This is the story of me Graywolf
Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2018 5:12 pm
I am just a simple man with simple needs. I just need to be better from this illness called depression. My story is one of incredible misfortune and circumstances. It all started in October of 2016 and is still unbearable.
I went to the local quick care because I was having trouble breathing. They check my blood pressure and it was stroke level 167/209 they could not see how I was still standing. So they sent me on to the hospital. Finally got to a hospital that would take my insurance, Thank you Obama care, 7 1/2 afrer I got to go to the right hospital, because the quiet care sent me to the nearest hospital that could treat me. So they sent me to the right hospital 2 hours away. So there I was in the hospital not knowing what was going on. The doctor sent me for testing and it wasn't good. It was a heart attack and get a double bypass for a consolation prize.
Out of the hospital 15 days later, I go for my first check up and the doctor want me to have a primary doctor. So I found a good on and she sent me to a lung and breathing specialist, diagnoses COPD, then she sent me to the pain clinic. My back stared killing me, so I went for a MRI that wasn't good they found 2 bulging disc 1 herniated 2 pinched nerves and 2 disc totally gone because I didn't know it but I've got D.D.D. in my back and its getting worse. So next week I go to a sergon to look at my options. The pain clinic tried epidural shots and they didn't work. One of the doctors at the pain clinic said he knew they wouldn't but we had to do that to get to the sergon.
Now I've been out of work for over a year and five months. I'm waiting to get my disability started. I can't get it to go any faster, and I'm about to loose everything I worked so hard for. I can't even provide for my family like I used to. I can't do anything like I used to. I don't even feel like a man any more because I can't even make sweet love to my wife of 24 years. They won't let me have the little blue pills because of my heart and blood pressure conditions.
People say I know how you feel. I'm sorry but you don't know anything about how I feel, because you are not me. Something small to you may be a giant mountain to me, and it goes the other way to.
My feelings, some folks ask me my feelings. I can't answer them truly. They would never speak to me ever again. So I keep them inside, yes inside is best for me. I try to have a smile on my face even though I'm crying on the inside. If they knew the thought that go through my mind, I would be labeled a mental monster. It is not by choice that I feel like this, purely a victim of circumstance.
So now what do I do.........
I went to the local quick care because I was having trouble breathing. They check my blood pressure and it was stroke level 167/209 they could not see how I was still standing. So they sent me on to the hospital. Finally got to a hospital that would take my insurance, Thank you Obama care, 7 1/2 afrer I got to go to the right hospital, because the quiet care sent me to the nearest hospital that could treat me. So they sent me to the right hospital 2 hours away. So there I was in the hospital not knowing what was going on. The doctor sent me for testing and it wasn't good. It was a heart attack and get a double bypass for a consolation prize.
Out of the hospital 15 days later, I go for my first check up and the doctor want me to have a primary doctor. So I found a good on and she sent me to a lung and breathing specialist, diagnoses COPD, then she sent me to the pain clinic. My back stared killing me, so I went for a MRI that wasn't good they found 2 bulging disc 1 herniated 2 pinched nerves and 2 disc totally gone because I didn't know it but I've got D.D.D. in my back and its getting worse. So next week I go to a sergon to look at my options. The pain clinic tried epidural shots and they didn't work. One of the doctors at the pain clinic said he knew they wouldn't but we had to do that to get to the sergon.
Now I've been out of work for over a year and five months. I'm waiting to get my disability started. I can't get it to go any faster, and I'm about to loose everything I worked so hard for. I can't even provide for my family like I used to. I can't do anything like I used to. I don't even feel like a man any more because I can't even make sweet love to my wife of 24 years. They won't let me have the little blue pills because of my heart and blood pressure conditions.
People say I know how you feel. I'm sorry but you don't know anything about how I feel, because you are not me. Something small to you may be a giant mountain to me, and it goes the other way to.
My feelings, some folks ask me my feelings. I can't answer them truly. They would never speak to me ever again. So I keep them inside, yes inside is best for me. I try to have a smile on my face even though I'm crying on the inside. If they knew the thought that go through my mind, I would be labeled a mental monster. It is not by choice that I feel like this, purely a victim of circumstance.
So now what do I do.........