New here, and thank you

Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.

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Joined: Fri Dec 08, 2017 9:19 pm

New here, and thank you

Postby Dizzie » Fri Dec 08, 2017 10:35 pm

I don't know where to begin, I just need to get this off my chest. I would not say I suffer from depression but I am quite sad alot (off and on through the years) and have had panick attacks these last few years.
I am over 4 years divorced from an abusive woman of a 7 year marriage. I had a good job in retail that I made my life. I am a Christian and do trust and have faith in God, still I am human. I'm also an introvert and it is mentally taxing to be sociable even in church.
For the past year the lack of companionship has become quite overwhelming. I have gone on dates but there was nothing there, so I just concentrated on work, eat, and sleep. Until this past August.
I lost my job, then a month later I lost my house. No place to go, no job to be found, and no one (physically with me) to help. Truly a time to find out who your friends are. I was lost. I moved out of sunny Florida back to my birth place, the last place I wanted to live in again, where 3 of my siblings are.
During this time I had joined an online dating site to occupy my mind and to alleviate my state of depression-at least that's what I convinced myself.
When in fact I found myself falling for a woman from another continent. After a few months of video chat, phone calls, regular chat at least 40 times a day I find out she is much younger than her posted age. I'm older than her father. Before you ask, no I could not tell because she does look much older and talks as one who has gone through hell.
Regardless my online relationship is over, not due to the age difference because after all I did fall for her before I knew her age. I ended it because she started acting like my ex-wife.
So here I am. Still jobless, feeling like a burden on my family. Still lonely, but not as bad. I notice the loneliness: when I go to bed, wake in the morning, and more so when I come home and realize I have no one to talk with.
Sometimes the lack of having that one special woman to share my life with, to love and be loved, becomes overwhelming. As I said before my faith is in God and I know He will help. But I am still human.
I wanted to thank everyone here. I read about two months worth on this forum before I signed up. For those who have wrote in with their problems, thank you because you have reinforced that someone is going through a more difficult time. And those of you who have responded to them, thank you for your compassion.

Posts: 62
Joined: Wed Aug 30, 2017 5:47 am
Location: Argentina, [email protected]

Re: New here, and thank you

Postby DiegoArgentina92 » Sat Dec 09, 2017 8:02 am

Hi, i read your message, just wanted to send you some feedback. Maybe you can still try with meeting sites, are ton in facebook, try some fbook groups. And if you feel lonely maybe some chatrooms, this forum have a chatroom but is pretty lame, people doesnt talk with you and finish being useless. But good luck. Try fbook groups.

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Re: New here, and thank you

Postby JonsDragonEyes » Sat Dec 09, 2017 11:33 am

Hi there Dizzie. It's nice to meet you. My name is Star like a star in the night time sky. Welcome to the forums. It's a really nice place here I hope you like it. I know how you feel about the whole online thing. I talked to someone for eleven years online and I still have no idea if they were for real with me or not. It's tough. That lonely feeling that comes along with it is the worst.

I hope you keep coming back on here whenever you need to.

Love and Hugs always to you

"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place, and I don't care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; how much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that! -- Rocky Balboa

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Joined: Sat Dec 09, 2017 11:59 am

Re: New here, and thank you

Postby Wubbalubbadubdub » Sat Dec 09, 2017 12:12 pm

Hello there It sounds like you have a lot more life experience than me, but I think we may be feeling similarly. I have PTSD and a depressive disorder. I find it very difficult to connect with people and am very lonely. Events in my past caused me to develop trust issues, so I feel disconnected from everyone. I came on here to post my story but I saw yours and now I'm wondering if I'm not so alone in that regard...
You're not as alone as you feel.

Posts: 2
Joined: Fri Dec 08, 2017 9:19 pm

Re: New here, and thank you

Postby Dizzie » Sat Dec 09, 2017 7:16 pm

Thank you Star for the warm welcome, wow 11 years is quite the commitment. Diego thank you for your suggestion but online romance is just a reminder for me of the lack of human connection. Wubbalubbadubdub, ironic is it not that we are not alone yet still lonely? Just writing here on this forum is therapeutic, maybe you try writing your story.
One thing I have learned from recent events, after an ugly marriage and failed online romance, is that I am able to love another. Also that I deserve to be loved.

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