Depression Understood Forums

Oh yeah that's
Right

Hi Bryan,

I see my younger self in your post so I want to put in my 2 cents.
Like you, I was raised with morals, taught to be nice, helpful and all, but was awkward and had few friends. In fact I'm still awkward to this day and friends remain a luxury.

One thing I've learned the hard way: there's a huge difference between "being nice" and "trying to please." Mixing these two up was why I had such a hard time trying to socialize. Further mistaking attention for affection didn't help. Somehow, being nice involves disguising oneself to a certain extent. Sometimes I wanted to say NO, but hey, that was "not nice," which should really mean that would "fail to please." In the end, resentment is bound to build up because I go against my own will while trying to please. And people who compromise too often cannot be happy. That you said people prey on you for being nice pretty much shows how much you've compromised, otherwise you wouldn't have felt preyed on. Since being nice (trying to please) has failed to get you friends, maybe it's time to try a different strategy. Maybe start with working to accept yourself for who and what you are, because people will judge you anyway, might as well just be true to yourself and do what makes you feel good (provided it's not against the law of course).

Oh yeah that's
Right huh