Do I have depression or just feeling down?

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Lukey.123
Posts: 3
Joined: Thu Dec 07, 2017 6:07 pm

Do I have depression or just feeling down?

Postby Lukey.123 » Thu Dec 07, 2017 6:20 pm

I don’t actually know if I have depression or anything I just need clarification anyway my name is luke I’m 18 and I’m gay my family is very traditional and If I told them they would disown me I feel like everyone will see me differently but at the same time I can’t be myself. I don’t know what it is I just feel like nothing, what is the point in what I’m doing I look at my friends and they are off doing stuff with there lives and I’ve done nothing with mine I’m failing my course at college I feel like I can’t tell anyone because I’m am just bothering them I just don’t know what’s wrong with me? I often have thought about ending it but I just can’t bring myself to do that to the people I love I’m not sure what to do

ayoung73
Posts: 8
Joined: Wed Jul 19, 2017 5:56 pm

Re: Do I have depression or just feeling down?

Postby ayoung73 » Mon Dec 11, 2017 6:31 pm

https://list.ly/list/1CE4-looking-up-from-the-stubborn-darkness, listen, you are important and more people than you realize need you around! Don’t ever compare yourself to others, I can always find someone doing better than me, envy and greed will eat you alive! I would suggest going through the list I provided, I think some of it is applicable, and yes, I think you might be suffering from depression.

I don’t know if you realize this, but a great many people have considered ending their life at one time or another. I was a police officer for over 20 years and there were times, all the death, violence, and depravity…it began to weigh heavily upon my soul! I couldn’t take it, there were several personal failures and I did the same thing…look at my friends, we started off at the same time and she’s a commander, he’s a captain and so on. It’s a cancer, don’t do it!

In regards to your family, well, if they love you they’ll accept you for who you are! Give them a chance, don’t put them in a box without allowing them to decide for themselves. Who knows, they may surprise and be able to help you in ways unimaginable! Don’t do it, suicide isn’t the answer, you seem like a strong person and we need people like you…keep us posted.

Lukey.123
Posts: 3
Joined: Thu Dec 07, 2017 6:07 pm

Re: Do I have depression or just feeling down?

Postby Lukey.123 » Mon Dec 11, 2017 6:48 pm

Thank you this means a lot just to be able to talk to someone but I’m not sure what to do next the thought of talking to someone about it makes me feel sick the second those words come out my mouth it’s real and I’m not sure if I’m ready for that.

Iammeanduareme
Posts: 11
Joined: Sat Sep 23, 2017 8:50 pm

I hope I can help in some way Luke

Postby Iammeanduareme » Thu Dec 14, 2017 9:44 pm

I feel like I am someone that qualifies to give u some advice being gay too and I was like super gay in high school wanting to try out all the stuff I seen on all those days and nights I seen watching -----... Im still gay but not as thrilled because of stupid decisions I made, remember when I was 18, I wish i had gay friends who would have helped me and shared their friendship to give me advice and help me prevent me from doing dumb things because I was hurting so much inside still in high school and feeling like my parents would react very violently to me coming out.. Anyways I remember complaining about how ugly I was and how bad my life was, I was a pity party but the truth is now I wish back then I should've have been more patient with myself and let time pass by, I was 18 and when I discovered Craigslist list, first thing I did was have unprotected sex with a stranger 10 years older than me, that's how desperate I wanted love and I craved attention.. I guess what I'm saying is don't ever sell your body like I did because I genuinely say it isn't worth it at all and I wish I could go back in time or I wish one of my straight friends or parents could have stopped me like they always did telling me where was I going or saying don't go stay home for this and that... Anyways my life is a mess right now and u would regret being in my shoes, life was better 100x better when I was 18, I am 21 now and I don't know what plagues my life at the moment... I don't have HIV or STDs.... But let me tell u don't the topic of unprotected sex, during these past 3 years as my sex life didn't turn out as great as I hoped, ud think I stopped at the first guy but no I was gay and needed to feel someone there, u don't want to make the mistakes I made, I had sexual relations with a 28, 25, 24, 23, 22, 53, 30 something... In the span of 3 years.. I have a mystery illness but I don't have the money to figure my life out and u don't want to make the same choices as I did, I live with so much regret and your still young so I hope u reconsider being patient for the right ppl because if u meet pol online, they'll most likely just use u and dump u like me because some ppl on those apps and websites just want sec and I understand I'm just informing you ... About the coming out to close friends and relatives... I admit I haven't either because I was too much of a coward or my pride doesn't permit me... Back then nobody knew in 2014... Now everyone kinda knows despite me not actually saying it and some ppl actually respect me and grown closer to me despite some ppl wanting to kick my arse at first cause its big news to them and ppl react differently. I can't tell u back then I was terrified as any other gay individual would be getting discovered by family and friends but over time my parents have became more lenient about my sexuality... The way they found out was a bit crazy but like I said in time your family may just perhaps understand and abide or bide by it... It just requires times believe me, I was in your shoes 3 years ago and constantly stressed, I still am but its not even about my sexuality anymore, I'm not even living just existing and trying to reconstruct my life together to where i first started before the moment i decided to sneak out at night to go have relations with a stranger.. because my life is all over the place and its bad but it could be way worse... So my advice is please never make any rash sexual decisions, and if you are be protected, I swear I'm lucky I don't have HIV or aids or whatever but I have to live with the regret of sleeping with a 53 year old man for about 2 years because I was dumbass, #2 I don't know your family but if your family really loves you, in time months and months or even years.. It will hardly matter because your parents may have gotten used to it by then or family relatives....patience is everything.. I think that's all about all the advice I can give... Please value yourself for your sake and remember to be patient with family and I guess the old platitude just try to live happily

anice_yan
Posts: 11
Joined: Sun Sep 17, 2017 7:29 am

Re: Do I have depression or just feeling down?

Postby anice_yan » Thu Dec 14, 2017 10:44 pm

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Last edited by anice_yan on Sat Dec 16, 2017 3:05 am, edited 1 time in total.

Lukey.123
Posts: 3
Joined: Thu Dec 07, 2017 6:07 pm

Re: Do I have depression or just feeling down?

Postby Lukey.123 » Fri Dec 15, 2017 4:13 am

Thanks to everyone for the advise it really helps Thanks to this I’ve told one friend I really feel like I’m getting somewhere now I don’t know about telling my parents just yet tho Im still relying on them for stuff so I’ll not burn that bridge just yet :D


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