help? advice? please?

[kiatami_chan]

this is my story:

My parents got divorced when i was about 2.
i lived with my mom until i was 5, when she got arrested for drug abuse. i lived with my dad with weekend visitation rights for my mom at a drug/alcohol rehab called Crossroads. I was basically raised by the people in the house, it's quite funny really. My mom is now clean and sober and has been for about 9 years. She moved back in with my dad in '04 and we were all a big semi-happy family until about 2 years ago. You see my dad is a heavy drinker and I was too young to realize that it was actually something that was serious, something that would destroy my family and my own psyche. My mom has a lot of medical problems and she hasn't been able to get work so my dad took it out on her and would say that she wasn't "contributing", and let's just say that i haven't seen my mom cry more in these past 2 years then i have in my whole life. my mom isn't a very emotional person so this scared me so much to know that something was really wrong. I believed that it was my fault that my mom was in this situation so i started to cut myself because of it. i stopped with the help of my now non-exsistant friends and i haven't since. but just recently my greatest fear was realized. my mom left and she isn't coming back. i haven't slept in about 4 days and i haven't talked to anyone. i do NOT want to go back to cutting.
some advice would be helpful and maybe i can help you.

Love,
Kiatami

[aim]

Oh, Kiatami, I'm so sorry for your situation! My father was an alcoholic too, and I also saw my mother cry quite a bit due to it. Please listen when I say this... NONE OF THIS IS YOUR FAULT. Not your mother's drug use, your father's drinking, or your mother leaving. She left because of your dad, not you. Can you find her? Reach out to her?

And good for you for stopping the cutting and for your desire not to begin doing that again. Try anything and everything, Kiatami not to cut yourself, ok? I'm sorry I can't give much advice on stopping, as that it not something I've ever dealt with.

I wonder how old you are... can you seek help for yourself on your own? Is there another relative you can live with, perhaps? Just a few suggestions... please don't ever give up on yourself, ok? You sound like a very strong person who has been through a lot in a very young life. It's not fair - but there are things and organizations that can help you. If you want me to tell you some... please let me know. (((((((((((((((Kiatami)))))))))))) Hugs to you...

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

((((((((( kiatami_chan )))))))))))))))))

You heart is in the right place, wanting to help both your parents.

Just wanted to let you know I have read and you are in my thoughts.

Perhaps talk with your doctor or minister and get some guidance from them? Just a suggestion.

Warmie