Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.

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Postby Ms.Sheep » Tue Mar 20, 2018 6:37 pm

I've found that when I am alone for long periods of time (like spring or winter break and sometimes the weekends) all my 'symptoms' get 10x worse. During winter break (3 weeks off) and thanksgiving break (1 week off) I felt awful. During winter break I kept considering suicide and for the rest of January and part of February it felt like I couldn't enjoy life anymore. It felt like there was no point in doing anything. When I'm in the shower and I don't have the constant distraction that is my tablet, all I can think about is negative things. Although during school, I don't feel quite as bad. (Although my negative feelings still do persist) I guess it's because I don't have the time to sink into sadness and self hatred. Or it's because I often think how pathetic I'm being since everyone at school is doing just fine but I am the only one who can't control their emotions.
With spring and summer break coming up, I don't want to get worse. Right now I'm in a fairly good place to start talking to people about what's been going on and to (hopefully) find ways get better. Does anyone have any tips for dealing with times like these? I would also like to know if this is normal (to get worse if you are alone). Thanks.

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Joined: Mon May 22, 2017 9:06 am

Re: Alone

Postby lovingladyo4 » Thu Mar 22, 2018 9:37 am

My heart goes out to you dear friend, and I'm glad you reached out to connect with others.

Fighting yourself as if you were your own adversary is debilitating and I too at one time experienced feelings of failure and despair that accompany such a journey through life. I used to stay trapped inside my own inabilities, and the problem always seemed to escalate before there were ever any signs of improvement. So I understand where you're coming from.

If you ever find yourself contemplating suicide, have this number plugged into your phone, and be ready to call in a heartbeat.
It's the first one on the list:

I am not a doctor or a counselor, but I have done my homework and have learned a lot about what a person can do to either lessen the affects of depression, or reverse it altogether. There are emotional and physical sides to depression, and while treating just one over the other may not resolve the problem completely, it can help bring you back into control, and help you measure progress. If you'd like to talk a little bit more about that, let me know.

It looks to me that you do better when you are either staying busy, connected to an activity, or connected to people. I'm thinking that getting a little more involved with others may be a life-line that can help pull you up to a place where you feel better about yourself. I think you are being wise to look ahead and plan for taking care of yourself during the breaks coming up. There are so many forums online these days, so perhaps you can become a member of a few, so you always have somewhere to go for meaningful conversation. Many of them are chats, so there is continual ongoing dialog between you and the group. Much of our meaning in life comes through relationships, and from knowing our worth through them.

Have you ever considered taking a community class somewhere? Like yoga? Painting? Crafts? Hiking? Things like that? That way, when you get together, you already have something in common with those attending. Your local recreation center or local community colleges and even your local library usually offer a wide range of topics. Maybe you'd find some interesting. Also, many Bible believing churches have women's groups, specifically designed to bring people together for encouragement and support. No one does well going through life feeling detached from others. We need each other to keep us moving forward. Classes will give you something to look forward to.

Please protect yourself and do not be afraid to reach out for help like you are doing here. There are so many loving and kind people in this world, and I will pray that God allows you to cross paths with some that can build you up as a person and help you see how valuable you are.

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Joined: Tue Mar 20, 2018 10:05 pm

Re: Alone

Postby foreverbeach11 » Thu Mar 22, 2018 7:21 pm

Hi Ms. Sheep. Sometimes during the winter months it's hard to stay positive. A lot of people experience the "winter blues." I think it is good that you are reaching out for help. I am sorry you are going through this. Things will get better for you. Have you thought about filling your free time up with things that you like to do? When we have other things to focus on it changes our negative thoughts into positive thoughts.
Have you thought about maybe hanging out with your friends or inviting them to your house? You have a lot to live for and you have a lot to offer to other people. I care about you and my hope is that things get better and you don't have to experience this feeling anymore. Have you considered talking to your parents or a school counselor? Maybe they can help you find an answer to why you are feeling this way. You have a bright future! Wishing you the best.

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