I just need some clarification.
Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 8:56 pm
Hello All:
I'll be 30 in February. I've been deeply depressed for sometime. I was diagnosed with PTSD and Psychotic Depression at 15. I was sadistically sexually and physically abused as a child. I have permanent physical damage including minor brain damage from beatings and strangulation . I was in the hospital for suicide attempts twice between 14 and 16. As an adult I can't form relationships. I constantly have nightmares. I figured it would be best for me to be proactive regarding my misery so I got a better, higher paying job, moved to a better location, and found a comfortable apartment but even though I made these changes the sadness never goes away. Ever since I was raped the first time and I've been raped by both a man and a woman I've just never felt the same. I've been to counseling but after so long my therapist was unsure of what to do and I just felt like I was bitching. I can't have sex. I don't know how to meet people. I'm so lonely and conflicted. I don't know if I can trust a doctor but I'm thinking of seeing one as I think maybe medication might help me at this point. I think about suicide on a daily basis and I don't understand why. Everything is fine.and I have no reason to be sad right now. I feel guilty.
I'll be 30 in February. I've been deeply depressed for sometime. I was diagnosed with PTSD and Psychotic Depression at 15. I was sadistically sexually and physically abused as a child. I have permanent physical damage including minor brain damage from beatings and strangulation . I was in the hospital for suicide attempts twice between 14 and 16. As an adult I can't form relationships. I constantly have nightmares. I figured it would be best for me to be proactive regarding my misery so I got a better, higher paying job, moved to a better location, and found a comfortable apartment but even though I made these changes the sadness never goes away. Ever since I was raped the first time and I've been raped by both a man and a woman I've just never felt the same. I've been to counseling but after so long my therapist was unsure of what to do and I just felt like I was bitching. I can't have sex. I don't know how to meet people. I'm so lonely and conflicted. I don't know if I can trust a doctor but I'm thinking of seeing one as I think maybe medication might help me at this point. I think about suicide on a daily basis and I don't understand why. Everything is fine.and I have no reason to be sad right now. I feel guilty.