I just need some clarification.

Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.

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Joined: Fri Nov 17, 2017 8:42 pm

I just need some clarification.

Postby Sehnsucht » Fri Nov 17, 2017 8:56 pm

Hello All:
I'll be 30 in February. I've been deeply depressed for sometime. I was diagnosed with PTSD and Psychotic Depression at 15. I was sadistically sexually and physically abused as a child. I have permanent physical damage including minor brain damage from beatings and strangulation . I was in the hospital for suicide attempts twice between 14 and 16. As an adult I can't form relationships. I constantly have nightmares. I figured it would be best for me to be proactive regarding my misery so I got a better, higher paying job, moved to a better location, and found a comfortable apartment but even though I made these changes the sadness never goes away. Ever since I was raped the first time and I've been raped by both a man and a woman I've just never felt the same. I've been to counseling but after so long my therapist was unsure of what to do and I just felt like I was bitching. I can't have sex. I don't know how to meet people. I'm so lonely and conflicted. I don't know if I can trust a doctor but I'm thinking of seeing one as I think maybe medication might help me at this point. I think about suicide on a daily basis and I don't understand why. Everything is fine.and I have no reason to be sad right now. I feel guilty.

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Joined: Wed Aug 30, 2017 5:47 am
Location: Argentina, [email protected]

Re: I just need some clarification.

Postby DiegoArgentina92 » Sat Nov 18, 2017 8:49 am

Hi, dont feel guilty !

Pretty bad what you are telling... But dont feel guily. Hope you can go through this and feel good at a momment, maybe therapy would be good for you, talk about all the conflicts what you told making you have at the present, I hope you feel good to meet other people, i can see how hard can be trust in people before the experience you had... and how bad would be have a bad experience again...

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Joined: Fri Dec 01, 2017 7:56 pm

Re: I just need some clarification.

Postby Brainfog » Fri Dec 01, 2017 8:27 pm

Hi there,
I am sorry that you had such a traumatic childhood and continue to suffer as a result. You clearly have a lot of determination and strength to have survived such awful experiences. PTSD can be treated with therapy and medication. There are some new and novel treatments around that your doctor may be able to assist you with. As I have mentioned in another post, I find that it is easier to talk to people that have endured similar experiences, as they provide a different type of support. Perhaps find out whether there are PTSD support groups in your region and try to attend one to see what you think. You don't have to talk if you don't feel comfortable, you can just sit and listen to other's experiences and how they are coping. By hearing other people's experiences it helps to normalise what you are experiencing, as you may not feel so isolated as a result. Being able to share experiences honestly and openly in a non judgemental environment allows you to connect with others and feel supported. The fact that you are able to make positive changes to your life indicates a high level of resilience which is vital for your recovery and ability to more forward with your life.

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