Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.

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Joined: Sat Jul 28, 2018 2:21 am


Postby anonymoushaha » Sat Jul 28, 2018 2:32 am

Why am I so dumb? I feel like the most stupidest person in the world. No matter how I keep getting hurt I keep trusting people. You might have heard people that have trust issues. I have trust issues too, just the opposite. I trust people too much and it hurts me in the end. I guess my biggest fear is that'll be alone, so I do whatever they want, I say whatever they want and I tell them everything to make them like me and to make them stay. But eventually they leave and I grow attached to them even if they left. Once they're bored or got their information, they leave. I want to not trust anyone ever again. I think convince myself that I trust people too much because I'm a nice person but honestly I'm just dumb. I want to be emotionless so that I don't have to feel this feeling. This feeling of loneliness and emptiness. And when I'm with my friends I laugh and pretend that I'm happy. They don't notice but the second they leave the room I sigh and I feel so tried from pretending. Have you heard of emotion suppression? I read about it once. I want to do it. I don't care that it'll give me problems later on. I just want to be ok now

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Joined: Thu Dec 20, 2018 4:40 pm

Re: trust

Postby purpleheart » Thu Dec 20, 2018 8:48 pm

Hello trust, (hope you don’t mind me calling you that)
I’d like to first start off by thanking you. Honestly you have so much courage to be able to express that. I’m sorry it has taken quite some time for anyone to add to your topic. I’m honored to have been given the time to tell you that you are not alone in this.

You said, “I want to be emotionless so that I don't have to feel this feeling.“

I can so relate to these crushing feelings. Deep down inside you just want to be you. To be accepted as you. To be appreciated as you and to be loved for simply being you. You know you did everything in your power to be that person for everyone you met (whatever it is that they might need) but unfortunately not everyone has the same energy that you do. I know it crushes our spirits when we look for ourselves in others (meaning we look to find someone we gives us the same energy that we put out). Some might call it love but I disagree. Cause if it was that simple positive energy will flow all around us and no one would grow tiresome of it when the playing fields are leveled and equal)

What I am saying trust, is to continue believing. Continue believing even if you don’t see it. Cause before today. I never knew anyone who has the same qualities I possess. The same conflicts. And the same drive to keep hope alive.

Thank you for sharing.

Feel free to PM anytime

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