dealing with my girlfriends depression
Posted: Thu May 03, 2018 5:08 am
Hi,
I guess I'm using this as more of an outlet for everything I'm thinking, any advise would be great as well.
I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for a year now, the first 10 months were nothing short of spectacular, we fell for each other almost instantly, we spoke about everything in our lives and shes the first person ive ever been so honest with, we had so many laughs and trips together and truly were best friends.
this was a long distance relationship and towards the end of the year we decided id move closer to be with her and from then we decided to live together, we were both so excited at this prospect, we had even discussed marriage.
then 2 months ago she started to become distant, not as affectionate (she is an extremely affectionate person normally) and found it hard to spend time together, we had the pressures of decorating a house, plus i was looking for work and she had a lot of her own work stresses, so the distance i just put down to stress.
then 3 weeks ago the distance went up a notch to almost non-existent, again the stress of work for her had increased so i just tried to give her space and support her as much as possible.
A week later she told me she had been really struggling and thinks she may be suffering from depression, i.e. she doesn't feel anything at all, she just feels numb towards everything in her life, i was absolutely heartbroken by this knowing the woman i love is hurting so much.
I told her that i am here for her and will support her through this for as long as it takes, having had a bout of depression myself I know not to press the matter or smother her so i said she can have the space she needs and ill be there for her.
the last week has been the worst yet, she has told me we shouldn't live together and thinks it would be good if i got my own place and go back to dating again, she doesn't want to split up but thinks she needs to go back to when we were happiest, I have agreed to this and feel it would be a good move for us, especially as she needs her own space at the moment.
Its just a very heartbreaking time for the both of us, her own depression is hurting her and in turn from my point of view I'm heartbroken to as 4 weeks ago we were choosing flooring for our home and now i am viewing properties alone.
i love her with all my heart and ive decided to stick by her and support her thorugh this time, im well aware depression can cause loss of feelings and im also aware things might never be the same.
im just terrified all this is leading towards losing her completely. as much as i know alot of this is the depression talking i still cant help but blame myself or think is there something i could have done differently.
i just want her to be ok and happy and its killing me knowing i might not be a part of that happiness moving forwards.
I guess I'm using this as more of an outlet for everything I'm thinking, any advise would be great as well.
I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for a year now, the first 10 months were nothing short of spectacular, we fell for each other almost instantly, we spoke about everything in our lives and shes the first person ive ever been so honest with, we had so many laughs and trips together and truly were best friends.
this was a long distance relationship and towards the end of the year we decided id move closer to be with her and from then we decided to live together, we were both so excited at this prospect, we had even discussed marriage.
then 2 months ago she started to become distant, not as affectionate (she is an extremely affectionate person normally) and found it hard to spend time together, we had the pressures of decorating a house, plus i was looking for work and she had a lot of her own work stresses, so the distance i just put down to stress.
then 3 weeks ago the distance went up a notch to almost non-existent, again the stress of work for her had increased so i just tried to give her space and support her as much as possible.
A week later she told me she had been really struggling and thinks she may be suffering from depression, i.e. she doesn't feel anything at all, she just feels numb towards everything in her life, i was absolutely heartbroken by this knowing the woman i love is hurting so much.
I told her that i am here for her and will support her through this for as long as it takes, having had a bout of depression myself I know not to press the matter or smother her so i said she can have the space she needs and ill be there for her.
the last week has been the worst yet, she has told me we shouldn't live together and thinks it would be good if i got my own place and go back to dating again, she doesn't want to split up but thinks she needs to go back to when we were happiest, I have agreed to this and feel it would be a good move for us, especially as she needs her own space at the moment.
Its just a very heartbreaking time for the both of us, her own depression is hurting her and in turn from my point of view I'm heartbroken to as 4 weeks ago we were choosing flooring for our home and now i am viewing properties alone.
i love her with all my heart and ive decided to stick by her and support her thorugh this time, im well aware depression can cause loss of feelings and im also aware things might never be the same.
im just terrified all this is leading towards losing her completely. as much as i know alot of this is the depression talking i still cant help but blame myself or think is there something i could have done differently.
i just want her to be ok and happy and its killing me knowing i might not be a part of that happiness moving forwards.