I'm don't have a social life. I feel alone.
Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2018 8:30 pm
So the title pretty much says it all. I don't have to social life I used to have. I just don't.
Last year I went to public school for my freshman year. My brother would always stand out, he would wear a suit around twice a week. We live in not the richest neighborhood, so it was rare to see someone wearing a suit out of nowhere. I was known as suit guy's sister for my entire freshman year. I felt like i belonged. I was wanted. Worth something. So as you can imagine I was known by many and fit in with my brother's friends well. I was also known as the go to for peoples problems in my group of friends. My graduating class knew me fairly well, and I was just well known around the school. I would hang out with my brother's friends, the nerds, my friends, the "popular" kids, and my bf, the wanna be thug type of guys. So I fit in with a lot of people. I. Finally. Belonged.
Okay so take all of that. Throw it away. In a trash can. Burn the trash can. Tell the person "it'll be back soon" and burn it again. That was me.
I was so sick of being depressed. I would take everybody's problems and emotions and not know what to do with the negative effects. Therefore i became depressed and suicidal and all that stuff. We started to look at other options, other places I can go to school but still have friends and a good high school experience. Home schooling with my 2 "sisters" looked like a good option. The program they were in had them going on campus 2 days a week, the rest at home online. Hell yeah! I thought we would have home coming like the school office said. Nope. Yearbook? Yeah you'll have it! Nope. Lunch? Bring your own food and eat whenever. Cool! Unlimited friend hangout time! Nope.
See where i'm going with this? I had it all. The brother, being worth something, president elect of the Make A Wish club, I had my bf I could see everyday. I had my friends I could go to. All of that was promised at the new school. All of that was a lie. I don't remember the last time I've hung out with friends. I don't have social media at 16, parents still control that. I just call and text my bf secretly and that's it. It's so depressing to me that I go to bed crying most nights. People wonder why I cry every night well there it is. I miss my friends. I miss my bf. I miss my old school. I miss my life. I want it back. People said I would still have it at this school. Those sons of bitches lied.
Last year I went to public school for my freshman year. My brother would always stand out, he would wear a suit around twice a week. We live in not the richest neighborhood, so it was rare to see someone wearing a suit out of nowhere. I was known as suit guy's sister for my entire freshman year. I felt like i belonged. I was wanted. Worth something. So as you can imagine I was known by many and fit in with my brother's friends well. I was also known as the go to for peoples problems in my group of friends. My graduating class knew me fairly well, and I was just well known around the school. I would hang out with my brother's friends, the nerds, my friends, the "popular" kids, and my bf, the wanna be thug type of guys. So I fit in with a lot of people. I. Finally. Belonged.
Okay so take all of that. Throw it away. In a trash can. Burn the trash can. Tell the person "it'll be back soon" and burn it again. That was me.
I was so sick of being depressed. I would take everybody's problems and emotions and not know what to do with the negative effects. Therefore i became depressed and suicidal and all that stuff. We started to look at other options, other places I can go to school but still have friends and a good high school experience. Home schooling with my 2 "sisters" looked like a good option. The program they were in had them going on campus 2 days a week, the rest at home online. Hell yeah! I thought we would have home coming like the school office said. Nope. Yearbook? Yeah you'll have it! Nope. Lunch? Bring your own food and eat whenever. Cool! Unlimited friend hangout time! Nope.
See where i'm going with this? I had it all. The brother, being worth something, president elect of the Make A Wish club, I had my bf I could see everyday. I had my friends I could go to. All of that was promised at the new school. All of that was a lie. I don't remember the last time I've hung out with friends. I don't have social media at 16, parents still control that. I just call and text my bf secretly and that's it. It's so depressing to me that I go to bed crying most nights. People wonder why I cry every night well there it is. I miss my friends. I miss my bf. I miss my old school. I miss my life. I want it back. People said I would still have it at this school. Those sons of bitches lied.