i dunno what to do ...

[painted_glad2cu]

I don't really know how to start this all off but i'm gonna just start saying how i've been feeling and what i'd done. I have been feeling really really down lately and i can't seem to get away from always feeling blue. I cry a lot now. Its like almost everything just makes me want to cry. I can watch something on tv with someone crying and it makes me cry. Im not really that much of an emotional person but its like crying is all i can do now. I don't like to talk about how i feel because i don't really know how to come about talking to someone about it. Plus its my deep thoughts i don't know if i want anyone to know because i want my friends and family to see me how i use to be happy and outgoing. But its getting a lil noticable that i'm loosing my spark. I actually tried to reach out to my mom and the only thing she said to me is i don't know what to tell you i feel depressed too. And that was it. I asked her for advice if i should talk to someone just anything tryin to kinda reach out and thats all she had to say. It really upset me caz thats my mom. But all well. I actually made myself an appt. to talk to a therapist and it went well. I only made it to one appt. and it was kinda hard for me to open up. I'm scared to tell her everything because i'm scared they are gonna put me in a mental hospital. I have thoughts that i wish i could just drive my car into something to just get away but its something i would never do. How you hear someone get so frustrated and mad. they say something like grr i wish i was dead sometimes. Its like that. I'm not saying i'm gonna harm myself. But i'm scared to tell her something like that caz she can put me there if she was to think i would. I am curious if maybe medications would help with my mood. I can't consintrate at work i'm getting close to losing my job. I get upset easily. I am really irritable. I don't like going out, talking to friends as much, and doing hobbies i use to love. I'm just not sure how to talk to the therapist about it caz i don't want to come off like i'm a junky or something. Sounds crazy i guess but i'm serious. I just don't know what to do anymore and i i'm getting to the point where i'm tired of tryin to act like everything is fine and i'm happy. I don't want to act anymore i want to be happy, confident, outgoing, and friendly as i use to be. I miss my old self and i don't know how i lost it.

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

Hi painted_glad2cu

As far as medication, perhaps talk with your doctor, explain how you are feeling, go from there.

For support, depression understood has a wonderful chat room connected to it. People that do understand, don't judge, gives wonderful support. The knowledge, experiences they share does help so much. Hope you come visit there, meet the chatters.

Just talking with others that traveling the same path helps more than you know.

Warmie