Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.

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Joined: Wed May 16, 2018 9:36 am


Postby sad.panda » Wed May 16, 2018 10:00 am

Hey guys. I'm new here and this is my first post.
Just remembered something from my childhood and I realized that I'm done with keeping my feelings to myself.

It was probably my 10th birthday. I'm not 100% sure. I coincidentally happened to be at my maternal grandparents place. My family decided to hold a small get together there. Now my paternal grandmother is a really horrible person. ( I wanted to use a curse word. Not really a fan of cursing though, plus I don't think its allowed here ). I sometimes wonder if my father is her real son or not.

Anyways, she created a scene on the phone and didn't come over. Everyone was upset. I knew about this drama but I pretended not to. After the party, when I went to change, I remember that I cried a lot. Thought that if it wasn't for me, none of the bad things would have happened. I wished that I didn't exist anymore.
That was the first time (as far as I remember ) that I fantasized about a world where I didn't exist.

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