I'm don't have a social life. I feel alone.

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Tears
Posts: 7
Joined: Mon Dec 18, 2017 2:31 am

I'm don't have a social life. I feel alone.

Postby Tears » Thu Jan 04, 2018 8:30 pm

So the title pretty much says it all. I don't have to social life I used to have. I just don't.

Last year I went to public school for my freshman year. My brother would always stand out, he would wear a suit around twice a week. We live in not the richest neighborhood, so it was rare to see someone wearing a suit out of nowhere. I was known as suit guy's sister for my entire freshman year. I felt like i belonged. I was wanted. Worth something. So as you can imagine I was known by many and fit in with my brother's friends well. I was also known as the go to for peoples problems in my group of friends. My graduating class knew me fairly well, and I was just well known around the school. I would hang out with my brother's friends, the nerds, my friends, the "popular" kids, and my bf, the wanna be thug type of guys. So I fit in with a lot of people. I. Finally. Belonged.

Okay so take all of that. Throw it away. In a trash can. Burn the trash can. Tell the person "it'll be back soon" and burn it again. That was me.

I was so sick of being depressed. I would take everybody's problems and emotions and not know what to do with the negative effects. Therefore i became depressed and suicidal and all that stuff. We started to look at other options, other places I can go to school but still have friends and a good high school experience. Home schooling with my 2 "sisters" looked like a good option. The program they were in had them going on campus 2 days a week, the rest at home online. Hell yeah! I thought we would have home coming like the school office said. Nope. Yearbook? Yeah you'll have it! Nope. Lunch? Bring your own food and eat whenever. Cool! Unlimited friend hangout time! Nope.

See where i'm going with this? I had it all. The brother, being worth something, president elect of the Make A Wish club, I had my bf I could see everyday. I had my friends I could go to. All of that was promised at the new school. All of that was a lie. I don't remember the last time I've hung out with friends. I don't have social media at 16, parents still control that. I just call and text my bf secretly and that's it. It's so depressing to me that I go to bed crying most nights. People wonder why I cry every night well there it is. I miss my friends. I miss my bf. I miss my old school. I miss my life. I want it back. People said I would still have it at this school. Those sons of bitches lied.

lisamarieh
Posts: 7
Joined: Sat Jan 06, 2018 6:59 am

Re: I'm don't have a social life. I feel alone.

Postby lisamarieh » Sat Jan 06, 2018 7:26 am

I’m sorry you feel that way hun, you need to clearly express everything but without emotion, if that’s possible, to your parents. To your old friends, to your siblings, to everyone, you need to express yourself, they will help you find the right solution. Can you not just go back to your old life? Xx

Tears
Posts: 7
Joined: Mon Dec 18, 2017 2:31 am

Re: I'm don't have a social life. I feel alone.

Postby Tears » Sun Jan 07, 2018 3:00 am

Well my parents know where I stand. Very clearly. There was one point I was so frustrated with my homeschooling hw I had a break down. I was throwing pillows, crying, yelling, at one point I threw my laptop. It was about 8 o'clock when this happened. My mom took me for, as any teenage girl can relate, an emergency ice cream run. Not even 1 minute into trying to hide my own tears, I broke down crying and explained it all to my mom. My parents had a sit down with me a few days later and I repeated everything to my dad. Then we all made an agreement that if I make good grades, i'm able to go back. The program i'm with doesn't have the final grades until 2 weeks before report cards, that's when the 3 Key Assignments are factored in. Basically, I have 2 finals and 3 midterms per semester. For each class. So I feel like that deal is impossible for me to live up to, but that's the only way they are considering taking me back to my old school.
I wish I could express my feelings to my old friends, but some of them don't have a phone, and ofc they are the ones who saved my life when I wanted to jump off the stairs at school. I just wish I could go back. So badly.
Thanks for the advice, means a lot! Xx


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