are many benefits if you do qualify, such as some plans do dental and vision. not all states have that though. go to your nearest department of social services and ask for applications. check into food stamps as well. usually if you qualify for medicaid you qualify for food stamps as well. but they also look into all of your life savings as well... but check it out, it cant ever hurt!

aim
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Location: USA

Postby aim » Thu Apr 09, 2009 7:50 pm

ah vic... trust me when I tell you that I've been where you are with your boyfriend. My ex-boyfriend also had an illness called, "refuse-to-work-itis," and I supported him for five years. It's difficult when you think you love someone, and they end up disappointing you so drastically.

You are not stupid, vic. You've simply been given too much on your plate, and are having trouble dealing with it all... and rightly so!

If you'd like to know how I got out of that dead-end relationship? HE left ME, believe it or not. It was the most wonderful gift of good-bye that I've ever received.

You are not pathetic for staying with him... just human. Don't be so hard on yourself.

nerdgirl1968
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Postby nerdgirl1968 » Sat Apr 11, 2009 12:36 pm

Such a familiar story. The part about the relationship and everything it entails. yeah been there. trust me...it doesn't get better when they are like that. Mine left me also...and found himself a new MOMMY who pretty much wipes his A$$ for him. I wouldn't do it and he said I was too hard to live with so..dumped after 14 years...who is pathetic?

I think back about how hard I tried for both of us and I understand now that it was all one sided. take care of you however you can. You will run yourself into the ground taking care of the Man-Child!

aim
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Location: USA

Postby aim » Sun Apr 12, 2009 4:57 am

Yes, needgirl, it is exhausting being someone's mommy all the time... someone you did not give birth to that is! But I have found that we all must do things in our own time... I like to believe I would have dumped him in time; I also believe that is one of the reasons he left me; because he knew it was coming. But it's scary to get out there again, isn't it?

I have to say, their were only two good things that came out of the long relationship from hell. The first being my dog :-) The second is that he was such a loser and an un-appreciative bastard that now that I am with a wonderful man, I can only appreciate him more! This ex-boyfriend taught me exactly what I do not want in a partner... my current boyfriend is teaching me everything I do want. It's lovely.

Don't be afraid to get out there and date again - you will become pleasantly surprised that there is a MAN, not a little boy waiting to love you the way you deserve. Again... take if from someone who has experienced it first hand.

Now? I consider myself very lucky. I endured years of being treated like a dirty dish rag; now I'm being treated like a woman who deserves to be loved and cherished. It's out there!!!

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Warmsoul/Jeanie13
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Postby Warmsoul/Jeanie13 » Sun Apr 12, 2009 10:26 am

Yes Amy, pleased it is 'lovely' ... what more to say? Glad he is all that you need, and sure that things will turn out just fine.

((((((((((((((( vic )))))))))))))))))))))

My heart goes out to you. Have you checked on student loans to complete your education? Can you work classes around the hours you are having to work now.

Lost my parents to cancer, that is such a blow, even when everything is going as it should. There will be times, for whatever reason, that will come back and tug at your heart.

Could you open up and let your boyfriend know these feelings that you are dealing with? Just a thought.

Will keep thoughts with you....post away, it helps to vent.

Warmie/Jeanie

aim
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Postby aim » Sun Apr 12, 2009 2:39 pm

Appreciate that, Jeanie. :-)

Student loans are a great way to invest in your future. And do remember... it's never too late to get your college degree. I did in 8 years what most do in 4 - got my diploma! I went part-time at night while I worked during the day, but I finally did do it.

The moral is... there is always a way! It's difficult sometimes, but it's there. Good luck to you with that!!!

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Warmsoul/Jeanie13
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Postby Warmsoul/Jeanie13 » Sun Apr 12, 2009 5:58 pm

YW Amy, what more is there to say?

(((((((((( Vic ))))))))))))))

An old saying, "if there is a will, there is a way"


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